[hannan423]

I have been in theripy for 3 years and i need to find another one because this one is just not working out how do you pick one that can help you and not disregard your feelings

please tell me what i should look for I have seen 3 in the past 3 years help

[razeljenny]

I am struggling with my theripist. It's awful. She will tell me things like "Lets work on issues from your childhood." Than I start getting ready and willing to do so. When I go in and start to share about what we said she just analizes me after everything I poured out (which by the way takes gutts) and says something like, R. you talk too fast, which is a symptom of your illness and I want you to know that you have to work on this problem because in society others will not understand why you do this. Anyway, we had planned that I was to share about a certain issue and I had thought that she would appreciate and help me to just be glad for release in our little session and I did not get a response from her that was normal. She could have said, "Great, I see you are opening up about the pain in the past, Very Good R." Anyway if you also have bad communication with the therapist, I pray that you find a good one, or just take a break. I am going to stop therapy all together because invalidation and bullying actually make me feel Sick. I bet that's how you probably feel from going to a crummy councelor. We both need to be careful. I think, in my opinion, anyway from my view, I prefer to not go to counciling than to go to a place where I am put down and leave there screwed. Razel- Hope I wasn't invasive or too blunt, and if I was I apoligize.

one persons great therapist can be another person flop of a therapist. basically the way to finding a therapist that will fit what you need is by sitting down and writing out why you want or need to be in therapy, what your problems are and what you want to accomplish during therapy time and brain storm possible things to do during therapy to solve those problems.

once you have that you write down some questions that you want to ask a therapist - qualifications, therapy approach, cost, after hours protocal should you need the therapist after hours and their protocal on self injury and suicidal behaviour if you have problems with those things.

Then you open the phone book to the topics of - mental health, community services, psychiatrists, psychologists, and atart calling those numbers in the phonebook and asking the receptionist if they have any therapists that work on your specific problems and if so ask for a consultation / intake appointment with a therapist. if you have a preference male or female let the receptionist know.

when you go to your consultation / intake appointment take your questios and paper on why you want to be in therapy and wht your problems are and possible things to do during therapy time with you.

at the intake appointment you will most likely meet with a receptionist/therapist to fill out the paperwork and briefly discuss why you want to be in therapy, what your problems are, some ideas for solving those problems and wat type of therapist you are looking for.

That intake receptionist/therapist hands in your paperwork to one of the supervisors who assigns their agency therapists their caseloads. that supervisor will match your paperwork and information that you gave during the intake appointment to their therapists that have an opening in their caseload and you will get a call from the therapist that is assigned to you.

In some agencys if you have a specific disorder you will automatically be assigned to the therapist that works with that disorder regardless of what your intake informations states for example in the agency where I recieve my therapy I was automatically assigned LL because she is the one in the agency that works with Dissociative Identity Disorder which is what I have.

Therapists cant fix you they are just the tool. they can listen and suggest possible solutions to your problems but only you can do those suggestions and only you can take care of your problems.

Sometimes therapists don't always say and do things that we want to hear or want people to do. the therapist isn't there to be a friend. They are there to challenge us to be at our best and challenge us to look at sides of the problem that we would otherwise ignore or pass over. Sometimes their doing this seems like they are disregarding our feelings because we don't want to hear what they are saying, or feel what they are making us feel.

One thing I do is I am up fromnt with my therapist. if she says or does something that seems uncaring or too hard on me I tell her so that she has the opportunity to explain where she is coming from. Sometimes it results in my seeing her side of things and other times it ends up being she saw a problem where there is none and appologizes for jumping too soon without knowing everything about the situation.

I can tell you fr5om being on therapist 19, you are not going to find a therapist you are buddy buddy with 100% of the time because its not their job to only do and say what we want them to. to get that that is what friends are for. a therapist is supposted to remain neutral and see all sides of things not just what the client wants them to see.

Good luck on your search for a therapist.

shopping for a T makes as much sense as shopping for a car that suits you. ask for a consultation and scope the T out. if you have bad vibes, try another one. don't give up. you'll find one that you mesh with. T's are Gods......they put their pants on, one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. good luck, xoxox pat

[(JD)]

It's your right to have a doctor who can help you. Please have the discussion with the T before you change, though. Sometimes it's the patient not letting the T know these things (not saying you haven't)... sometimes it's part of the therapy to reach these points... and work through them.

TC!!!

You can go to the APA website and search a clinical psychologist too!