T eating while in session

I once had a T who had a dog in the clinic. Not a pet but a " therapy dog". He explained that when his patients did not express themselves, he could tell what mood we where in by the interaction with the dog. And the dogs reactions to us. I am allergic so I left

I like most animals. I don't want them at the appointment distracting me or the therapist. The time the dog was there, the therapist was distracted. I have my own pets that I can interact with for free. I am not paying the therapist for either of us to pet her dog.

Well I suppose my T and I have some boundary issues. Oh well.

My T taking off his shoes....now that would freak me out! *shudder*

I feel like I should defend my T here. For several years he didn't eat in our sessions unless he was finding himself being distracted by hunger and then he would grab some peanut butter or a piece of fruit. Over the past year+ he has begun to eat his lunch on occasion during our meetings. At first it was a bit jarring but now it doesn't bother me at all. He usually will do it toward the end of the session and then will often go over time with me. I meet with him right before his lunch break and he is often playing catch-up at that point. Things have been very rough for me recently and so I am more than happy to have him eat when he is hungry during our session rather than decide he doesn't have time to deal with my emails, occasional calls and giving me extra time when he can.

Oh and I went to a MC for a while that had a dog that was in her office sometimes. Sadly I think I enjoyed the dog a little too much because she never brought the dog in again when I was there...darn it! She was such a sweetie and petting her was much better than interacting with my ex-to-be lol

it should so be on there, right?!

FWIW, I don't see the connection between boundary issues and the T eating during therapy. Or taking off his or her shoes. Now if your T started eating your lunch or took off his pants, then I'd see it as a boundary problem. As well as some other problems

Just because a poster proclaims it to be so, doesn't make it so. That connection seems illogical to me, although I think that everyone has a right to ask their T not to do things during their session that distract them/irritate them/upset them. What's going to cause that reaction in a client is going to differ among people.

I like you. ...not trying to be weird, you just seem really cool.

LOL... thanks!

As an older, conservative individual, I tend to define boundaries differently than younger people. For my generation, the removal of shoes and eating in a therapeutic setting is unheard of. It just isn't done.

I realize I'm dating myself and that's okay. The way some things were done in the old days made sense and they were instituted for a reason - to avoid certain undesirable situations.

From my perspective, too much familiarity can be an issue. If my therapist removed his shoes or asked to eat during my sessions I would consider it disrespectful and unprofessional.

There is a time and a place for those things it isn't in an office with a patient.

I am a younger (at heart) liberal individual and it's cool by me if you want your T not to eat and wear shoes. We all have different needs in therapy and I need familiar. Anne pointed out, none of us are wrong or right - just different.

I also view it as unprofessional. I would not go see someone who had a habit of eating or walking around barefoot. But if a client does not mind it, then I am not going to care for them. To me the problem more comes in if a client is worried that objecting to such will lead to reprisal from the therapist. We have to have these sorts of conversations with law students - you must wear a tie to do x, no flip flops in the courthouse, don't text someone during a hearing etc.

That explains it!! Jamaica me crazy!! Ps love the underdog reference.

I'm not surprised about the suits and flip-flops. I was stunned the first time I heard that someone had come to a job interview in jeans and tennis shoes. You're interviewing for a career and you show up in a T-shirt?

I guess you don't want the job too bad!

I guess I'm in the middle. Yes, it is unprofessional to eat and well, since we're including it now, especially to take off your shoes and put your feel up. I guess, however, that what matters is how the client feels and how the t is able to best do their job and some sort of compromise between that.

I've always described my t as unprofessional, but she isn't any less effective because of her actions and she works, so hey. I like her. I will think about this next session when she does either of those things though, and who knows, maybe I'll bring it up to my t too if it starts to bug me.

Whatever works I guess.

Nomad

Your not a T by chance are you?

Yeah, the problem is with the client being able to ask, or do they automatically kowtow to the T. Everyone has the right, as you say. But it's not cool for the T to take advantage of the client's vulnerability. That's a slippery slope. I know I'm one to talk about slippery slopes - being a hugger-mugger and all - but we do talk about stuff.

I did this too, but as a manicurist, not a therapist!! The owner of the beauty shop used to bring in his Pomeranian and that dog was smart. But as someone mentioned here, what did the health dept have to say about that?!!

But if the T needed a dog to read his clients' moods, maybe he was in the wrong business!! I think I would become allergic too!

Explains what?

No ma'am.

What happened a few weeks ago that was never supposed to happen ever again, but then it did? You had wanted to plan a workaround, but she didn't want to, and then she tried to back you into a corner. You didn't tell us what it was, but I remember it upset you and seemed not too bright of her to never say never AND try to force your hand, or force you to do things her way. A little disrespectful of you. You can't stop me from loving you, dog!!

Totally agree. I saw a marriage therapist once who always had her dog with her. I'm not a dog person, but even if I was, I think it would still annoy me to have the T feeding the dog in the middle of the session, as she did with my H and I. She also didn't tell us she had a dog. If I'd have known up front, I never would have gone to see her.

I also saw a T for one session who had a kitten in her home office. The entire session, she kept spraying the cat with a water gun to keep the cat off her desk. Had I been more assertive, I would have just walked out. It was ridiculous.

As for food, my T was once a couple of minutes late to a session. She told me it was because she was scarfing down a bagel, or something, and that if she hadn't eaten, she would have gotten a migraine. I told her I didn't care if she ate in our session. She responded that it never would have even occurred to her.

I like animals better than people (in almost all cases) and want a dog sooo badly, but for logistical reasons (plus my cats would be TICKED off) I can't have one right now...if my T ever brought a dog in, there would go my T session and me, off into doggie land. I would probably forget my T was there. Mmmmm, puppies!!

I would have taken the water gun and sprayed her....how annoying!!

You see, here's where I have a problem with this premise. What if that person showing up for the job were the next Bill Gates? Or the person that held THE solution to a problem the company had for a long time.

It can be a bad idea to confuse image with substance.

I don't care what my therapist wears, as long as it's something. I don't care if takes his shoes off as long as his feet don't smell.

Eating might bother me, but rather than making a deal about it, I would simply try to change my appointment time.

I don't care if he's the next Bill Gates. He hasn't told me he cares enough about the job he is applying for by dressing appropriately for his interview. By showing up dressed like a slob he isn't showing my business or me even a modicum of respect. He's telling me he doesn't respect himself either.

My office isn't a living room. It isn't the backyard or the garage or the local tavern. It is the locus of a hive that provides a vital service to clients.

If he doesn't respect me enough to dress professionally he's not going to respect my clients either. The last thing I want in my business is some guy who is telling my clients, by his dress and attitude, that he doesn't care about his employer, his employer's business or his employer's clients.

I realize the "relaxed look" is all the rage in society today. That's fine outside my doors. Inside my doors, if you want a job in my organization, you'd better dress and act professionally. That means a suit or a uniform and the bearing that goes hand in hand with it.

My T on the various issues:

Eating during session...twice while she was in chemo, she asked me explicitly if I minded her drinking Ensure during session. Of course I did not. She asks me if I mind if she drinks anything besides water (I don't give a rat's patoot what she drinks). She even asked a couple of weeks ago if it was okay if she ate a mint during session. I told her I'd do her one better; I took one out of her dish and ate it at the same time. I've only seen her eat once...when I left my drink bottle in her office and we had a 5 minute chat while she ate her lunch consisting of a sandwich.

Shoes off...never. We do sit in comfy positions; T in her chair, and me on the loveseat.

Dogs...never. Last week I modified my own schedule with pet therapy within the group home that I manage so as not to have to bring him to session. My T has 2 dogs, which she showed me videos of, but she leaves them at home.

Overall, I expect a nice balance between comfort and formality in our sessions. This has occurred for the most part.