T eating while in session

I like my dog. I took my dog in once. It really was distracting and not in a good way.

I had a case that involved ownership of a horse. As part of that, we had to go to a barn and inspect the horse. I arrived in khakis and a blouse. The other attorney, in a suit, had a hissy fit and called me unprofessional and all kinds of names. I continued wearing semi-casual clothes at every discovery event that didn't include the judge (depositions, inspections, etc), just because he had his panties in such a bunch about it. Typically I would wear suits to all of those events. I just didn't think a suit was appropriate to wear to a barn. Throughout the case, this guy was completely disrespectful to me and ignored what I had to say about the law that controlled the case. His client ended up having to pay my client over fourteen thousand dollars, AND he was berated by the judge several times for not knowing the law. The judge started to kind of gripe at me for not telling the guy the law in order to facilitate settlement. I gave the judge my letters to the other attorney explaining the law that applied, and guy's very rude, disrespectful responses. The judge rolled his eyes and the guy to sit down, read the statutes of our State and not stand up again until he knew them.

Fast forward several years, and I had another case against the same attorney, in a neighboring State where I rarely practice and where this other attorney practices all the time. This case involved injuries to a horse. So once again we had to go inspect the horse. This time I wore jeans and t-shirt. And weirdly enough, this attorney STILL could not get his head around the fact that I do in fact know what I'm doing. He was SO fixated on what I was wearing that he could not even hear what I had to say or actually read what I wrote to him. At one of the early discovery conferences in front of the judge, we were having a discussion about the law that applied, and this attorney was clearly talking out his behind. So I gave the judge my legal memo and the judge just YELLED at this guy, telling him it was pathetic that the out of state attorney knew the law better than the in state attorney. The guy's client fired him and hired a decent attorney, who promptly dismissed the case.

I get the need for a professional appearance in certain circumstances. But I do think it is an error to dismiss someone completely based upon jeans.

Are you telling me that you would show up for a job interview at a law firm in Levi's?

Nope, I wouldn't. I am saying that if someone showed up for a job interview, I would at least look at their resume before dismissing them.

It's a package, yes, but bearing and appearance matter in my business.

My XT broke 10 out of those 12 "boundaries", hence the X part. I couldn't tolerate the smells of food myself. Current T occasionally has hot tea, but she always offers me tea or water. I see her sip it in the beginning, but she usually sets it down and forgets about it. Shoes off would irritate me. (and I am a really casual person). I just don't want t to be "friendish". I prefer her to be a professional, that feels safer to me.

I LOVE animals. I wouldn't like t to bring a dog because I would feel the need to focus on it, and I'd use it as an OUT.

I do have a problem speaking up and telling T, "no, that's not okay", which is why xt was t for so long. I think it's really important that you feel comfortable. So however you need to do it, you really should try to let him know it bugs you. Keep the good t, but eliminate the food odor.

Well at the end of the day everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. If it makes you feel better that your doctor covers his tatoos with a lab coat then so be it!

Aside: What if Ts could smell our moods. Would that help?

Heh, that would have been amazing...and so out of character

Lovely story. That was great!

Ugh, sorry for my posts yesterday. I triggered big time. My job had a lot to do with my illness and crash.

I'm retired now but it doesn't seem to matter. I really blast off when certain things come up.

Again, I'm sorry!

Hey, we're twins!!

Well it's obviously something you are passionate about. Again and again the idea of respect and how it's shown surfaced in your posts. We all have different currency where respect is concerned.

You like what you like, others have their way.

It's all good.

Well, without going off again I'll just say that I'm disappointed in the world. There is less respect and politeness in the world than there was when I was young.

It's very hard for me to live in the current environment.

Hey, PP, I'm sorry if I made things worse for you. That was not my intent and I sincerely apologize because it looks like that is what happened.

Maybe, but I don't really get what that has to do with insisting that certain kinds of dress or behavior cannot possibly be "professional."

Every disrespectful, unprofessional interaction I've had has been with a dude wearing a shiny suit. Give me a guy in flip flops who does his job and doesn't lie like a sack of %^&* anyday.

You guys are giving me so much to run past my T! His take on this was, that by eatIng, the t is sending the message that their needs are more important than the client's.

Would you like to hit me in the head with a hammer?

No. Hands are not for hurting, and I can't hold a hammer in my teeth. too heavy.

I have dealt with jerks in all sorts of apparel. I like more formal in business type situations and I consider therapy to be a business type situation. If someone else does not mind it, then I assume those others will deal with the informal ones and go on. I find the more formal ones and deal with them. If I pass up Steve Jobs, so be it. I would rather not deal with someone I think is a jerk even if they are a genius. (I think Jobs was a jerk). Most slobby people are not that way because they are eccentric geniuses in my experience. If your experience with it is different, then go with that.

Seriously to each his own and move on. No violence necessary. Anyone wanna hold hands and sing?

Kum-ba-Yah? I'm in, it'll be like a flashback.

Hand holding violates my personal space requirements. I will stand a reasonable distance away while those who are of hand-holding inclination engage in behavior baffling, but not worrisome as long as I am not having it inflicted upon me, to me. And I even support the right of the hand-holding inclined to do so, as long as it is not inflicted upon me.

Ahem.

I started this thread 'cuz my T ate meals at 3 pm while in session with me....so, just pointing that out. It was not violance-inclined.

Once he put his fork down, I am sure both of us would go for Kum-ba-Yah.

Oh, but if we are going to hold hands let me use my hand sanitizer...I will share if there are any more germaphobes.

On Saturday mine told me he was going to grab a quick bite before my session so he could concentrate. He's also asked me once if I minded if he had a mint & offered me one. I said no so he offered me a packet of mustard from the same desk drawer.