c o u c h 38 - The dark ages....

(((CE))) I am so sorry...that was totally not supportive of me. I will try to be more supportive in the future.

Headed to T!

Bye Lola... Have a good session!!

good luck Lola!

Thanks, im nervous , like shaking ... Wth? Uggg

Deep breaths, Lola. (((hugs)))

I guess I'm dense because I continue to be perplexed that an honest, caring, constructive response can be taken as unsupportive. There are people on the forum who pretty consistently disagree with me. They sometimes don't see where I am coming from and I don't see where they are coming from. But I like them, and I think that they think me, and we interact by PM pretty often

Ahhhhhh!!! Waiting makes me so nervous. I have nothing to be scared of, I am just talking about asthma for goodness sakes!!!!

Ok I don't have t till next Friday and I'm nervous about the topic I'm going to bring up. I'm hoping to talk to her about discovering my sexuality and don't even know how to bring that up.

Do any of you really talk about how your issues affect your life? I maybe getting to place where I can talk about how I feel but I don't tell her about what impact it has on my life....

I just told my t about my dream last night where I'm talking to some girls in my brother's bedroom and my mother comes out of the closet... does that help?? Yes he started laughing but it was okay.

That is usually what we start with. A couple of times I have mentioned an issue and he asks how it actually affects my life. I think about it and realize it doesn't; it's just something I've noticed about myself that seems different than "normal" people. If it is not affecting me, he doesn't seem interested in discussing. I think that probably shows how far off "normal" that I am. We have too much to work on to waste time on stuff that isn't actively interfering in my life.

Yep, rts... That is about all we talk about. How my current issues are and will continue to effect my life.

i think that would be great if you can start doing that ready

Ok gotta go for a bit. Be back later.

off to take a shower so i can restyle my hair .i love the color and all but hate the style she did this time so got to go wash my hair for the 3rd time today .it will be fine when i can put it back to my usual style

More than 2 hours until marriage counseling and my hands are already shaking and I'm queasy. Bleah. FWIW, my T CRACKED UP when I told him about the 'get away before I stab you' comment. I was like

it would be nice if someone kind of took it a bit more seriously and looked at the reason you are feeling like you want to stab your husband. no maybe you would never do it but god .i am sorry people who are supose to help are not listening to well right now. sorry if i am way off base with this but this is how it would make me feel

I can see if it was read in a certain tone, it could have been unsupportive, sort of sarcastic. I don't think Wikid meant it that way, and I don't know if CE read it that way, but I can see it.
I think by trade, you and I don't take disagreement in and of itself as bad. I like many attorneys on the other side of cases. Some I despise, but most I can get along with. I like you and I think you are okay with me - cyber friends and all - but we do disagree on some things. I think we are respectful with each other and understand we come at things from different approaches. I don't think everyone has that understanding or training (I am NOT talking about wikid and/or CE or anyone specifically - this is general). I read a lot of things I think are critical and condescending and know-it-all for everybody on threads. I am not saying that is the writer's intent or even always the recipient's response - but it is my response. I have a different view of what is supportive. I am not saying I am right and others are therefore wrong, just that mine is not the same.

Ah. Thank you, stopdog, for clarifying that for me. That does make sense. That must be what my T was talking about when he mentioned my ease with him disagreeing with me, and expressing my disagreement with him. Apparently that is not the usual, I'm guessing.

That lack of understanding on my part is what lead to my signature line. I just could not fathom it when people think that just because someone else disagrees, the person is being personally attacked or criticized.

My partner often jumps in when I am talking to her colleagues/family/friends and explains that I am an attorney in order to offset her concern they are going to think I am actually fighting with them when I think we are having a grand old time. And I am an alien after all - so I am often perplexed at how a bunch of people agree on certain things (hugging for example).
It seems many people find even a hint of conflict very distressing. I am in no way saying I am sensitive enough to others on this.

Personally, when I post on the board, I want to hear other viewpoints. If I post that I think the sky is green, I'd much rather hear why people think the sky is blue. Having people tell me that it's my right to feel that the sky is green is NOT going to help me grow or change.

And yet I will fight for your right to think it is green if you want and also explain why I think it is blue. I think everyone has the right to be wrong if they want. And it may not be wrong for them.
Where the problem comes in for me is when I think people are insisting blue is the only way.

YES! This is what I think too! I kind of thought the point of therapy is to grow and change, and point of this forum to support others in that growing and changing process. If someone comes on here complaining that their T is horrible because he or she won't support them in their belief that the sky is green, I feel we do them no favors by going, "oh, yeah! It totally makes sense that you think the sky is green! Your T is being unsupportive."

I know I personally have had people comment and I argue with them. But then at 3 in the morning, when I'm staring at the ceiling, sometimes I'm thinking, "damnit. She was right." LOL