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#1
Jan 23, 2013, 11:47 PM
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Didn't want to hijack the other thread on online reviews....
I'm debating writing a negative online review for my former pdoc. It is very out of character for me. In college on course evaluations, I would go out of my way to write a few nice things about profs that were lousy because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. But this feels different. I feel that this pdoc did me a lot of harm and the way he treated me continues to hurt me 8 months later. I wonder if writing a review would help me put it behind me. And I don't want him to do it to someone else. The brief version: having a good pdoc was really important to me and I was frustrated that the guy on my insurance plan spent only 5 minutes with me. Pdoc was highly recommended, but he doesn't accept any insurance, but I wanted someone good, so I bit the bullet and paid his very high prices to get a little more attention. The first 2 years were great. I felt like he listened and wanted to work with me. He tended to get a little therapist-y on me and start doling out advice, and although I didn't appreciate it, I didn't let it bother me too much. Then I made some life decisions (about my relationship) that he clearly disagreed with. His whole attitude toward me changed. He started to be really short and curt. Then I was looking to make some med changes related to other medical issues and he started saying things that I knew to be untrue based on my readings and discussions with other doctors! He ended up telling me that I really needed X (very common, non-controversial) med and that he didn't feel comfortable rx'ing it because it would be too dangerous with my condition, so I should go to another pdoc. Okay, fine, but it felt really personal and not based on medicine. When I switched pdoc's (actually to someone he suggested) the new guy was very confused by his behavior. (Being generous) new pdoc said that maybe former pdoc was unwilling to rx the med because he is not up on the literature because he sees more kids than adults. So even a pdoc agrees that his medical advice was off. I feel that he at least owed it to me to say that he was having some sort of countertransference and needed to refer me to someone else. OR say that he wasn't familiar with this issue and so he needed to send me to someone more knowledgable. But instead, he pretended to know things and made me feel terrible. Would you write the review? Sorry so long. I needed to get that out. Best, EJ |
 anonymous112713, Anonymous32765
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#2
Jan 24, 2013, 12:05 AM
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I would write the review. I'd maybe even take it a step further and send him a detailed letter.
I feel your concern that he may do this to someone else. If you let him know how you are feeling about this maybe he will learn something from it? If I made someone feel this way...anyone, I'd want to learn from it. Course, I'm a human not a pdoc. |
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#3
Jan 24, 2013, 12:10 AM
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Yes. I would write the review.
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#4
Jan 24, 2013, 12:16 AM
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Absolutely. I've done this recently for 2 pdocs that I had bad experiences with. But then I thought I should balance it out and write a review on a pdoc I had a good experience with. Think about what you'd appreciate knowing if you were reading reviews to try to find a new pdoc.
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#5
Jan 24, 2013, 12:36 AM
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I wrote a negative one for a therapist and felt so incredibly guilty after; even though the review accurately reflected their incompetence. If its out of character to do it may feel very strange or could be healing; either way I'm sorry you had such a bad pdoc experience.
__________________
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#6
Jan 24, 2013, 10:48 PM
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Thanks, guys! Does anyone have a site that they particularly like to use?
EJ |
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#7
Jan 24, 2013, 11:11 PM
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I wouldn't do it. I prefer to deal with my feelings directly with the person involved, and I find the idea of writing a negative review online to be a passive-aggressive way of dealing with it. Maybe that's just me.
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail... 
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 Asiablue, Wren_
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#8
Jan 25, 2013, 01:20 AM
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I think I used ratemds.com but healthgrades.com looks pretty good, too.
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| shlump
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#9
Jan 25, 2013, 06:55 AM
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Personally no i would not do that. Or if i did it would be generic, rather than specific details. So i might write things like, "not pleasant" "not helpful" " would not recommend" "terrible time-keeper" etc but a long story about what my T did to me isn't for the public domain in my opinion.
And i know i don't hold much faith in bad reviews where the person seems disgruntled and writes something long winded.
__________________
INFP Introvert(67%) iNtuitive(50%) iNtuitive Feeling(75%) Perceiving(44)% |
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#10
Jan 25, 2013, 08:18 AM
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Quote:
Best, EJ |
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#11
Jan 25, 2013, 08:20 AM
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Quote:
Thanks, EJ |
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#12
Jan 25, 2013, 08:59 AM
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I think reviews are useful for consumers. It is good to let other prospective consumers know of areas where a particular professional is deficient.
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#13
Jan 25, 2013, 12:26 PM
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I think that if you feel that giving the kind of review that preserves your anonymity will help you, you can feel free to give it. I don't think there is any down side for you under those circumstances, and I don't think the pdoc will necessarily even find out about it, much less be "hurt" in some way and if he is, then that's his to deal with.
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#14
Jan 25, 2013, 07:37 PM
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Finding a review for a medical professional is hard. Maybe people are afraid of hurting feelings or being "found out" so they don't write them, but I think they can be helpful as long as they are well-written and not too detailed.
I wrote a negative review for a neurologist who didn't do a good exam and had a poor bedside manner. It made me feel empowered. |
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#15
Jan 25, 2013, 07:59 PM
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I'm really watching and learning from what people are saying. Thanks for bringing up the topic.
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#16
Jan 28, 2013, 02:05 AM
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I almost wrote one tonight - but I couldn't decide if my motivation was to help others, or to reclaim some power. If I ever decide it's the former, I might do it. If it's the latter probably not. I'm not sure how to tell which it is
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#17
Jan 28, 2013, 07:59 AM
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I'm not sure that reclaiming some power is a totally bad motivation. Reclaiming power is different from intending to harm. I had a college prof who encouraged us to be honest on our course evaluations because it was our "counter control" (yeah, with that sort of phrasing she was a psych prof). If we were unable to speak up in any way, people in power (doctors, professors, elected officials) can do whatever they want to us.
I know Ex-pdoc will never see the review and even if he did, he is such a raging narcissist he wouldn't care. I know I couldn't hurt him. I'd do it to make me feel better and warn others. Let me know if you end up doing it, Syra. Best, EJ |
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#18
Jan 28, 2013, 01:57 PM
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Quote:
Thanks EJ. You make a good point about reclaiming power vs. intending harm. I like your psych prof.  I imagine if I wrote one and she found out, she would wince, and then see it as further evidence of my problems. But I really don't know.  Funny thing happened - I thought of writing one for my current therapist who I think is very very good. And I couldn't click on the submit. I'm not sure why. Maybe afraid of things turning sour again (which I highly doubt. I had red flags last time, and no red flags this time). Maybe embarrassed to be fawning. I don't know. Did you end up writing one? Has anyone written a negative review? What did it feel like? |
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#19
Feb 19, 2013, 10:50 AM
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Update: I just submitted a review on Angie's list for ex-pdoc. I feel really good about it. I wasn't mean and I even mentioned the things I appreciated about him (good availability, didn't rush you out the door). I wasn't overly specific, but I did share that his attitude changed toward me after I made a life decision that he disagreed with. I said that his behavior became unprofessional and hurtful and it has taken me a long time to move past it. I'm glad I did it.
Slightly switching topics...I will also note that I came across a glowing review for my T. I had sort of a weird reaction to that. The person commented that T was so insightful and every session she came away with new ideas and perspective. I feel really connected with my T, but I couldn't have written the same review. Of course, I think things change over the years and maybe that is just a product of being with her for a long time. Or maybe I'm ready to be done with therapy. However, I'm about to go through some of the most challeging months of my life, so now is probably not a good time to drop supports. I'll keep it in the back of my mind though and reevaluate later in the year. Best, EJ |
| Anonymous32765
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| Syra
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#20
Feb 19, 2013, 05:11 PM
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it is sttrange how different clients have different reactions and experiences with the same t. Maybe T's are different with each client but wouldn't this mean they weren't being genuine or authentic?
I think reviews are great for informing future clients- good or bad as long as its the truth. |
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