A new t or not a new t, that is the question...

When I was in a very low place a couple of weeks ago the family gp suggested I saw one of the counsellors at the practice. I half agreed, half heartedly made the appt and now the day is here. In an hour I'll be waiting to see her.

I've already decided I don't like her so that's not a good start, I haven't even set eyes on her yet. Why do I feel like this? What am I doing?

I'm afraid I can't tell you why but I know I once had to meet one and felt the same. Ironically I then convinced her I had no problems and she believed me ( or let me think she did!) . I hope who ever you see manages to make you feel at ease and you are able to just be yourself and honest with them. If you hate her don't go back. Will be thinking of you.

Not much info given so I must go with why I would feel like this- chances are that you may have different reasons...
Anyway, I would absolutely hate if I felt pushed into that decision- from your post I gathered that it was not your idea to see the T? I'm very bad with others giving me advice on how I should live my life. (I do have a tendency to do the opposite just to spite them- working on it though)
Second reason could be that you're preparing yourself for the future disappointment- again at least that's what I'll be doing- when desperately needing for the T to help me (to the point that I'd feel dependent on her) I'd 'prepare' myself beforehand for the possibility that she won't help by saying to myself I hate that person, she'll be terrible anyway and won't help=> no reason to even go there... yeah, very helpful.
That all being said, I'd give her an honest chance (after years of therapy I can realise what I'm doing and sometimes even stop myself)- nothing to loose really and she might help you. Just check her out and see for yourself and let us know how it went.

By now, you've been there.... how did it go Nelliecat?

Thanks guys. It was 'ok'. Just 'ok. The first thing that struck me when she appeared to get me was how young, slim and pretty she looked. That made me feel uncomfortable. I know it's impossible to tell but she looked as if she'd never stood in the shoes of any troubled, suffering person and somehow wouldn't 'get it'.

She told me how CBT worked (this is what she offers) and the free workshops I could attend (I wouldn't be seeing her for a set session every week). She seemed a bit wishy washy but that could be because I'd already decided I didn't want to go for CBT and maybe wasn't really listening to her

It all seemed a bit of a pointless exercise really which I later brought up with the GP I saw this morning. She agreed, she heard me on all that I talked about, validated me and spent 45 minutes working on a medication plan with me. I'm going to come off my Paroxetine and start taking Venlafaxine which is an SNRI. I feel like I finally know what I'm doing, rather than drifting along hopelessly out of control.

I also believe that for me CBT would only serve to 'veneer' over the cracks of the last 38 years and only cause me to shut all the crap off all the more effectively.

Back to my regular T on Thursday. I think that after 2 years of not trusting T I finally feel I can let her in more and appreciate how she's working with me. And although it feels like slow progress actually it 'feels' right at last. So silver linings and all that, seeing CBT woman this morning may have helped to clarify some stuff for me.

I didn't know your story - I didn't realize you already had a regular T. Just as well! Because the way you describe the CBT counsellor is SO familiar (typical NHS actually) and just from your initial feelings about her she didn't sound like she was going to be much help to you. So good that seeing her has made you appreciate your regular T

I didn't realise you already had a t. Glad the appointment wasn't a complete waste. I know CBT works for a lot of people but for me it just hides the problems even deeper. So pleased things went well with GP