T kept asking me where I was

During the week I went back to see my new T. I had cancelled but she gave me another appt. As we talked about my childhood I kept drifting off into my head.
T kept asking me where I was? I looked at her and said, I am here with you and once we carried on talking, I would go off into a daydream again. I am not sure why this kept happening.

T kept asking me what I was thinking about and I couldn't tell her. She said where are you going button? She asked me to listen to the traffic outside and the voices in the next room and only talk when I was ready... This was all very new to me. I am not even sure what happened but it scared me.

I think she was trying to ground you; it sounds to me like you were disassociating or having a flashback.

My T does this to.

This has happened to me before but my other t never did anything about it.
Is this normal to happen?

It sounds like this new T was very in tune with you and sensed you needed grounding. I think it's normal for those of us who have difficulty associating feelings with overwhelming memories to drift...

The first one I see says my name loudly and then asks where I was. there is no real answer to that for me other than "simply not here." The second has asked me to tell her when I can first feel it starting to happen.

It's very normal and a good T will point it out to you and make sure you leave grounded.

I recommend putting "disassociation" into google and see if you feel it fits with your experience.

Take care Button x

This is all so new to me, I thought that this was normal because it happened all the time with old t. And she would just look at me till I could talk again. New t is helping but I can't help feeling I don't like this and I want to be ignorant and not know all of the ways I am different to others

Wow, ((((Button))))), your new T seems to be really attuned with you. Dissociation occurs on a continuum, like one side is highway hypnosis, where you drive and forget how you got there, or even when you read or watch T.V. and get lost in it. That's considered normal. (I'm no expert, this is just my understanding). Then there is dissociation that occurs when you are thinking of traumatic things, so for me I've learned to leave so I don't have to feel the pain. I'm not sure what it is like for you, but your T will help you explore things. This is SO exciting, Button, I feel so relieved that your new T is so good with you!!!!! Please keep us posted, I have a feeling that you will make a lot of progress, and you so deserve that.

I do this too.
My T used to do the same thing your new T does. Now he just sits quietly while I stare blankly out the window. I do focus on sounds around me and then on the books on T's wall and eventually back on T. But it took some time to master this "skill".

And I didn't ever associate this with being a negative thing before T. I just thought I was daydreaming and it was better than being in the present. And to be honest I sort of miss it now that I don't do it so much.

This happens to me as well. I have also been asked to say when it starts happening, but I don't think I always realize right away. Sometimes it's more after it has happened that I say I wasn't present.

Yeahh..this happens to me when i'm talking to my T about stuff that is deep.

For me personally it sucks as I feel like i'm wasting my session, but my T recognises it which is good and he brings me back.

As the others say google dissociation, there are some good articles on grounding techniques.

All the best. ^^

this has happened with me a couple times while talking to t, she has called my name and then asked "where did you just go?" My answer both times was "anywhere but here". It was disconcerting the first time it happened, I recall. but like everything else t took it calmly and i didn't leave feeling like a freak that it happened. I could have hugged her for that. Except back then I hadn't yet gotten brave enough to do so.

I just thought it was day dreaming too

Anti
Thank you for explaining dissasociation so well. I have to say I was reluctant to give this t a chance but it scares me how well she knows me already. We exhanged a few really long and detailed emails and she understands me and gets me, she assures me I am normal and that my situation is abnormal.
She has explained so much to me that I never understood and has been consistent and assured me that she is here for as long as I need her. I really like her

(((Button)))),
SO do I, I really like her a lot for you! I feel so much better knowing that you are in good hands!

Yes, it's not unusual. I am not necessarily "somewhere" although my T asks too.
I am just not able to be "there". I was frightened and embarrassed at first, but we've come to let it be something useful. I asked if she would she say something different, that she ask me directly, "What is it that made you feel like you needed to withdraw?" If I want more time before answering that, I tell her, as I might be heading "somewhere" and I want to see where that is. There is a reason it happens, and I want to know why.
We uncover fears and things to take notice of, and it's really helped my therapy.

I hope this is something you and your T will make use of, too!

Here is an interesting article I just read
http://www.integrativetherapy.com/se/articles.php?id=28
It is interesting to read from a therapists point of view

That was a very interesting read. Thank you for sharing.

No problem.

Wow! I thought it was just me too. My T said something about dissociation too, but I wasn't listening at the time. He also asked me to say when it starts happening but I can never tell either.

I don't know when it happens either until t will start to ask me where I am. Then I feel embarrassed and wonder how long I was out for.

No need to feel embarrassed, it is what it is and you have no control over it...so just try to understand what your subconscious is telling you.

Sounds like you were dissociating and the T was trying to help ground you in the moment.

This happens to me often (although less so now than it used to). My T is very in tune with me being present and she will often notice that I'm drifting away and try to help ground me. She usually asks me to listen to the traffic outside or the air blowing through the vents, or even just pick a spot in the room to focus on and concentrate on my breathing.

Sounds like your new T is much more in tune with you and much more aware of what you might need (even if you don't know yet) at the moment.

Yeah - often, when T asks where I went, my reply is simply "not here." And then, once T helps me to get grounded, we talk about why I needed to not be there right then.

Button - with practice, and with your T's help, you'll start to notice when it happens earlier and earlier and maybe even be able to tell T when it's happening. I'm now able to tell my T when it starts that I feel like I'm not really present in the room anymore, and we stop and she lets me try to ground myself. If I need help, usually, all I have to do is look at T and she'll guide me through it.

Button, I am so happy that you went back to this new T! She sounds so excellent!

I don't know what it is trying to tell me Is there suppossed to be a message in this dissasociation? I think this has been happening outside of therapy too because often I find I am losing time and the day has gone and I dont know where the time has gone.

Your T sounds great Blessed
IT is great that you can control it now and that your t can help, gives me some hope.
She is amazing and has thought me more than any of the rest of my ts.
I talked to her about me not wanting to go back to her after last session and she apologised and said that she hadn't closed it properly and asked if there was anything that we can do to close off after sessions.
She said she will be here for as long as she needs me and if I need a break it's ok too and she told me to contact her of I needed to during the week. No therapist has ever been like this for me. It is a new experience and so far I like it.