happily ever after... with your help

~EnlightenMe~ · Feb 26, 2013, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

(OK T, now we find out if you really read PC or not.)

Once upon a time there was a client... we will call him/her

who had a T ... we will call him/her

Therapy had been going on for a while, with some good trust, some good interventions, some good progress, and then one sunny day, decided to throw out an Ugly Truth (in Tspeak to be sure, but you know, somewhat along the lines of, you know what your trouble is? it's this...)

Well,

was totally blindsided and said No, I'm not like that, you don't understand.

and

smiled and said, I do understand, and oh yes you are.

no.

Yes.

And suddenly there was in impasse.
Before any time at all had gone by, poor

became more like

and as the insistence went on, more like

and then more like

and sometimes even

How can these two find their way to a happy ending? It seems a strategy or two must be found to bring this subject up less directly, approach it from an angle, as it were, for the sake of poor

does anyone have any good ideas? For things that are hard to disclose, PC people have said tht talking about talking about it is one gradual way to disclose... how about in this case?

I would say, "Tell me what my trouble is again?"
"Tell me who I am again, so I will know next time I come to therapy?"

That would NOT go over well with me. I may not know all of who I am, but there is no way that someone else is going to convince me that I am some way or the other (again).

Take this seriously, and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him this is NOT who you are, and if he can't see you any other way, then he needs to get a consult.

Tell him that you need a therapist, not a psychic. Tell him that his crystal ball just won't cut it for you.

Keep us posted.

learning1 · 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

I see what you did there..

I don't think writing is 'less clever'.. but you know, sometimes when there are problems in therapy - especially when about the therapist or something they did/said (in my experience) - the T can become a little defensive. Things can get a little tense... To me this seemed like a great way of raising the issue - gently, and with humour - and maybe raising a smile at the same time, whereas plain writing telling the same story could come over 'emotional' or 'attacking' if the T were so inclined to take it that way.

Or.. maybe it just appeals to the inner child in me. (She is mischievous tonight!

)

I'm a little late posting here but my reaction was like JS Girl's. I thought that the impasse was due to the lack of funny emoticons in the therapy office.

Anyway, I'm sorry it's hard sawe. It sounds like you already think there is some truth to what your t is saying.

I liked what Rainbow wrote- you could say "it hurt me when you said what you did. Maybe it's true but I'm not ready to hear it". I wouldn't have thought of that. On the other hand, I think I'm too open to letting t's talk me into negative things about myself sometimes. I agree with Rainbow that they shouldn't be saying it if the client isn't ready to hear it, which is maybe almost the same thing as if "it" is wrong. The client is ultimately the only one who can decide if it's right or wrong, so if they're saying it when the client is going to feel it's wrong, it might as well be wrong. And if "it" is going to make the client feel s/he doesn't have dignity, that can't be right/correct either. Hmm, I think I've just convinced myself that at least something about what

is saying to

has to be wrong. At least the way

is expressing it has to be wrong because

is leaving

feeling like

won't have any dignity. I don't know if all of that helps any though since

maybe still is going to try to have some difficult conversations to help

understand things better.

sittingatwatersedge · 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antimatter

I would say, "Tell me what my trouble is again?"
"Tell me who I am again, so I will know next time I come to therapy?"

That would NOT go over well with me. I may not know all of who I am, but there is no way that someone else is going to convince me that I am some way or the other (again).

Take this seriously, and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him this is NOT who you are, and if he can't see you any other way, then he needs to get a consult.

Tell him that you need a therapist, not a psychic. Tell him that his crystal ball just won't cut it for you.

Keep us posted.

hmm.... maybe I am still doing her an injustice; I don't take offense at T bringing this up; it's not like crystal ball time, she doesn't do that. It's just what was brought up.

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