[thehermit]

I told my T about PC & he told me it wasn't a good idea to get involved. I'm decreasing my sessions because I'm ready to move on from therapy after years w/ different Ts. He told me I needed to form social connections outside of the computer. I have a difficult time making friends, especially since my best friend's husband started stalking me & making unwelcome sexual advances even after I told him to leave me alone. I've always been a loner-hence the username thehermit. I've never belonged to any kind of computer chat room or support groups or anything. I thought this would be a good place to try & get some experience in learning how to form better social connections, & talking to other people. What are your thoughts on my T's advise?

Originally Posted by thehermit

I told my T about PC & he told me it wasn't a good idea to get involved. I'm decreasing my sessions because I'm ready to move on from therapy after years w/ different Ts. He told me I needed to form social connections outside of the computer. I have a difficult time making friends, especially since my best friend's husband started stalking me & making unwelcome sexual advances even after I told him to leave me alone. I've always been a loner-hence the username thehermit. I've never belonged to any kind of computer chat room or support groups or anything. I thought this would be a good place to try & get some experience in learning how to form better social connections, & talking to other people. What are your thoughts on my T's advise?

Well.. IMO I think that any relationships can be healing, online or in person. Ideally in person would be nice, but why limit yourself. I mean look at all the dating services and online things you can do to meet people. Its a new form of communication.

[Mike_J]

I think in person support groups are also very helpful, at least they have been for me.

If you Google DBSA and/or NAMI you might be able to find a support group near you.

[adel34]

In my oppinion your t shouldn't have said so quickly that this wouldn't be good for you! I could see if there was something going on where you were on so much it was interfering with your life in some way, but to dismiss it right away just wouldn't makeme feel very good. I think connections are connections whether they're online or not. A very good friend of mine is someone I met on here and we are together on the forum as well as communicating offline by e-mail. She's every as bit as "real" as my other two friends who live in the same building I do. So I'd say that if you want to feel free to keep posting and just see how you like it.

[thehermit]

When my T said that, I didn't feel very good about his dismissal of this site. So, I got back on to see what all is here, & there's so much, i don't see how it can be harmful. I don't spend much time on the computer. I have a lot to do, but my work is mainly solitary here @ home. Thank you for the encouragement.

[thehermit]

My T also told me he thought I should stay away from in person support groups. He says the main topics are mental health & I need to move away from these kind of discussions. I'm not sure I agree. I just don't want to be so isolated & invisible.

[CantExplain]

Maybe your T is just suggesting you get out more?

[thehermit]

CantExplain--Yes, he's suggesting I get out more. The last time he told me that, I became a lunch buddy & best friend with my neighbor lady w/ the stalking, sexually inappropiate, lying husband. It became a rather ugly when she found out. We are not friends any more, but have finally managed to be civil to each other. I have deep trust issues, & it's rather hard to make friends or be part of a social group when you're afraid to trust.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by thehermit

CantExplain--Yes, he's suggesting I get out more. The last time he told me that, I became a lunch buddy & best friend with my neighbor lady w/ the stalking, sexually inappropiate, lying husband. It became a rather ugly when she found out. We are not friends any more, but have finally managed to be civil to each other. I have deep trust issues, & it's rather hard to make friends or be part of a social group when you're afraid to trust.

I don't think there is anything wrong with doing both. Online and offline.

[manymiles]

I think both online and offline are fine but would be cautious if my T advised I focus on offline relationships. I think a potential problem could be that one could be "satified enough" with online interactions to such an extent that you don't reach out to folks IRL.

Also what about connecting with folks in ways that may not require a lot of trust like a bookclub at a bookstore, exercise group activity/team, class on something that interest you. That way you could have the relationships/connections be about the event or thing instead of something heavier. JMO

I don't see anything wrong with it either. I met my husband online and that was 16 years ago! And we're still together.

[thehermit]

Ya'll have made wondeful comments & suggestions. Just so you know, manymiles, I would love to join a book club or something like that. I live in smalltown Texas & there's not very much available. We don't even have a bookstore anymore in the closest larger town w/ a mall & several shopping strips. There's similar problems w/ the other suggestions. Can't join anything when there's nothing to join. I have done a lot of volunteer work. I think I may need to go back to that to be out w/ IRL folks. Please keep the comments & suggestions coming. They are opening up my mind to other things.

Congrats to you, Artemis, for your 16 yr. marriage.