I "lost" my old T a few days ago. I'm 50 and all my life I have tried to "fit" in, I'm tired. I want to stay in my home and never go out again. I don't want to be "nagged" constantly to "get out there". I just want a therapist that supports what I want in life, a quiet ,quiet life. Why a therapist at all? Because I suffer from depression, anxiety and PTS.
So any chances of finding a flexible therapist?

[(JD)]

Is that what you really want? IF you were able to feel ok with getting out there, would that be ok? If you find a T that enables you to do that, wouldn't you like that, because then you wouldn't feel worse for trying? Now, if you really would like to be OK with "getting out there" why would you want to tie your T's hands and prevent him/her from helping you.

Why do you want a T if you won't let him help? (Rhetorical question.)

I'm sorry you are feeling so disappointed and hopeless. You can have a quiet life without becoming a recluse imo.

[9874]

Freewill, I so understand what you are saying. You want a therapist who can support you in your goals, not one who has his/her own agenda. My own T is ok with allowing me to set the agenda. Just don't be surprised if after some time of working with a therapist you like and trust, that you begin to have an interest in the very things you don't right now........
Wishing you success in finding a competent, experienced therapist who can support you in your quest for support.
Take care,

[Sarah116]

Please try checking on Therapist ratings. There is someone out there believe it or not! Did your T die? I have not seen my shrink in awhile and am concerned. I got the idea that hit me like a ton of bricks to look her name up on a search engine, the results were golden! Perhaps you should try search engines. BEST OF LUCK!!!

[9874]

SArah116, you mention checking out Therapist rating. Where can I find that? I've been searching and can't seem to locate it.

Thanks!

[(JD)]

On the main page is a new way to enter your zip code to find a therapist near you. http://psychcentral.com/

[Perna]

I think, freewill, to get a quiet life you have to have a quiet you and to get that, you probably have to first "get out there." If you don't go out because you're afraid of what's out there then you'll always be huddling in your sanctuary, afraid. You have to go out and see/make it not a bad place out there and then you can relax in your quiet. You have to make the whole joint "yours" both inside and out before you can rest. But if you don't care about the depression, anxiety and PTSD then to heck with the therapist. I found though it was nice to have someone along for the "adventure" since it was pretty scary for me.

[alexandra]

Hey. I understand that you must really not feel comfortable going out... When I'm feeling depressed it is the last thing I want to do. When I feel really anxious around people then the last thing I want to do is spend a lot of time around people.

Maybe... Once your depression and anxiety is more under control you might be able to enjoy going out, though.

I mean... I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'going out'. Do you go for walks? Do you go to the supermarket? Are you just talking about going out and spending a lot of time with people? People tend to vary with how much time they like to spend with other people. You said that all your life you have been struggling with trying to fit in. Struggling with that is anxiety provoking rather than fun so I understand why going out isn't something that you would find fun. Sometimes... Therapists can help us manage our anxiety and depression... And help us figure out who we are a little more. The kinds of things you like to do and stuff like that. If you go out with people who have similar interests to you then there can be a lot less of a struggle to try and fit in and a lot more fun!

That being said, I understand things a little from both sides... I really wouldn't find much benefit to seeing a t if they were really focused on changing me to what *they* think is best. On the other hand I'm not sure how much a t can support you in something if they really do think that your depression might be worse than it would be if you had more social supports (for example).

Quite often in life... I think there can be something of a middle ground.

You guys are the absolute best!!!!!! Paxil makes it hard for me to cry but that's what I'm doing... Good crying..... Thank you for your care and support.
Hugs to all of you!!!!!

[Sarah116]

Oh I am sorry i did not get to you sooner.....
http://therapistratings.com/cgi-bin/index.cgi

[jennie]

(((((((freewill)))))))) I'm confused. Are you wanting to not go out because you don't want to socialize or because you are afraid of leaving your home?