[JayneJohnson49]

Hi,

I posted on the "Dear T thread..." and was suggested I start a new topic based on my "Dear T letter" which is great since I'd appreciate different perspectives.

Does your T contact you between sessions if you're in crisis with sui thoughts to see how you're doing or to remind you they're there, that they care? (Sorry, I've seen both sui and SI referenced on here and not sure of the difference). If so, do you request T contact you or does T reach out without prompting?

My T has said that if he had known how suicidal I was when I started, he would have called me and/or asked me to call and touch base more often. As it is, he does not call me unless I call and ask him to.

[stopdog]

No they do not. It would completely freak me out to have them checking on me. If I want them, I will contact them. They have to stay back unless bidden. I actually check when I first interview them to make sure they won't.

[tinyrabbit]

Sui = suicidal, SI = self injury.

I'm going to tell my T I'm in crisis tomorrow so then we'll see. I'm not sure if he would check in with me though.

[trdleblue]

I think that mine would have me check in with him. I was having a hard time a few weeks ago and he wanted me to contact him between sessions. Since I could not guarantee that I would do that, he had me start seeing him twice a week. This was temporary and this will be my last week before I go back to once a week. I am glad that he did it this way. I don't think that I would be able to answer the phone if I knew he was checking in on me.

I am not certain, but I think that SI is usually used for self injury.

When I was admitted last year my T was incredibly pissed off that the unit never rang him because he would come to see me. Since then he has checked in whenever I need it. Not that I admit to needing it that often. he will intervene and ring the crisis team on my behalf if he feels I need it.

[confused and dazed]

I was once having a very bad time during T's vacation, that I had to email or call each day at 7pm until our next appointment.

My Psch Doc calls me if I email him and am frantic. He calls me for my appointments sometimes if I can't make it in person to my appointment.

[Nightlight]

No. No one seems to care about how badly I'm coping and that a little extra support might be enough to pull me through. Well, T does actually, but I'm expected to call a crisis line if it got to that point. I never would though.

[JayneJohnson49]

Thanks everyone, this is helpful. I was disappointed she didn't contact me as I've read a number of threads on here were T's do reach out via phone, e-mail or text but it never occurred to me clients were asking for the additional support. I definitely did not directly or indirectly indicate I needed a subsequent call but realized during the week I wanted that check-in as a mode of connecting.

Also glad for the SI clarification, I thought it meant sui ideation.

[JayneJohnson49]

Nightlight, I've called a crisis line and found it helpful. My experience, although limited, was the people are extremely genuine and in no way minimize your experience or feelings. I wasn't in crisis like needed to go to a clinic but my thoughts were progressively destructive and I didn't know what to do so I called. Even after learning I wasn't in imminent danger to myself or others the lovely people stayed on the phone to chat and provide reassurance and support. Dialing the phone was intimidated and a few times I hung before anyone answered but finally I stumbled my way through a greating and so glad I did.

We are here and we care about you.

[likelife]

No, my T doesn't check in. She doesn't encourage me to check in either. But she's been fine with the 2-3 times I've called her because I was in crisis.

[BlessedRhiannon]

My T will ask me to stay in contact with her, but she does not contact me unless I ask her to. If I call or text or email her first, then she will respond. If I'm in crisis, she will ask me to check in with her via email or text and call if things get worse. My T knows how much I hate talking on the phone, so that's always my last resort.

[content30]

Yes, my T checked in on me without me asking when I was sui. Also, when I got out of the hospital, she had me call her and leave a message every morning.

When I was in the hospital and she was on vacation, she even called on the general patient line...had to wait for another patient to answer and tell that person to get me, etc., just to talk to me.

Yep, she's a keeper!

[EllieBear]

My T reminds me that I can call or text her anytime when I am really struggling, but she wants me to reach out and ask for help so she doesn't call me first.

[Moodswing]

The one therapist I have been seeing for 6 month could careless if he let me leave triggered and depressed after having to recount childhood experiences(I no longer do that type of exposure therapy with him. I feel like we just coffe talk now. Like a paid friend). I have negative coping behaviors(Bulimia,SI) and he says all in all it is my choice how I deal with stress. I broke down into tears when I started seeing a second therapist,for EMDR and IFS, when insisted I contact him in any way ,from leaving him a message or e-mailing him ,if I am not feeling good. He would contact me to process what is happening and if necessary bring me back in for a session. It was an overwhelming feeling to hear him say that. To feel someone actually cares.

[HealingTimes]

My T does allow me to contact her in between sessions, but its always me who has to make the contact, she never would.
She believes that she has to give me the space to make a decision of whether i need the exptra contact.
I contacted her yesterday because i was really mad and upset about feeling abandoned, and she called me back to say that she had been thinking about me and was worried that i would SI, but that she never contacts clients first.

[WikidPissah]

I had a t that would have me text him at regular intervals when I was very bad. He called me once, and I basically told him that was unacceptable. I don't want him calling me. I also had a t call my H once to check up on me, and he was fired shortly there after, another unacceptable act.

[critterlady]

My T encourages me to contact him if I need to, but he does not initiate contact. It's an empowerment thing.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I had a t that would have me text him at regular intervals when I was very bad. He called me once, and I basically told him that was unacceptable. I don't want him calling me. I also had a t call my H once to check up on me, and he was fired shortly there after, another unacceptable act.

Ack - that is horrible sounding to me. I would have fired him too. And before the second unacceptable act.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I had a t that would have me text him at regular intervals when I was very bad. He called me once, and I basically told him that was unacceptable. I don't want him calling me. I also had a t call my H once to check up on me, and he was fired shortly there after, another unacceptable act.

Were you suicidal at this time?

My T has rung me up on occasion if I've sent her an email indicating things aren't good, rather than simply sending a reply. She's been good like that. I did feel 'left hanging' at times during a rough patch we went through, but I recognise I was being rather demanding and she had to hold the boundaries. If we had a bad session I'm not sure she'd 'check up' on me without me contacting her first.. though sometimes she's emailed or text with an article or a scheduling issue or something if she maybe hasn't heard from me, and I've wondered if she has used the opportunity to check in. It's typically down to me to reach out, but she has been 'there' more often than not

During a crisis I am usually allying, and emailing away. We is not usually worried about the content. I can tell her I'm going to kill myself, why my life sucks, why I'm a failure. These thoughts went from being everyday before I started therapy to only being present during major pieces of work. She was glad for the emails, because I was communicating, and I was a live. If she received a distress call she would call me back, and leave a message that she was there for me. And, sometimes she would follow up with an email after the call. She is very attuned to my needs, like a good mother is to her child.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Were you suicidal at this time?

no. I left a session early because it was more than I could handle, he was pushing me too hard. I was visibly upset. He attempted to call my cell, but I ignored it. Instead of leaving a message, he called H and told him he was concerned. I get his concern, but he had no right to call H.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by JayneJohnson49

Hi,

I posted on the "Dear T thread..." and was suggested I start a new topic based on my "Dear T letter" which is great since I'd appreciate different perspectives.

Does your T contact you between sessions if you're in crisis with sui thoughts to see how you're doing or to remind you they're there, that they care? (Sorry, I've seen both sui and SI referenced on here and not sure of the difference). If so, do you request T contact you or does T reach out without prompting?

trigger warning for the last paragraph to explain the difference of sui and SI

no my therapist leaves contacting her u p to me.. one time I asked her why she never contacts me if I disclose in session I am suicidal...

her response was...

"you would like me to treat you like a child yes? If you need a higher level of care such as having me check up on you as if you were a child or cant be trusted or are not competent / responsible for your own mental health safety decisions then thats the time to go inpatient where there are mental health people who's job it is to constantly keep an eye on, check in with and keep a suicidal person safe. Just say the word and Ill start commitment process, while we are at it how about if we start the process to have a guardian appointed to you that can make your mental/physical and safety decisions for you?"

I quickly rethought that idea of having to depend upon my treatment providers to contact me when I felt suicidal. Im very happy and proud of the fact that my therapist trusts me to be responsible, and trusts that if I feel I am a danger to myself or others I will contact her for increasing our sessions or inpatient care if needed.

by the way ... this is where the trigger warning applies...

SI stands for Self Injury....doing harm to your self on purpose such as cutting, burning and other acts of self injury.

sui some members use that for the word suicidal because writing the whole word out can be triggering to some people.