[Yobeth]

I been seeing my T for 3 years. Every year she takes off from 3rd week of July until after Labor Dat (6 weeks) as she has school age kids who are home for the summer.

It's so hard for me to be away from her this long. Last year, I had out of control episodes when she was on vacation and my family kept asking me when is T back from vacation.

In the past 6 months I had 2close deaths in my family. My Dad and my beloved dog. I'm still working on getting out of this depression.

I am starting to have anxiety now about her vacation. How do you handle when your T goes on vacation? I was planning to ask her to leave a message on my voicemail so I can keep listening to it while she is away. I'm nervous she won't do that because she once told me she doesn't want me to be dependent on her.

[Willowleaf]

Hi, what a nightmare. I am so sorry. Mine is away now for just a week and I am having a lot of anxiety. In the summer it will be 4 weeks and she is helping me look at ways of keeping safe. For example this time she has written me a letter that I will open next week when I would have gone to therapy. I also have lists of things that help in different situations. She understands how attached I am and how much I hate the attachment but she says if I stop fighting it , it won't last for ever. She always asks what I need and how I can get it when she is away. I am also very lucky in that if she can she encourages me to text or email her if things get really bad. She knows that I have never yet done this when she is on a break, but it helps me to have this safety net just in case of emergencies.
I think the voicemail thing is a brilliant idea. If she says no maybe discuss alternatives. It sounds like she is wary of patients becoming dependent, but for some of us it seems to be part of the therapy. If we didn't have attachment issues we probably wouldn't become dependent in the first place. I really hope you find a way of discussing this so she can help you prepare.

It's hard not to see T for so long. I miss mine very much. I like your idea of asking her to leave you a phone message. That would be really nice.

[BonnieJean]

M t handed me a card with a note in it at the last session before she went away for 10 days last year. She said she would think of me and knew I'd be thinking of her. You could ask for a note. It was nice to have something concrete from her while she was away. 6 weeks is so long. I'm sorry you have to do that.

[HealingTimes]

Maybe on the lead up to it, she could help you to prepare for it. I would talk to her about it so that she can help you through it.

I defiitely understand. My t had to leave the country two years ago for a family emergency and is still gone- i went to see her six months ago but that seems like so long. Is so hard when your t is gone! Things that help me are keeping busy, reading a lot of books, working on my hobbies, and writing letters to her. I hope your ts vacation goes by really fast for you.

[Yobeth]

THanks for the suggestions. Seems like a few of your Ts will write a note or letter. How or what do you say so you don't seem so dependent on her. We only talked about my transference feeling once and never discussed it after that but I know she knows how I feel. She is strictly by the books, but discourages my dependency on her. Suggest what I can say? Thanks!

My T went on a rather long vacation last summer, and will do so again this summer, so I think I can understand some of what you are feeling. One thing somebody here recommended to me last year was to think about the next time I would be seeing T if he'd been around, just one week ahead at a time, rather than about all the looming weeks ahead at once. And then if possible do something extra nice for yourself during the time you would have been with T.

I would also like to know how people raise the subject of geting a message to keep for when T is not there. I don't think it's something I would be able to ask for, but it would be interesting to know how it could be done.

[wotchermuggle]

I found that when there are extended periods away from therapy, I find something to substitute. Maybe a dinner out with friends or some type of activity. It doesn't have to be on the same day, but something for me to look forward to doing to pass the time.

I always hate when people say exercise, but that helps too.

[stopdog]

I find that once the oddness of the first week is over, a change in schedule sort of thing, I am happy. I find therapy wrecks a lot of the week for me, so not going because the therapist is gone, usually gives me more time where I am not frustrated and angry.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I am also experiencing a T Vacation. We had a really good session and it was really grounding on Thursday. He has told me that I can email but right now, three days into this, I don't feel the need and I don't plan on doing it. Plan something that you like to do each week, work on some project or something that you can complete in that amount of time, read or do anything to preoccupy your mind. Talk to your therapist.