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#1
May 13, 2013, 01:08 PM
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a former t used to say how I had "temper tantrums"
And how I "wasn't endearing" A doctor (Irl) said worse things  Maybe they weren't mean, Just "accurate" (ps he was right saying I'm broken Whiny butt me who needs to stay in her freakin cave
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 1stepatatime, Anonymous327401, Anonymous32930, Anonymous33425, Anonymous58205, growlycat, happy 2 b here, learning1, manymiles, rainboots87, rainbow8, suzzie, tinyrabbit, wadingthruemotions
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#2
May 13, 2013, 01:43 PM
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NO!!!! You do not need to stay in cave!! I think it's terrible that they said things that hurt you. Therapists' jobs are to help us, not criticize us.
Are you seeing a therapist at the moment? Having a 'good fit' is so important. There is a therapist just right for you - one that does not feel mean to you. |
 Fuzzybear
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#3
May 13, 2013, 01:47 PM
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Know what? You don't go to the doctor or the therapist to be endearing. A T who wants to see only the endearing parts of people should be, I don't know, a T for little bouncy kittens or something.
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| 1stepatatime, anilam, Anne2.0, CantExplain, FourRedheads, Fuzzybear, learning1, likelife, manymiles, moonlitsky, murray, rainboots87, rainbow8, skysblue, unaluna, wadingthruemotions, WikidPissah
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#4
May 13, 2013, 02:13 PM
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I think there are different ways of saying the same thing. I have a drama queen side that comes out sometimes and my T talks about that in the third person, like "Do you know why she does x?" which means I don't feel shamed for that side of me.
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| Fuzzybear
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#5
May 13, 2013, 03:19 PM
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I am sorry but that is completely unethical for professionals to say. We go to them feeling bad about ourselves, broken and vulnerable and they say that. It's crap.
Please don't feel bad about what Rhodes two insensitive buffoons say as they are talking through their arses. 
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| 1stepatatime, Fuzzybear
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#6
May 13, 2013, 05:22 PM
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"Not endearing"?? You are not trying to be your personal best on a dinner date to impress someone (altho I had an ex who spoke to me like that, and it wasn't okay, either)...and "temper tantrums"? Totally unprofessional language with no filter instead of talking about your feelings and your reactions and why.
Maybe that T (and these other drs) have some of their own not-so-endearing qualities as professionals. You deserve better, don't let these people bring you down.
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| 1stepatatime, Fuzzybear
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#7
May 13, 2013, 05:23 PM
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maybe they were just big fat liars
 or  
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| 1stepatatime, Fuzzybear
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#8
May 13, 2013, 07:30 PM
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Dude, any T talking about temper tantrums and not being endearing should probably step away from the mirror to actually address their client from time to time.
I'm sorry you've had this experience, Fuzzy. It sounds terribly disheartening. |
| Fuzzybear, manymiles, tinyrabbit
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#9
May 13, 2013, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
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| Fuzzybear, likelife
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#10
May 14, 2013, 02:27 AM
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 I don't pay my T to be endearing with him, I pay him to be me (good AND bad)- unlike the real life where I'm noticing others needs/wants and trying to fullfil them... i don't have to do that in therapy. Please, don't take it personally. A good T should not be saying things like that. Plus I had my share of tantrums while in therapy, when I commented on it, saying I acted like a spoiled brat, my T replied No, not now at least  :
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| Fuzzybear
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#11
May 14, 2013, 02:36 AM
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((FuzzyBear)) I was saying to Mr T today, that he won't get very far if he sees me only at my best.
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Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
| Fuzzybear
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#12
May 14, 2013, 09:08 AM
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FB - those are mean things to say.
I wonder what the circumstances were for them? Is that exactly what was said? Sometimes I hear things to be mean when they aren't meant that way. I am not saying that t didn't say these things, I am just thinking how awful they are to say. You don't need to be sweet or endearing for therapy. I think you should be able to be you.
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never mind... |
| Fuzzybear
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#13
May 14, 2013, 10:16 AM
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ick. He sux FuzzyBear. I am sorry you had to endure him.
I had a t think I was demon possessed and suggest an exorcism.  So I get the hang up with subsequent t's.
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never mind... |
| Fuzzybear
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#14
May 14, 2013, 10:26 AM
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thanks, I deleted it but appreciate your reply.
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#15
May 14, 2013, 10:31 AM
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Thanks everyone for your replies. As I said (in a longer post I deleted) this has made it much harder for me to trust subsequent t's. Grrrrrr
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| rainbow8
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#16
May 14, 2013, 10:47 AM
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Fuzzy, I'm so sorry those so called "professionals" talked to you like that. THEY should be in therapy to learn how to talk to clients/patients!!!! Do you have a T you like now? I can understand how trusting would be hard for you.
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| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#17
May 14, 2013, 10:52 AM
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I think it's worth considering the context of how they said it. For example, I could tell you my T said I was manipulating him, and you might think that was mean.
But actually we had a long conversation about my concept of manipulating people and how it's actually okay to try to get someone to fulfill my needs, and if I'm manipulating him into doing something by asking for an extra session when I'm in crisis then that's actually okay. |
| Fuzzybear
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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