Is it possible to do EMDR and NOT talk through the incident? In one EMDR session I thought about the incident but couldn't say what I was thinking as thinking about it made me feel a bit sick. After the session I felt my T was chastising me for not talking out loud. I then shutdown.
Well, now I need to do the EMDR work again, and I'm ambivalent towards it, I know I need to it, but I can't even say s****l abuse. I can say abuse and abuser but can't put THAT word with it. Let alone descriptions of it.

[content30]

So, I am not trained in EMDR and am no expert. My T does EMDR and has done it with me. I have found it very helpful. However, I'm not sure how helpful it can actually be if you do not really say what you are thinking. I think that is a big part of the brain correctly processing it. I would ask your T...

Thats what I thought. Not really happy to do this. I hate this this is my third attempt at it.

[pattijane]

One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you likely were not during past events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory.

I'm a therapist who uses EMDR as my primary treatment psychotherapy and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR (certified by the EMDR International Assoc. and trained by the EMDR Inst, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR successfully with panic disorders, single incident trauma and complex/chronic PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams and more...

It's really crucial that the therapist spends enough time in one of the initial phases (Phase 2) in EMDR that involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. So if you start feeling overwhelmed or that it's too intense, you can ground yourself (with your therapist's help in session, and on your own between sessions) and feel safe enough to continue the work.

Grounding exercises are indispensable in everyday life, and really essential in stressful times. Anyone can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also teaches readers lots of helpful techniques that can be used immediately and that are also used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

As I’ve mentioned about Phase 2, during EMDR therapy you learn coping strategies and self-soothing techniques that you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. You learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and ask you to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to neutralize bad life experiences and build resources. Your therapist is there to guide and facilitate - NEVER to chastise or criticize!!

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions. Your therapist should be using a variety of techniques to make painful processing less painful, like suggesting you turn the scene in your mind to black and white, lower the volume, or, erect a bullet-proof glass wall between you and the painful scene, or, imagine the abuser speaking in a Donald Duck voice... and so forth. There are a lot of these kinds of "interventions" that ease the processing. They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective). Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapist questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.

Don't "throw the baby out with the bathwater" - As noted in the American Psychiatric Association Practice Guidelines (2004, p.18), in EMDR “traumatic material need not be verbalized; instead, patients are directed to think about their traumatic experiences without having to discuss them.” This is why it's so successful with combat vets or ANYONE who doesn't want to verbalize. Help your therapist make EMDR work for you!!

[refika]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Is it possible to do EMDR and NOT talk through the incident? In one EMDR session I thought about the incident but couldn't say what I was thinking as thinking about it made me feel a bit sick. After the session I felt my T was chastising me for not talking out loud. I then shutdown.
Well, now I need to do the EMDR work again, and I'm ambivalent towards it, I know I need to it, but I can't even say s****l abuse. I can say abuse and abuser but can't put THAT word with it. Let alone descriptions of it.

It may be that you aren't completely ready to do EMDR. I would definitely talk to your T about your ability to verbalize your trauma before continuing with EMDR.

I suffer from a great deal of trauma as well, including one of the abuses you mentioned above. When I first started seeing my T, he mentioned how EMDR could be helpful for me and we started working on the earlier phases. We are currently in the phase of teaching me my safe place and "installing" that with me.

I asked T at my recent session when we would move forward to the bilateral stimulation. He said not for a while, a very long while. He mentioned that I would need to be emotionally stable with talking about the traumas before reprocessing those memories. I have a LOT of trouble saying the words you mentioned above, and I can barely say the "r" word. If I even think about talking about what happened to me to my T I get panic attacks and I start to lose it emotionally.

I would definitely talk to your T and bring up to them your difficulties mentioning certain words and verbalizing what you are feeling. Maybe take a break from EMDR for a bit and let things calm down, continue with talk therapy, and revisit it in the future.

*HUGS* and hang in there...

Originally Posted by refika

It may be that you aren't completely ready to do EMDR. I would definitely talk to your T about your ability to verbalize your trauma before continuing with EMDR.

I suffer from a great deal of trauma as well, including one of the abuses you mentioned above. When I first started seeing my T, he mentioned how EMDR could be helpful for me and we started working on the earlier phases. We are currently in the phase of teaching me my safe place and "installing" that with me.

I asked T at my recent session when we would move forward to the bilateral stimulation. He said not for a while, a very long while. He mentioned that I would need to be emotionally stable with talking about the traumas before reprocessing those memories. I have a LOT of trouble saying the words you mentioned above, and I can barely say the "r" word. If I even think about talking about what happened to me to my T I get panic attacks and I start to lose it emotionally.

I would definitely talk to your T and bring up to them your difficulties mentioning certain words and verbalizing what you are feeling. Maybe take a break from EMDR for a bit and let things calm down, continue with talk therapy, and revisit it in the future.

*HUGS* and hang in there...

EMDR was something I jumped at as way to speed up the process. I was the one pushing to go faster, but keep tripping over my own feet. I really need to get through this as...you know I just had a thought what is the great rush to do this work, its not as if I'm in an intimate relationship anymore, maybe I should work on something else.

[Sunne]

I had a hard time with EMDR too! I felt like I wasn't doing it 'right' and was judgmental of the process. I was able to express a lot of body memories but it's the questions "What do you notice now?" And I feel like there has to be an answer, and sometimes there's just not.

I think the T likes to have a dialogue so they know where you are, your distress level, and what is going on inside you.

It's possible you were not ready for it yet.. like another poster said. You could try talking a bit about it before the EMDR? It could be making you feel pressured..

[Moodswing]

EMDR is saving my life but my therapist is also incredibly nurturing always encouraging me to reach out to him-which I am not used to.

[Moodswing]

EMDR is saving my life but my therapist is also incredibly nurturing always encouraging me to reach out to him-which I am not used to.

[Moodswing]

EMDR is saving my life but my therapist is also incredibly nurturing always encouraging me to reach out to him-which I am not used to.

[rainbow8]

When we used to do EMDR, my T told me I did NOT have to tell her what I'm thinking each time. She said it would work anyway.

pattijane, thank you for such an excellent overview of EMDR. My T always went slowly and did the things you wrote about. We stopped doing EMDR, however, when she leaned SE. She said I got too "lost in the past" when we did EMDR. I always closed my eyes because we used headphones and tappers. But she says SE is similar to EMDR in the way it works to change my brain.

[ThisWayOut]

I did emdr a few times and never spoke the memories out loud, just a few feeling words. Most of it was fine silently. I was totally unable to speak during one part, but my t never pushed verbalizing anything.