[herethennow]

They say therapy is about you. That you're the main focus. But I find that every time I walk into the room I'm very aimless. I don't know what I want to do, and I leave everything into her hands. Whatever she suggests, I'd go with the flow and just shrug it. Like if she asks me to make a choice, I'd go "hm... I'm not sure."

I do, occasionally, have some direction for some sessions. But usually I'm aimless and when asked "how is the therapy session?" I'd just shrug.

Anyone else like this? D:
Should I be more assertive or is it ok to be aimless in therapy?

[THE16THDOCTOR]

How long have you been in therapy w this therapist?

[herethennow]

around 8 months? :/

[Freewilled]

I'm kinda like that too - definitely when he asks me how I experienced the session at the end. I'm like um....fine. I mean, I don't know what to say there. It usually is just fine. But I notice I often have different reactions much later and have to revisit it the next time. I wish I didn't have that delay /:

[wotchermuggle]

That is how I usually go into sessions like. My T will not pick a topic though. I eventually bring up stuff that's important in some way or another. Just start talking and things will flow!

[likelife]

Is it really about being nonchalant, or is there something else operating in the background? I could see aimlessness being a result of ambivalence about therapy, anxiety, uncertainty, a habit of deferring to authority figures, etc.

Does it feel like you're benefiting from therapy? Or are you having a hard time determining that?

[herethennow]

likelife, i'm having a hard time determining that actually. there are some sessions that i feel like i've learning something new to help with my situation, but there are times i go out of therapy going "???????" and being more aimless..

i guess it is my character. i like a direction and going into a session without any sense of what i really want to do most of the time is making me feel down..

[Perna]

Originally Posted by herethennow

i like a direction and going into a session without any sense of what i really want to do most of the time is making me feel down..

Well, since it is your therapy, your T can't very well set the direction? She can't know. I would pick one and go toward it? Like wotchermuggle says, just pick something and it will be significant enough. Or, start keeping a diary if you can't remember what you do/think/feel day-to-day so you can grab a thought or issue you uncover from there.

[herethennow]

Originally Posted by Perna

Well, since it is your therapy, your T can't very well set the direction? She can't know. I would pick one and go toward it? Like wotchermuggle says, just pick something and it will be significant enough. Or, start keeping a diary if you can't remember what you do/think/feel day-to-day so you can grab a thought or issue you uncover from there.

i tried the diary thing but when i go into the room my whole head goes blank and i'll feel frustrated and that starts the downward spiral.

the thing about my T is that she urm has an agenda everytime i go into therapy so in the end i'll follow her agenda. but at times i do feel like i'm just going with the flow and i don't know why i feel so bothered about it.

[likelife]

Originally Posted by herethennow

likelife, i'm having a hard time determining that actually. there are some sessions that i feel like i've learning something new to help with my situation, but there are times i go out of therapy going "???????" and being more aimless..

i guess it is my character. i like a direction and going into a session without any sense of what i really want to do most of the time is making me feel down..

Could this maybe be a conversation you have with your therapist- explicitly asking her to help you develop some large-scale direction (i.e., goals), from which you could extrapolate direction for each session?

Originally Posted by herethennow

i tried the diary thing but when i go into the room my whole head goes blank and i'll feel frustrated and that starts the downward spiral.

the thing about my T is that she urm has an agenda everytime i go into therapy so in the end i'll follow her agenda. but at times i do feel like i'm just going with the flow and i don't know why i feel so bothered about it.

Perhaps handing what you write to your T at the beginning of the session would help? I understand the mind going blank phenomenon - it happens to me often. I think it's important for your T to know that you get kind of lost and then feel frustrated.

[herethennow]

i did goal setting with her and we're working on one of the goals i want to achieve.. but whenever i go out of the room i'll start to question myself "is that useful to helping lift my mood?"

my T does not like me giving things to read. she had me agreeing that "we would talk" and that just makes me stuck... (that includes reading off a paper!)

[likelife]

Originally Posted by herethennow

i did goal setting with her and we're working on one of the goals i want to achieve.. but whenever i go out of the room i'll start to question myself "is that useful to helping lift my mood?"

my T does not like me giving things to read. she had me agreeing that "we would talk" and that just makes me stuck... (that includes reading off a paper!)

Hm, that seems like a pretty narrow approach. It can be difficult to talk about all kinds of things, and it seems it would be helpful to have alternate ways to bring up topics, rather than always needing to talk face to face about them. I can see why you'd feel aimless. I'm sorry your T doesn't seem to understand how you're struggling.