Does anyone else do this and is it intrusive?

I have myself on invisible because I used to be embarrassed for people to know how much time I spend here. I don't care if they see what I'm looking at.

I don't have a constant desire for people to pay attention to me. I just don't like to be ignored or rejected. Aha! I just realized it's a cognitive distortion. Just because people don't immediately respond to my threads, or maybe don't ever respond, it doesn't mean I'm being ignored or rejected. I know many people seem to be interested in reading my threads. Sometimes I wonder why.

I always wanted to be an actress so I could get attention, or at least I think that's why it was my fantasy. You know: Sally Field accepting the academy award and saying "You LIKE me. You really LIKE me!" I cried when I heard her say that! Of course Hankster and a few others may be the only ones who remember seeing it on TV. I also happen to admire Sally Field very much. Sorry for rambling! I appreciate your reply, MKAC. I KNOW that some people DO think it's intrusive, so I'm glad you came forth and were honest.

No, I didn't post this to be inflammatory. Honest! I've been curious for awhile, and wanted to see how "abnormal" I am. I'm using radical acceptance more, and being aware of my issues so that I can change what I can. No, I hate "bad" attention. I'm satisfied with the answers here. I realize it's a problem that I need to address again in my therapy and in DBT. This thread has been useful for me. No one likes to see the yukky parts of themselves, but I'm gritting my teeth (and my stomach hurts) but I'm doing it, and am not sorry, and not resentful.

Yes, and that ties in with not being able to quit T. This is all my core issue, and yes, it IS painful to me but I am not turning away. I am here!

I am glad you know this now!! Maybe knowing that will help with some of the compulsive checking.

P.S. I remember the Sally Field speech.

I don't think it is intrusive. Why go to such lengths to look for things to criticize yourself about? Doing it does not hurt anyone, the forum allows it, no one knows you are doing it.

Yes, I guess that is part of what I'm curious about: why TELL people that you do that? When the person was doing it with me, I could not fathom why they would TELL me about it.

I can understanding wanting to ask this question. You've admitted in the past that you haven't had a good understanding of what is generally acceptable in the way of boundaries, so I admire the fact that you are curious about this and that you took the risk in asking about it.

I didn't know that feature existed, and I am not sure I even know how to access it. But it's not a tool that would help meet a need that I have in the moment. That's the part worth figuring out - and by exploring it, you're doing just that.

maybe i am misunderstanding this rain. what do you need to use radical acceptance about .and why are you saying now it is a problem?? i must be misunderstanding it .i dont see anyone saying it is a problem or abnormal for you to be looking at who is looking at your posts everyone said that they dont see it as intrusive excet maybe 1 person .it seems you got your answer, most dont mind at all,so why are you saying it is a problem.??? i dont think it is intrusive if someone wants to know what i am looking at or what posts i am interested in

It's not a feature to access. It's the list of "currently active users" at the bottom of any forums page. When you click on a name, it shows where that person is, or where they were, on the forum.

Thanks, granite. I don't see anyone else admitting that they do it, which makes me think it IS abnormal. It's not such a big deal to me, but it makes me feel weird if no one else thinks of doing it. I'll talk to my T about it. It does seem a little intrusive to me, or I wouldn't have brought it up.

I started the thread because I'm at a point now where I can accept criticism, and I wanted to know if this is another aspect of my crossing boundaries. I wanted to know if any others clicked on those names too. I remember finding it out by accident the first time I did it. I tell because to me it's not a big deal. I see if someone's posting or reading my threads, or maybe how busy the Couch is, LOL. It's not a big deal at all. It's not a secret. I wonder why PC has it that way, so people can see where others are. I would never bother people with PMS if they told me not to. Like I said, I think I'll bring it up in therapy, and talk about why I do it. I think it's another obsession like googling, but it's harmless.

So I think everyone should get back to the "do you wear shorts" thread now!! Joke.

I have trying to figure out what you are describing that you are doing. When I click on a person in the list of "currently active users", it takes me to their profile page, and that tells me that they are "currently viewing Psychotherapy forum". It does not say which thread they are in, or at least this one didn't.

So you are just clicking on people's profiles, which are also clickable from any post they make. What's intrusive about that? Nothing, IMO.

It's a common feature of message board software, not anything special about PC.

You might get more benefit if you'd use these occasions to look inward, rather than outward. Rather than backpeddle ("it's not a big deal!"), or minimize ("it doesn't take long"), or rationalize ("PC has it that way), as soon as you get some responses that question any deeper meaning to your behavior, try examining your own motivation behind the behavior.

It doesn't matter what anyone else does or doesn't do; even if someone does the same action, that doesn't mean it "proves" it is, or is not, problematic because everyone has a different motivation for their behavior. What matters for you is your motivation.

Wait...googling your t is bad? I would never even start seeing a t without googling them first to make sure they're not crazier than I am.