Couch 52 - Are you being served?

No need to apologise.

COOL WHIP and chocolate mint biscuits over here, come and get them.

Everyone must be busy. Have a good day everyone.

@Mastodon:

I'm sorry I triggered you.
Do you want to talk about it?

Morning. It's another yucky raining day here in New England. My eyes are swollen this morning, the mold count must be high. Wondering when we are going to see that big yellow thing in the sky again.

I have to go to a wake tonight. Ugh. These things are so dang hard for me. I can't handle seeing a corpse, it will put me in a spiral for days. I get that they are hard for everyone, and I am not trying to be a whining baby, but death really, really freaks me out badly. I don't know what to do. Plus I don't have any dress slacks that fit me right now. Grrrr.

Thanks, CE. It did help.

Wow, wiki, that would be hard for me too, I think. We don't have wakes here, but I don't think I would deal well with having to view a dead person in a public setting.

I have some more thoughts on this but don't know how difficult it is for you to discuss this so I'll just say that I'm thinking of you.

Hmm. That's something to consider. She's never really been punished for anything - most times, there's been no reason for punishment. I need to figure out how to respond differently to her when she acts all teen-butt-like - in a way where she can receive it, understand it and want to help as opposed to acting like I'm ruining her life by asking her to take out the recycle.

((( wiki )))

Can you go and not actually approach the body? Maybe focus on the idea that there may be others there that you would be happy to see (if that's the case)?

I know you've mentioned how hard it is for you to see a corpse. I wish there was some way that you could honor the task without it doing so much harm for you.

Thanks, CE, I really appreciate that.

The thing is that I am talking a lot about my childhood and teenage years in therapy right now and I am reliving those years when I did not dare put a foot wrong at home. Those years when my mother would tell me how much she dreaded the day when I would rebel like my sisters did in their teens, and when I reacted by never daring to say anything remotely negative at all, and learnt to hide any feeling that was not positive. And I was upset, even then, by people talking about "teens" or "young people" like a homogenous mass of people without individuality; in particular when they mentioned teen rebellion. Because I did not rebel, I was held up as a model kid. Did that mean I was not in fact a teen, since all teens rebel? (Similarly: Does the fact that I wear no makeup and am bored to tears by shopping make me less of a woman?)

So you see that this is my own stuff, and I am old enough to take a throwaway comment from a friend without overreacting like I did. I erased my comment because I didn't want to sound smug, but since I was on my phone I hadn't seen on the small screen that you had already responded.

Thanks again for asking.

do you accually have to go view the corpse wiki. maybe it would be better if you just go and stay in the back of the room or something .

Good morning, couch peeps...

Woke up feeling much better than last night. Whew. My aunt and cousin are not coming over tomorrow so it buys me a couple more days to get more cleaning done. They decided to go to my niece's softball games and then go to my sister's house instead.

My daughter's last day of school is Tuesday - and half days starting today. I'm a bit anxious about the idea of not having any privacy or ME time at all....with how anxious and crazy I feel at times, I need my alone time.

Thanks for the support.

Wow Apt, that is cool that you don't have them. I don't want to offend anyone, but it's a gruesome custom. Carrying the dead around from place to place, offering a "final visitation". Memorial services are so much better, or life celebrations. When I saw Pope John Paul's procession on TV I was "off" for a week.

wow mastodon to that my T would probably say .when things are right kids act right. i think most kids do rebel to some degree.it is a way of learning healthy separation from adults and a sense of Independence. it must have been awful to be so terrified of stepping out of line in your family.parents are suppose to give us the space to make mistakes and learn we can handle them and life will be OK.that we can get angry and the world will not fall apart

I know the family very well, I knew the deceased fairly well also. I don't know how I can offer condolences from the back of the room, as the family always stands near the casket. He was 89, so it's not a sudden tragic thing, so that makes it a bit easier. It's just "seeing" that freaks me out. Times like this I wish I hadn't thrown all my benzos away last year. I have muscle relaxers, I wonder if those would help? Maybe a few glasses of wine? I don't want to smell like a bar though.

wiki that is what i want when i go. no wake or funeral. i know how much i hate them and never want to go to them. it is ridiculous .no memorial either. party all the way

Mast...I am sorry you had so much pressure to be perfect. My kids didn't really rebel, they sassed me a bit at times, but they never got into any kind of trouble. The worst thing my son did was stock up on computer keyboards. I used to remove the keyboard from his PC until his homework and chores were done. He always had a spare one hidden away...lol. They were good healthy teenagers, with social lives and decent grades, but they never got drunk or smoked or experimented with drugs.

Wiki, do you know how your body reacts to muscle relaxers? Depending on the type, I sometimes get very, very groggy.

My daughter and I have a really good relationship most of the time. And she is an awesome kid. She grew up too fast though. Some of my friends who have met her have said that she behaves more like an adult - and that she's a mini-me. She's respectful, affectionate and caring. Fun, funny and witty. Very well rounded.

I can't seem to tolerate her attitude, at times, though. I need to work on that because as the adult I need to have better control over how I react to her. Maybe if I react to her with calmness, love and understanding it will go over better than if I react with attitude. LOL.

I've always worried about how she may have been affected by the time that her dad and I were married. There was a lot of chaos and tension in the house. With his OCD, she wasn't permitted to play with toys, have friends over. She was very, very tense. He moved out when she was 7, and then a sense of much needed calm came into this house. I am hoping our marriage didn't screw her up too much.

I just realized that I will have to meet H there, so no intoxicants because I have to drive. Grrr. I guess I'll have to use skills.

I thought I missed out on being a rebellious teen, but in retrospect I realise that I did rebel, just not in public like other teens did.

I didn't drink or smoke or do drugs or stay out late. But at home I screamed and sulked and misbehaved,

Would it be worth $140 to tell Madame T why she’s not worth $140? I don’t think so.

How are things going with your new T, CE? Is he likable? Are you starting to feel comfortable with him?

I wouldn't think so either.
Joke: Buy 70 postcards (I assume you might get a card and a stamp for $2?) and send her one a day for 70 days, with different reasons why she's not worth $140.

Waiting for this book to come out: The Secret Museum: Some Treasures Are Too Precious to Display...: Molly Oldfield: 9781770852570: Amazon.com: Books
I really think it's a cool one.