[mylifeart]

this therapist will just never be good enough for me. I mean she is nice she stuck by me when I was mean to her, and she took me back when I was trying to make her give me to someone else.. why?? idk... with my disorder they are suppose to try n form some sord of attachment, I just cannot get attached to her. idk y, but I really wish I could so I could get rid of my last attachment. . its like my mind wont let her in. I mean is it only certain people. well that tells me I am not desperate for someone to cling onto.. I am not even sure if I need that, I got people in my life I can do that with... why did I get so attached last time??? who flippin knows.
I watched this video its called The Way to Happiness, L. Ron Hubbard... its really good its helping me in a lot of ways... a lot of you have similar feelings as I do for my last therapist. and I thought the whole forum might find it useful . . just dealing with life on lifes terms in general.
anyways.. i am wondering if i got to form an attachment with my therapist for my treatment to work since part of my disorder is an attachment problems.

[archipelago]

It sounds like you answered yourself. If you have issues with attachment then attachment will be an issue in therapy. There are no rules about this. It's just what you make of it. I have found that my attachments vary based on the therapist. I do have needs, but therapists express themselves and their willingness to engage differently so I have responded to the person not to something in general.

[wotchermuggle]

If you subscribe to CBT, then I'd think no, since it's usually very short and not based on the relationship....and it's apparently a successful type of therapy for some people.

[mylifeart]

for me its like the last attachment was based on the way my therapist looks. she reminded me of my own mother... like blonde women seem to be more understanding and more relating to me. . its just me i guess its probally something to do with how my whole life my blonde hair was praised by family members.. idk.. this therapist does not have blonde hair.. the last attachement i had killed me. i mean i just don't know if its going to be a good thing to not attach myself to her and be okay, an beable to to enclose to her what i need to.. or express myself, when she don't seem that important to me.. i mean therapy is important but it feels less important because of her... i guess i don't know if i can attach myself to her if i needed to! or that's something that comes from her that attaches myself to her. whatever it is its not happening, and i know she is trying hard for me to stay in therapy and continue with her i just do not know if its going to be possible if i cannot attach.
i mean attachment does no got to be like the last attachment, but to feel something like she is important to me cuz i thin i do need to resolve the issues..
i mean can it happen this late. or like the last time it happened right away.

[mylifeart]

what about cbt and dbt mixed. both of them..
she said its going to take a while, but both cbt and dbt and something else she said.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by mylifeart

what about cbt and dbt mixed. both of them..
she said its going to take a while, but both cbt and dbt and something else she said.

I'd still say no, you don't need to attach to a therapist. These types of therapy are basically skills training.

For psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapy, then yes.

[WikidPissah]

No. I don't really attach to T's. Just blessed I guess!

[boredporcupine]

I would say that in order to resolve attachment issues, you have to resolve them in the context of a relationship (or more than one). It's like if your problem is you don't know how to drive right, you can't fix the problem without getting in a car! However, there's more than one way people work through those things. Some people attach to their T's right away. Some people take years to form an attachment to their T's. Some people never attach to a T but resolve attachment issues by talking through their other relationships with a T. Some people even work out their some of their attachment issues in group therapy or even equine-assisted therapy. And some people can't tolerate doing relational work in therapy until after they have had some skills training such as DBT to learn to manage the feelings that come up.

I would say if what you're doing now in therapy is helping you, why not continue with it for a while and see where you are in a few months or so?