Does anyone else find themselves doing this?

It's definitely in an affectionate way, not to be at all mean, but I delight in teasing/gently poking fun at T. 'Tormenting' her (as my grandma would have said). I remember being called a 'torment' when I was little - but it has been seemingly incongruent with my character for a long time now.. maybe at some stage it was deemed unacceptable and I stopped. So, with T.. mischievous inner child coming out?! Thoughts?

[likelife]

Seems like a sweet way to express affection, like you said. There's a certain level of mutual comfort that's implied in being able to do the "tormenting," and to have your T receive it well. I would also think that there needs to be a good deal of trust in the relationship to be able to engage in "tormenting."

[Mapleton]

Torment, to me at least, indicates causing genuine suffering. That really doesn't seem to be the case here.

[unaluna]

We're most ourselves when we're tormenting, aren't we? We also share our torments. That's how this week has been for me. Im trying not to sink into despair because the family called. I keep trying to do really good things instead. And laugh at the torment and see how far ive come since the last time they called.

Yes I do. Play is an important part of a relationship. But not just that. T says that is the 'better' relationship I had growing up with my father that I bring into the room. We have many experiences that we 'show' by acting them out in therapy.

Can you give some examples?

When I'm stuck in the relationship dynamics I had with my mother, I feel T is getting pleasure from hurting me (that's not whats happening) & I begin to 'fight' back.
When I'm in the dynamic I had with my father I tease T. I with humour twist things she says. It's hard for me to be serious.
Just last session I said I was going on a trip where a lot elderly people will be. I added with tongue in cheek "like yourself".

Does lapdancing count?

[pbutton]

My favorite moments in my sessions are when T and I tease one another.

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Yes I do. Play is an important part of a relationship. But not just that. T says that is the 'better' relationship I had growing up with my father that I bring into the room. We have many experiences that we 'show' by acting them out in therapy.

This makes sense, thank you

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Does lapdancing count?

Lol... probably not, no...

[tinyrabbit]

How d'you define torment? My T and I joke around quite a lot.

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Can you give some examples?

It's hard to give specific examples...

Mostly I guess it would be my reflecting things back at her for comic effect - like one time she used capitals to emphasise particular words in an email, so in my reply I did the same thing but in a way that was really goofy...

Sometimes I'll reflect therapeutic tools/techniques back to her but with a cynical twist...

Sometimes I make out like she's a tyrant or a tough taskmaster - and not just toward me...

I play on it if she ever forgets to hug me...

I'll play on her forgetting anything..

I'll make like her motives are different/deeper than what they were...

I once accused her of voodoo...

I don't think a lot of it would make sense to anyone else without giving a lot of context..

ETA: T does seem to find it all in good fun Sometimes she will tease me, too.. (carefully! She knows I can be sensitive..)

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

How d'you define torment? My T and I joke around quite a lot.

That's good Yup, joking around.. I guess by torment I mean a little more like 'winding up' T, teasing, being mischievous...

I just wondered about others' experiences. I guess I wondered at my motives for seeking out these opportunities. It does seem quite childlike on my part at times.. I wonder if it is just 'play', or some way of testing or pushing boundaries, and/or...

It does remind me of one childhood memory (and I don't consider myself to have a LOT of childhood memories) ... Mum (who didn't tend to have the patience to be playful with me, and would often accuse me of winding her up - as a bad thing, when I in fact was not - I wouldn't dare) used to get her hair done at home by a mobile hairdresser. This was when I was very small. I was fond of the hairdresser, an older lady who seemed like a lot of fun. As she would be moving around the chair where my mum sat, cutting hair, I would be crawling around her feet, following her, picking the hair up and placing it on the toes of her shoes. She would respond by laughing and squealing in mock horror at the hair on her shoes, which I would find hilarious and so would do it again and again... I imagine I drove the poor woman to distraction!

[unaluna]

I would say, until you finally feel "seen" enough. Like after so many years of t helping me on with my coat, after no one in my family ever seeing me or thinking I was special enough to help on with het coat. Or nice enough. Seems like something along those lines.

[tinyrabbit]

You sound fun, and funny. All of this is good rapport-building with your T. And laughter is really good for you.

[mandazzle]

I tease my T probably every time I see her haha. I am known at the center I go to for poking fun at all the therapists. T does a little bit of teasing me too and I think it creates a stronger therapeutic bond. I always say you know you have a genuine friend if you are able to make fun of each other. Personally I believe that therapy doesn't have to be serious 100% of the time.

[WikidPissah]

If I don't tease a person, it's usually because I don't like them. I did used to tease XT a bit, it was fun.

[pbutton]

Yes, if I tease you, it means I like you. For sure.

[Miswimmy1]

I am the queen of testing my t. With old t, there were many instances where I felt bad for acting or saying things i did, but I just *had to know* if she would stay by me, not abandon me, etc. She never did. Its a strange feeling because I feel satisfied that she passed the "test" and then guilty for doing it in the first place, since obviously, she was not going to abandon me.

As for teasing and being playful, we have a quite casual relationship. We tease each other all the time. For fun.

My t and i love to tease each other.

[stopdog]

My experience with therapists thinking they can or know how to play with clients has not been positive and did not serve to create a bond.
Therapists are not trustworthy with such in my experience.