Home Menu

Menu


View Poll Results: How often do you fight with T
We fight all the time 1 1.69%
We fight all the time
1 1.69%
We fight a lot 5 8.47%
We fight a lot
5 8.47%
We fight a little 11 18.64%
We fight a little
11 18.64%
We never fight 42 71.19%
We never fight
42 71.19%
Voters: 59. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:24 PM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
How often do you fight with T?
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!

advertisement
  #2  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:25 PM
Arethusa's Avatar
Arethusa Arethusa is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,882
do you mean physically or verbally?
  #3  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:33 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,154
Do people get into physical fights with others regardless of therapists or not?
I have never been in a physical fight with anyone. I am not saying that just because I have, then others would not either, just that I would not think physical fighting was usual.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
anilam, Seshat
  #4  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:34 PM
pbutton's Avatar
pbutton pbutton is offline
Oh noes!
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: in a house
Posts: 4,485
I'm nearly certain that any "fighting" is happening on my end only.
Hugs from:
Melody_Bells
Thanks for this!
Melody_Bells
  #5  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:39 PM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
do you mean physically or verbally?
Verbally. I don't think Ts would put up with violence!
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
  #6  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:40 PM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton View Post
I'm nearly certain that any "fighting" is happening on my end only.
How does T respond to that?
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
  #7  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:46 PM
pbutton's Avatar
pbutton pbutton is offline
Oh noes!
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: in a house
Posts: 4,485
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
How does T respond to that?
Pretty much the same way he does everything else. He asks me questions about how I am feeling and we discuss why that may be. He has an amazing ability to not be defensive. It can be unsettling. Definitely takes the wind out of my sails every now and then.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, crazycanbegood
  #8  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 01:50 PM
scorpiosis37's Avatar
scorpiosis37 scorpiosis37 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,302
There have been a coupe of times when I've told T that she misunderstood me or when I've told her that I'm feeling disconnected from her. In those instances, I've simply said to her: "You say you think I'm feeling X, but I'm not, I'm actually feeling Y" or "I brought in this journal entry to show you, which was difficult for me, and you haven't said anything in response. Could you please give me more feedback? This lack of feedback is making me feel like you aren't hearing me." I find that usually resolves the issue pretty quickly, so we've never gotten to the point of "fighting." I would not want to fight with my T.
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, CantExplain
  #9  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 02:31 PM
Anonymous100110
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
We disagree at times, but I don't think of that as fighting by any stretch of the imagination.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #10  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 02:35 PM
tooski's Avatar
tooski tooski is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2012
Location: Western U.S.
Posts: 625
I answered we fight a lot, but that's interpeting "fighting" as me arguing with him, or disagreeing, or getting angry. Early on in therapy I was afraid to speak up and disagree, but now I've gotten bolder. (He's created a Frankenstein! )

It's something I need to learn to do, so it's all good. How I handle it (or don't) and the aftermath is all grist for the mill.

ETA: He never "fights" with me. If he did, that would mean he had lost control, and that *never* happens.
__________________
Resistances crack & true heart's desires break forth. The eruption of a new calling frightens & astounds, shaking the Self to its core.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, tealBumblebee
  #11  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 02:39 PM
FeelTheBurn FeelTheBurn is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: northern california
Posts: 309
The closest I've come to "fighting" were just little ruptures or misattunements. Fortunately, I trust her enough to confront her about it, and she owns what's hers, inquires about my part in it, and we work it through. I find those times to be some of the best, most healing experiences in therapy, because it's a very healthy, open interaction that teaches me that I can relate to someone without fear of rejection.

But then, I'm not a very confrontational person, and I'm not sure she is, either. I'm sure if I was, we'd fight more.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, Leah123, meganmf15
  #12  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 03:15 PM
Leah123's Avatar
Leah123 Leah123 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,593
I have "fought" a few times with my therapist, by which I mean, been offended or upset by something she's said and reacted defensively, angrily, even rudely. She, for her part, has gotten to the point of telling me that the arguing was tiring, at which point we took a break, or in two other cases, that she had apologized as well as she could and did really have anything else to add on a topic.

I find my ptsd probably makes my tendancy to fight a little worse, because stress quickly gets escalated with me to the point where I feel unsafe pretty quickly. It's getting a little better as therapy progresses. It's been five months now, and I think I'm deescalating a little bit, plus she's learning more about me, and misunderstandings are a little less common and severe.
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, CantExplain, FeelTheBurn
  #13  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 03:28 PM
Anonymous37917
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
In three years, I would say we have had one "fight." We had several instances where he hurt my feelings or made me angry, but when I brought it up, he apologized and we were fine. The "fight" was when he kept misunderstanding me over and over, and I got angry because it seemed like he was deliberately twisting what I was saying. I got angry, he got a little angry and a lot defensive, I shouted at him and then started sobbing. I mean really, gut wrenching, couldn't breathe, sobbing. He immediately got really calm and gentle again. Afterwards, he admitted that he was letting his own feelings and anxieties get in the way of really hearing me. So, it was the not hearing me part that made it a fight to me.
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, CantExplain, FeelTheBurn
  #14  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 03:40 PM
Anonymous33425
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I would like to think we don't fight anymore. We had a very bumpy 6 months, about a year into therapy, and during that period there were times I guess you could describe the dynamic as 'fighting'... We seem to be back to being able to disagree or challenge each other without falling out or getting frustrated, though, and discussion feels easier these days
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #15  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 03:47 PM
WikidPissah's Avatar
WikidPissah WikidPissah is offline
Euphie Queen
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 10,718
In 6 years I have never fought with a T. I've gotten angry at times, plenty of times, but I have never actually had an argument with a T. I told xt off by email a month after I terminated. He spoke with my pdoc a few weeks after our last appointment, and I was no longer his client. Pdoc told me what he said, and I emailed him a flaming email telling him that he was no longer my T and thus had no right to talk about me without my consent. (he did not have written consent to talk with pdoc ever...not because I didn't want to give it to him, just because it was never done). I wouldn't consider it a fight...more of a "telling off" lol.
__________________
never mind...
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #16  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 04:38 PM
critterlady's Avatar
critterlady critterlady is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,344
I have never argued with T. We have discussions where we don't necessarily agree and we've talked about my reactions to some things he's said or done, but we never argued about anything. He's infinitely patient (at least he is so far).

When we've talked about things he's said or done, he always either explains it differently or takes responsibility for something he's said that he thinks he should have predicted I would misinterpret.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #17  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 04:59 PM
SkinnySoul's Avatar
SkinnySoul SkinnySoul is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Posts: 283
Pretty much every other session.
It's not much of a *fight* though. More like a verbal intense(jeez!) argument. You know, snide comments going both ways, jokes, weird smart-***** metaphors etc... Talking about tough love over here.
__________________
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime
  #18  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 05:10 PM
sweepy62's Avatar
sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: usa
Posts: 3,642
I get annoyed at her and I tell her like a kid lol
__________________
Bipolar 1
Gad
Ptsd

BPD

ZOLOFT 100
TOPAMAX 400
ABILIFY 10
SYNTHROID 137

Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #19  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 05:21 PM
Syra Syra is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,248
I fought with my exT quite a lot. Lost track of the number of times. And I still didn't leave (I had over two good years in I didn't want to throw away) But she left me, I think because I wasn't coming around to her way of thinking (totally oversimplified but a reasonable one-phrase summary.)

The new T I never fight with. Sometimes I get hurt, or he doesn't like something (related to waiting room protocol) but we never fought about it. We talk and resolve it.
Hugs from:
Anonymous58205
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #20  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 07:14 PM
Anonymous47147
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
T and i yell at each other and fight and tell each other off on occassion. We are both pretty passionate people and sometimes disagree. We always work it out.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #21  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 07:52 PM
wotchermuggle's Avatar
wotchermuggle wotchermuggle is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,612
We disagree and discuss, but we don't "fight" by any means.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #22  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 07:54 PM
Miswimmy1's Avatar
Miswimmy1 Miswimmy1 is offline
~ wingin' it ~
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,791
With my new t, we fight all the time. we have very strong differing opinions on various topics that come up, and we are both not afraid to voice those opinions.

my old t and I never ever fought. we always worked it out before it became an argument.
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #23  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 09:35 PM
1stepatatime's Avatar
1stepatatime 1stepatatime is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
Posts: 1,160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
do you mean physically or verbally?
Lololol
  #24  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 09:42 PM
1stepatatime's Avatar
1stepatatime 1stepatatime is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
Posts: 1,160
We never fight....fighting is not her style...at least not yet.. and I hate fighting. I have no problem speaking up but sometimes I need to process things before I can become really passionate about it. There have been some ruptures...where she says something that I find invalidating or hurtful...I go home process it...bring it up during following session and I always feel better.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #25  
Old Jul 19, 2013, 09:59 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,154
The first one is a constant fight. The second one has not been a fight thus far (same amount of time as seeing the first one just about).
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
Reply
Views: 2515

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:08 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.