[granite1]

how long were you in T before you let your T know you have CSA in your history???

i have yet to be able to tell her that ..don't think i ever will be able to.

[Perna]

One does not have to tell T everything; only what is important to you and that you want to work on. It was my second time of seeing T for 9 years each, maybe T-year 16-17 before I mentioned I was abused by a man of her nationality? Wait until you have had some pleasant surprises where you say something difficult and get an over-the-top wonderful response from T you weren't expecting. My T picked up on the significance of what I vaguely implied and was right there with the "only" right response. Just getting that response from someone almost made the experience worth while (not like I could get rid of the experience, it was mine anyway, no matter what).

[WikidPissah]

T 1 (2 yrs) never told him.
T 2 (2yrs) never told him.
T3 (2 yrs) asked me outright at about the 6 mos mark, and I admitted it.
Frau T (2 mos) asked first session, and I admitted it...she referred me out.
Trauma T (5 mos) knew going in because Frau T told her.

[Raging Quiet]

It took me over 5 years of knowing her. Like you I thought I could never tell her, but I ended up saying that exact sentence and she asked me to write a story about what happened and that's how I finally managed to spill. I haven't revisited it after that though xx xx

First session with all of my T's. It is the root of my depression and shame and PTSD. I knew it was, for me, an absolute necessity if I was going to move through and beyond and forward in my life. All of my T's and pdocs asked point blank if CSA was part of my history in our very first sessions. It was easiest to just be out with it.

[stopdog]

First therapist - about a year in
Second therapist - never
Current one - early because my odd response to it was causing some distress and I was going to be around him. Frankly telling the therapist did nothing as she keeps trying to make it worse for me than it was. Susan Clancy's book is the only thing that has ever helped with how odd I am over it all.

[sweepy62]

Scratched the surface at the 8 month mark

[Sabra]

Originally Posted by granite1

how long were you in T before you let your T know you have CSA in your history???

i have yet to be able to tell her that ..don't think i ever will be able to.

Good morning,

I walked in the T's office spilling my guts. I always had memories of CSA.....big deal. However when an uncle apologized for abusing me from ages 4-6 and I had no memory of it, my world was turned upside down. I couldn't trust anyone bkz I didn't know what else I didn't remember. I have never remembered any abuse by him.

Sabra

[tinyrabbit]

About four months. And we haven't talked details. It's just... there in the room with us.

[suzzie]

right from the start. i had no other reason to be in t.

[refika]

About 2-3 months in, and I didn't bring the subject up directly. T vaguely asked me based on other things I told/was telling him and when I turned into a complete pile of mush, he had his answer. We haven't talked about it since, but it's there and will be addressed soon I'm thinking.

[struggling2]

it came out right away that i suspected something had happened. its why i started going to T.

T1, never. Saw several other T's short term and mentioned that it existed in kind of general terms to one. She promised not to ask me about it and that I could wait to talk about it until I was ready, but then brought it up at one point and wanted me to talk about it. When I reminded her of her promise, she said I was taking "too long" to get there.

Current T, I told him it existed in general pretty early on, as in just said she was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive. We finally talked about it a little more after about a year in. It was over two years before I even hinted at the rest of it.

Oh, and Granite, I told my T the biggest, most secret and shameful (for me) parts of it by email.

[athena.agathon]

I never told my first therapist, in college. This go round, it was six months in, and he guessed. We still have not talked about it, and I don't particularly want to or see the point.

[1stepatatime]

The very first session. I felt it was important because the abuse has played part in very significant relationships. I am just now figuring that out.

[murray]

First T I told after a few months. Her response, in which she told me that it didn't matter and was not worth discussing, filled me with such shame and regret for telling.

Current T, I was afraid to mention it because I thought he would tell me how unimportant it was and I would once again feel shamed. After about a year I hinted at it and he was so wonderful and gentle that I was able to discuss it more with him. So many of my issues go back to that betrayal/abuse that I really needed to work on it in T in order to understand and make changes to help me get healthier emotionally.

[iGottaBme]

I mentioned it to first T early on but did not go into details. He didn't want me to dwell on it so we spent very little time discussing any of it and consequently, nothing got done.

I wrote a detailed description and read it to T2 during the second session. I wanted to be sure that she could hear all of it and handle it. She was amazing about it and still is. A lot of healing has taken place.

[WikidPissah]

I should have mentioned that when I was asked point blank if I'd ever been sexually abused my response was a vague overview. I've never said any more than that to anyone really. I don't need to talk about it, I just needed to admit it.

Everyone is different though. If you just say it, you don't have to talk about it or get into detail. You own that right, not your T.

About 18 months in, I had flashback triggered by something. We have been trying to work on it for the last 18 months, but something is stopping me.

All my T's have asked first session and I was truthful.

[granite1]

my T never asked about anything when i first met with her . she never asked about abuse or anything.never did a real intake either like when they ask you a bunch of questions either .i wonder if it was because she knew i would never answer her at that point. i said very little if anything at all

[WikidPissah]

XT said at one point we needed to discuss my past. I freaked out a bit, and he said "would it be easier for you if I just asked questions?" and I nodded.

Maybe you can tell her somehow that you want to talk about the past but you're stuck, and maybe even ask her if she can ask you questions?

I don't know...it's just a thought.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

My first time in T (125 years ago )... I went 3x a week and was so dissociated I could only stare at her. She was young and terrified of me. I later learned she had wanted to terminate me, but since I never heard what she was saying to me, she might have told me not to come back and I just ignored it. I never "got around" to telling her about CSA though looking back, I'm sure she assumed it was part of my background.

I went back to see her 10 years later (only 115 years ago) and after 8 months stabilizing me, we were finally able to address the huge elephant known as CSA.

Third (current) T took about 6 months, and I've made tons of progress with her.

My point is you're ready when you're ready and not a moment before.

I wish you healing and health
Bub