T can't save me

I don't want the insurance company to contact her with a bill or something.

I wouldn't feel right playing amateur therapist--I don't know you well enough. I am under the impression that self harm often goes hand in hand with bpd but that could be a false notion on my part.

BPD sounds scary but it is considered often a "young person's disease"--most people improve w/time. I was diagnosed at 16 with it but I no longer fit the criteria accord toboth my t's.

I know you are worried about hell breaking loose if she gets a bill. What is the worst thing that could happen? She could call to yell at you. That's what so handy about hanging up.

google is a beautiful thing--

found these links

Free/Cheap psychiatric care in the Boston area? - mentalhealth mental health | Ask MetaFilter

I used this site in general when I was unemployed
http://www.massresources.org/free-clinics.html

http://www.massresources.org/mental-disorders.html

Mental Health

Not all si is bpd
for example see:
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/g...-injury?page=2

google is a beautiful thing--

found these links

Free/Cheap psychiatric care in the Boston area? - mentalhealth mental health | Ask MetaFilter

I used this site in general when I was unemployed
http://www.massresources.org/free-clinics.html

http://www.massresources.org/mental-disorders.html

Mental Health

BPD sounds scary. It does go hand and hand with self harm, but self harm also goes with depression and PTSD. Not all self harm is BPD. Lots of girls my age get diagnosed with that incorrectly. I have abandonment problems too but I don't think they are as extreme as someone with BPD. I have kinda like "episodes" (hate using that word because it isn't right) where I get triggered by something and get very VERY upset. I often post on here while triggered, like I did last night. I'm not really sure you can call it a mood swing because there is a clear cause to the distress. I don't know

Forget that I mentioned bpd--stopdog is right.

My only point was that if there is a hospital out there that serves psych care, there are often free/cheap/or even paying studies. That was my main point. I got derailed with a specific example.

Thank you for so much help. You are so awesome and kind even when I'm obnoxious

I'm sorry I am not so much fun to talk to because I don't make progress and I just come on this site in a disaster state and cause a complete scene. You people must think I'm completely crazy. But it means so much to me that you guys keep talking to me. There are two sides of me. The side that is funny and energetic and then there is the side of me that is self loathing and deeply unhappy. I have to suppress that side of me because people only like me when I'm funny. But I can let the sad part of me talk and you people still seem to care at least a little bit and no one invests that much effort into trying to help me. I'm usually not worth fighting for. No one is in favor of that. Sometimes people just collapse and stuff

I hope this made any sense. I took some ativan and the dose might be a little but too strong. We'll see I guess

Every day you are a little more open to new ideas and that is great. No need to beat up on yourself. Try to continue to cultivate an open mind and seek help from school whenever possible.

lol it's just that I am a little too familiar with Boston's mental health system!

I'm not besting up on myself. Everything is so warm and fuzzy. My bed is this cloud and I am slipping away tonight So nice and no problen

I love that about you that you know Boston stuff and are willing to help. You are so kind

I'll let you get some rest!!! You are too generous--If I feel i can help someone i wouldn't feel right if I didn't at least try. g'night!!!

And you are too not generous with yourself. You are wonderful for trying to help. All of you are wonderful for trying to help me. I think these meds made me kinda high so goodnight

Apologies, I totally missed absorbing what the real issue is, and I can certainly empathize with you on this, because I recently had to stop therapy again because it was triggering and re-traumatizing me TOO much!

On the one hand I feel like a failure, defective, & damaged beyond repair ... But, on the other hand, I think our intuition lets us know when it's important to take a break. I just hope this one doesn't last as long as the last one (3 years).



However, it is imperative that we remain functional so we can go about our daily lives, isn't it?

To me that means putting a lot of unfinished business on hold which means it isn't getting processed which means it's just kinda hanging around like a dark shadow inside my mind.

But I also believe there is stuff we can do outside of IP/OP therapy to help us as well ...

Affirmations For The Inner Child by Rokelle Lerner helped me to learn how to start being patient, gentle & kind with myself:



The Portable Therapist by Susanna McMahon helped me to find answers & meanings to some of the other stuff I was struggling with like life in general, spirituality, and empathy and compassion for self and others:



These both are very simplistic in their presentation so they aren't too overwhelming, yet at the same time they are very profound in the messages they deliver to us regarding learning to love, care and nurture ourselves.

I still utilize them twenty years later, especially when I'm facing flashbacks and other difficulties that seem to want to hang around and cling to my pants leg like a lost kitten or puppy.

Maybe you can find copies of them at your local bookstore and find them helpful as well?

Sometimes we can't do therapy because it's too big and powerful ... That's when I find reading and being here at PC with others sharing the same struggles to be just as helpful and healing in between.

Is it okay I give you a hug?



And, again, my apologies for missing the bigger picture!

Thank you for the resources and thank you for the hug. No worries about the confusion in issues. I wasn't totally clear.

Eek sorry. I get a little bit affectionate when I'm on my meds. The dose might have been a bit too high because I don't think I'm supposed to be that goofy...

But I made it through the night. I haven't SHed in 4 days.

Good job growlithing! Be sure to tell T.

4 days is A LOT-congrats!!!!

Thanks guys. I will tell T today. I had rehearsal today and I am finally feeling a little bit more stable. I hope it lasts.

T suggested DBT. I am hesitant.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

What do you see as the pros and cons about DBT?

It just sounds cheesy, time consuming, and I highly doubt it will actually work. I'm also scared of group therapy even if it is in a class like format. I'm probably not giving it enough of a chance

What is the worst that can happen if you try it? It is a waste of time? What is the upside, feeling less SUI and less SI?

The upside, from here anyways, looks better than the downside.
If school is offering it--take it!!

If you were to pay out of pocket it , one 6 month stint is about $2500. I know because I was considering it, still am. So if you have the opportunity to do it on the cheap or free, don't pass it up.

Hate to tell you this, but that sounds like another excuse. Perhaps you need to get out of your "comfort zone" and try something that challenges your perspective.