Moving on

It is really hard to not see my t who I just terminated with after 11 years. I am obsessed with needing her. I'm now seeing my cbt t who I've seen for a couple months for social anxiety. I am getting attached to him but I am hoping it won't get out of control because he is a cbt guy and doesn't do anything outside of session etc. will I just be able to do productive therapy with him with this transference stuff taking over. My guess is that he doesn't even deal with those feelings and I'd probably not tell him about them. Nothing good came of it from my first t. It is so weird how real and intense these feelings are.

I find it difficult to understand how your T of 11 YEARS could accept your termination via email and not ask to see you in person. Is that your decision, and did she agree to it? I strongly urge you to make an appointment with her to have some closure about your therapy. Otherwise, you may find it very hard to move on. I'm sorry you're hurting, but grieving is appropriate when you leave any long-term relationship.

Nerak, my T is CBT, and he does address the transference issues and he does allow contact outside of session. In fact, I think that my T is pretty decent about addressing my emotions about him.

Just because your T2 is primarily CBT does not mean he cannot be like a "real" therapist and deal with everything that you need to deal with.

My T is primariy behaviorally oriented cbt/rebt and is available outside of session as needed. While I don't have transference issues, we are well matched and I feel free to lean on his help and support. I suspect if I did have transference issues, he would be quite equipped to deal with them; he is highly knowledgeable and accommodating to what I need as a client.

Thanks for your feedback with cbt. I really like him but so far we've only talked about distorted thoughts and anxiety and exposures etc but. I have been there strictly for social anxiety. It will be nice if I can expand that.

Yup. She just emailed back saying she agreed. It is really hard for me since I've really cared about her.

That stinks! You deserve so much better.

And I am trying so hard to not be needy with new t. My neediness ruined my relationship with my first t. At first she was great but the more she did the more I wanted until she resented me. I want to do real therapy and not have it all be about me trying to get something I can't. Right now new t really likes me and I want to keep it that way.

I saw a t who treated me like **** much of the time (except when working on the positive transference early on). But this t wasn't as incompetent re termination,

Frankly I'm disgusted.

You should be, too

Ouch! I'm so sorry this was your experience. I'd be reeling if I were in your shoes.