Do you feel that you are your T's favourite?

Yes i do, but i am aware that that means she is doing her job well and doesnt actually mean that i am her favourite.

Not at all and I personally don't think that Therapists should have favorite Clients (they should view all of them the same).

The marriage counselor H and I see consulted with my T at one point. MC later mentioned me being one of my T's favorite clients. I was both happy about that, and also kind of , specially since we were discussing this in front of my H, who really doesn't like my T and is jealous of him.

I have to be truthful, I haven't barely thought about her other clients in 3+ years. I just know that we are very close, she's an excellent T to me, and she would never say that I'm her "favorite" (unprofessional) and I wouldn't want her to. I know that our connection is deep - she's told me that the work we do is deeper than that with others, by virtue of what they/I want to work on. But even if she gives me more of her time and energy (I do know this - we meet 2-3x/week + email), that doesn't necessarily correspond to "favorite." I'm thankful that she would never call me this. Our relationship exists more individually - her other clients aren't a factor.

Not quite all the same. T's deal with many different clients, and they can appreciate and like them in different ways for very different qualities.

I'm a teacher with 90 students. I can honestly say I don't have a "favorite" student, but I like so many of them for different reasons. Some have great sense of humor. Some are wonderful writers. Some have a skilled way of adding insight into discussions in class. Some are such good helpers to other students in class. Etc.

Everyone has very unique qualities and gifts, and a therapist is quite capable of liking a variety of clients for a wide variety of reasons. So it isn't really about who is the favorite. It is about what are your T's favorite qualities about YOU as the individual.

I meant all the same in regards to favoritism (I'm saying that she shouldn't have a favorite).

Sierra

I taught secondary school from 1999 to 2002. I look back on this and remember fondly a number of students, and I still keep in touch with some. But I don't have one favorite, nor did I at the time. And I just taught for 3 years and often the same students in multiple years. When I wrote college recs for some of them, it helped me to reflect on the different, specific aspects of their personality, intellect, being that stood out to me. I loved them for the special people whom they were and have become.

I do think my reaction would be different if my T were to say to me that I am his favorite or one of his favorites -- that would feel weird. T has said he does not have favorites and likes all his clients in unique ways.

I want to be a favorite but then again I want to be my mother's favorite child. I have an issue with not feeling special to anyone. Not healthy but....

I'm going to guess that my T makes every client feel that they are his favourite. It's just his way of relating to people. So, I have no idea if I am, but it doesn't really matter to me. He makes me feel like I'm important to him and that's more than I've received from anyone else in m life.

I think that we all want to feel special, and if our T's can make us feel that way then good for them.

I'd feel a lot of pressure if I were a favorite. I'd much rather blend in. It is a lot less work. This is probably because my dysfunctional family role is Family Hero, which is a LOT of work.

What's SD?

Stopdog?

I often try to be the least demanding of T's time and I try to make good progress. My T has told me that I have a great sense of humor and we laugh together a lot.

I have some sort of teacher's pet syndrome and I want to be the favorite!

I know, however, that I probably go about it the wrong way.

I think of professors who have their favorite students and also have their most satisfying students. Their favorites are the ones who are engaged, sit up front and learn quickly. They show up ready to work and make the professor's work go more smoothly. They are the A students. I am the A student in every area of my life, probably even in therapy.

But the most satisfying students are the C and D students who turn their work around. They might be disengaged initially. They might struggle the most at first. It might take longer to win them over.

But if the professor does help a C or D student become a C+ or B- student, the professor will remember that longer and feel a deeper sense of satisfaction about his or her work than if someone comes in as an A-performer and maintains that and has an easy and quick learning curve.

I think this phenomenon is even more intense with a therapist. A therapist doesn't necessarily want the easiest case load or the easiest clients or the funniest clients. It's progress over time that a T might feel most satisfied about.

Even though I am an "A" performer in therapy -- I try to make the changes T suggests and practice more self care and do more deep breathing -- I also came in deeply distrustful of T and very guarded.

I think my T takes pride in winning my trust, which I am giving slowly. So I guess your specific challenges might make T buck up before your session: "Oh it's this one. This is going to be tough today, I bet." But in the long run, T will take more satisfaction from helping you, and might even try a bit harder and be a bit less lazy than he or she acts for the clients who try to be the easiest or the favorite.

Ramble. Ramble.

Very well said!

No way, and no way would I want to be. I wouldn't see a therapist who overtly had favorite clients - I don't mind if she does in the privacy of her own head, of course. But favoritism makes me very uneasy. I was a favorite of one parent (and that, admittedly, felt great) but I am very bitter and hurt about being dismissed so much by my other parent, and that has led me to always seek equality and never, ever base my relationships on hierarchy. Makes me feel sick.

Ts having fauvorite clients? Sure but I'll bet you it changes ATT.
Ts saying this to the client? Somehow it seems wrong- I would not appreciate to be told even if I was- which I highly doubt. Hope I'm somewhere in the middle- that's where I'd like to be.

In session you should feel like you are priority, not necessarily favorite. I think T's have many "favorites" or "favorite pieces" of clients.

I do think she appreciates me, especially since a few of my qualities are similar to her personality, and at least some of our values are the same. I have also been seeing her fora a long time, longer than I'm sure most if not all of her clients. But favorite? Nah, I don't look at her enough or show my emotions enough to be her favorite. We don't laugh or joke around or always connect. But I agree with everyone else that Ts don't (or shouldn't) have favorites.

No I'm not her favourite, don't care to be. I'm probably one of her least favourite at the moment and that's all good. I'm more concerned with her doing her job properly.

No, I don't feel that I'm my T's favorite. When I used to ask her if she liked me, she said "yes, very much". We talked about my wanting to be special to her. I thought maybe I was more special to her because of certain things we have in common. But she told me she likes all of her clients. I'm sure she tells each one that he or she is special to her. If she has a favorite, she would keep that information to herself. Being special to her, even if all her clients are special too, is good enough for me.

Same here

I have no problem with the concept therapists (or some of them) have clients they like better than others. I have no problem not being one the therapist particularly likes. I usually do not do anything to be particularly endearing when I am at an appointment with a therapist. I pay them to do a specific job which can be performed whether they like me or I like them.

I have had clients in private practice. I have liked some better than others. I wanted to win every case I worked on, whether I liked the client or not. I teach at a university. I have students I like better than others. I have some I dislike. I try to be available and there for all of them for anything having to do with the class and material I am teaching. I enjoy engaging with some of them more than others. I have no problem thinking a therapist or an md or an accountant or so forth might like or enjoy working with some clients better than others.

I don't know about my current T, but I imagine I was special to my former T. It was clear that she definitely cared about me and went above and beyond what was necessary, though all within professional boundaries of course. I think my current T likes me well enough.