Do you understand the phrase "the process"

I really appreciate everyone's responses. It helped me to understand what therapy is all about.

I dislike the phrase, "the process," because it is too vague and sounds almost like a euphemism. The English language is robust and allows for precision, so I don't understand the need to rely upon cloudy language.

In my view, people use imprecise language for a few general reasons:
1) The person is not that knowledgeable about the subject matter and trying to bury that lack of knowledge under a bunch of meaningless words. Academics in touchy-feely fields and new business associates do this a lot.

2) The subject matter itself makes people feel uncomfortable or vulnerable or the subject matter is considered taboo. An example would be saying, "My aunt passed on," or, "Before my aunt passed," rather than saying the direct verb: "My aunt died," or, "Before my aunt died." Euphemisms for sex abound for this precise reason.

I think that "the process" in therapy is used for both reasons.

1) People don't really have more precise language to describe the therapy itself. Or they want to shorten what is happening to a simple word that is vague.

2) "The process," is short for, "the process whereby the client attaches to the therapist and becomes very vulnerable for a period of time." Or it is short for, "the healing process."

If your therapist is saying that you are "fighting" the process, I think that the therapist believes that you are resisting attaching to her in the way that she has been taught that you should attach for your own healing.

Stopdog, you do sound as if you keep the therapist at an arm's length emotionally.

The therapist has learned in school that to help you, she needs to get all up in your emotional business. You're not letting her become like that to you, and you are not making yourself as vulnerable to her as she feels you need to be, and therefore she says that you are fighting the process.

Those are my two cents on a situation of which I understand and know less than 1% about. So grain of salt and yadda yadda disclaimers on my interpretation.

I pity the fool t who tries to get all up in the d's emotional business! Seriously, well put.

That is not why I go to see a therapist. It is not what I am hiring the woman for.

The question was about the process. Peejay explained it very well.

Eta - i just couldnt resist doing a Mr T impression - sorry!

I was not responding to the explanation part - and while I appreciate the response, it sounds awful and I am not sure I agree that is what the woman meant. But perhaps. It is not more comprehensible to me. I don't think all schools of therapy are trained like that. If the woman is, then it will most assuredly fail for that purpose. Luckily I have found other ways to make the woman useful.
And I certainly believe if they can't explain what they mean by a phrase, then they should stop using it.

No doubt it sounds like you'd rather have teeth pulled than attach to your therapist. But they are all taught in school and in their industry conferences that it is the relationship that heals. And attachment theory posits that a deep personal connection is what matters most.

Stop, ask your T her views on attachment theory and the works of Brene Brown. If she's a fan, you have your answer.

I thought I did until I read this thread

The second one I see never says attachment or process and has never mentioned Brene Brown ( I have read the books and watched TED - I love her accent but the content creeps me out. I listen to her to put me to sleep but don't focus on the actual content - just the cadence and accent). Thank goodness I see two of them. Both allegedly psychodynamic but very very different from each other. I have gotten the first to the point where she almost never mentions it anymore. Which I consider a minor success.

I think of the process more like what it takes for me to get from point A to point B. For some things it might be like going down the block for a loaf of bread. At other times it is more like taking a year long road trip from coast to coast. I see myself as the one doing all of the driving and T as the one with the maps. From time to time we run into bad weather or detours.

I think it's what most therapists let themselves be hired for though... eh, I think you know that too though.... sorry

Congratulations

It is not like I haven't told her. I seem to have found two who will.

And thanks.

You're welcome