[DelusionsDaily]

I dont believe any T truly and genuinely cares for a client. They only want you there to make $$$. It's like working in a restaurant as a server, the server only cares about the customer and quality of their food because he wants a good tip otherwise no one in any profession give two kahunas about the people that come into their place of business. There is NO relationship with a T no matter how much you wish it to be once you stop seeing your T, you are merely another name in an old appt book. Atleast that is my take on it.

[Gavinandnikki]

I strongly disagree. You have to find a good fit. Sorry you are hurting so badly right now.

[DelusionsDaily]

Not hurt just really angry I fell for the crock of a profession called psychotherapy. It is bulls**t...all of it.

[caseygirl]

I also disagree. Every profession aims for a paycheck, and for some maybe it's just that. But, choosing this type of work would require someone to at some point want to gain the knowledge to genuinely help people with their problems.

As with all professions, some Ts are better at their jobs than others, and some care more than others. Some Ts don't know what the h*ll they are doing and make things worse, and some are dead on.

Im sorry youve been so hurt that you feel that way. I respectfully disagree.
Just because i receive a paycheck (& not that much of one) doesnt mean that i dont dearly, deeply love the students at my school.i would love them even if i were not paid. I am not paid nearly enough. My heart is not for sale. Theyre just paying for my expertise.not my love.

[pbutton]

I also disagree. I worked as a cashier in high school (back in the early 90's). I still remember some of the regular customers with fondness. I'm not a particularly touchy feely person and I still cared. Most T's have a totally different personality type - I'm sure they're even more invested.

Sometimes the T cares enough to tell us things that we don't want to hear. I hope you're able to find some peace. Sometimes it is hard to see what's in our own best interest.

[DelusionsDaily]

I dont believe they are necessarily out for ones best interests. And I have found lots of peace knowing that I have finally opened my to see the crock that is the "caring" professions ie therapists.

[Jdog123]

I, too, am genuinely sorry that you've been hurt. But I strongly disagree. Three therapists have helped me to change my life--I paid them (my insurance did), but what they gave to me was much more than what was paid to them. Their caring wasn't bounded to 1-2 hours a week, whether or not we had contact outside of sessions. For example, sometimes in session they would tell me that they thought of me when doing x and they came up with an idea to help me with y. So even though I wasn't paying them for their time doing x, they spent their own time thinking about how to help me. I also still keep in touch via email (and even got together once when I was visiting where she lived) with an ex-T - none of this is paid. Their caring is genuine. The reason I share all this is to say that it is possible to find such therapists--they do exist. Over the last decade I've found 3 like this. It wasn't easy, and I had to let them in, but there are wonderful, caring therapists in this world.

[stopdog]

I don't think it matters either way. If you get your money's worth, then what does it matter how the therapist thinks or feels about you? If you don't, then one can and should I believe, find a new therapist.

At least in this country, it's not a well-paid job. I don't believe it's likely that many people would choose to stay in such a challenging and exhausting profession only for the money.

There are certainly uncaring, selfish and plain useless Ts out there, but I don't believe thst the majority are.

I hate that your experiences have been so horribly bad.

[~Christina]

I am also very sorry you are hurting..

I do also strongly disagree... My 1st T just was not a good fit for me there was no connection and to be honest she talked more about herself .. I called the center and complained to the administrator. I was mad hurt pissed off. He scheduled an appointment for me to come in and talk to him ..... I knew within 30 mins that him and I would be a good fit ...

He honestly cares about me and has seen me for free many times ... why ? Because he is a decent human being that can and does care ..It's not all about a paycheck. Trust me they really aren't living in mansions off there paychecks they receive.

I hope you find a good therapist that you have a connection with .. It's amazing .

[feralkittymom]

You know, part of growing up is realizing that it takes two people to have a relationship. Each has responsibility to make the relationship work. (Before anyone goes ballistic, I am excluding those who are incompetent or abusers in my generalization!)

[A Red Panda]

My T doesn't see me as a paycheque. I don't pay to see him. It's covered here.

He certainly doesn't see his job as just a paycheque as he definitely has a lot of tricky clients in this town.

I think it's similar to teachers - we are not in the job for the money, we're in the job for the people. Sometimes they just get jaded along the way.

You shouldn't judge a whole group of people based on one experience.

[mandazzle]

I disagree as well. I know my T cares about me, otherwise she wouldn't have done all that she has done for me.

I am not in school to be a therapist for the money. I am in school to be a therapist because I care about people and want to help people.

Ask 1,000 Ts why they chose the career they did, and I guarantee not one of them will say for the money.

[stopdog]

I think it is a bit off to say someone does not do their job for the money. Of course it is being done for some money. And some people choose to do jobs they like (teaching) which pay less than other jobs, but teachers (for example) do complain about salaries, look forward to retirement, try to get more money through union contracts and so forth. I don't know any teacher who would do it for NO money. I don't know of a therapist who would therapize for NO money either. I am not saying they should work for no money. The truth is - they do consider it work and it is a business situation. It is not a bad thing. If you read some social worker sites or look at therapist continuing education stuff - a lot of it revolves around practice management - how to get clients, how to bill, how to get paid. Law students are another example of people who have to learn the business side of practicing law. A person may want to be a lawyer for noble reasons (protect the down trodden, save the environment etc), but they still have to figure out how to bill, how to pay investigators, secretaries, etc.
That it is a business protects the client.
I don't see therapist as being a difficult job or one where I think they are under paid (it is indoors, no heavy lifting, some people seem to adore you for no good reason, and one can turn everything around to being the fault of the client or just not say anything, and so forth and always say what ever was because you determined it was in the client's best interest). But that they do get paid is both a reality and not bad, in my opinion.

[Rzay4]

I too strongly disagree, all my Ts minus one have been very caring especially my first and third Ts.

I began therapy over 7 years ago and been in and out, seeing the same T sometimes once or a few times a year. She could of terminated me for my inconsistencies but she didn't and I admire her for that.

So even when I wasn't paying her she was still there for me and she'll always hold a special place.

[Nerak67]

I struggle with this. I know my t cares but I have a hard time with how they can just turn it off when I leave. When I am in a really bad state and they know it it bothers me to think that they can just go about their lives basically I impacted by the fact that I am falling apart. I know they have to learn to do this to function as they have many patients. But, if someone I care about is suffering it really affects me and I can't just put it out if my mind. So sometimes I think you have to be a little cold to be a t.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Sorry you feel that way Melissa. I have to disagree. As a healthcare professional myself I can tell you without hesitation that I care deeply about my patients. Certainly I have had to learn not to get personally invested with everyone I see, but I do indeed care very much. If it were all about the money I wouldn't being doing this job. There isn't that much money in the world.

[feralkittymom]

Originally Posted by Nerak67

I struggle with this. I know my t cares but I have a hard time with how they can just turn it off when I leave. When I am in a really bad state and they know it it bothers me to think that they can just go about their lives basically I impacted by the fact that I am falling apart. I know they have to learn to do this to function as they have many patients. But, if someone I care about is suffering it really affects me and I can't just put it out if my mind. So sometimes I think you have to be a little cold to be a t.

They don't just turn it off. They learn to reflect in a productive way and to let go of emotions that don't further the client's progress. It's a protective distancing, but it contributes to keeping therapy functional (and keeps Ts on track ethically and helps prevent burn out). It doesn't always work, and it doesn't completely eliminate sleepless nights. My T said putting this into practice was the hardest part of his job.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Nerak67

I struggle with this. I know my t cares but I have a hard time with how they can just turn it off when I leave. When I am in a really bad state and they know it it bothers me to think that they can just go about their lives basically I impacted by the fact that I am falling apart. I know they have to learn to do this to function as they have many patients. But, if someone I care about is suffering it really affects me and I can't just put it out if my mind. So sometimes I think you have to be a little cold to be a t.

Are you sure that you are completely out of their minds once you leave the office? I don't think that's always true. Last year, on the anniversary of my son's death, my T called me to let me know that she was thinking of me. My current T tells me that when she is worried about a client she just prays for them and places them in God's hands for safety until she sees them again. That doesn't sound like uncaring people to me. Or people who turn it off as soon as you leave the office.

[stopdog]

I hope a therapist could turn it off and move on to the next client. I seek out the ones who appear a little cold. I want them to stay back and out of my real life. I feel protected from them by the idea it is a job and the payment means they have to stay away. I can't hurt them.