Does age really make a difference?

Exactly and that's what I want to avoid.

I don't feel a one-on-one connection with someone who is decades older than me. My Disability Lawyer is over 30 years older than me (older than my parents) and while I have lots of respect for her for taking my case for so long (at least 3 years) through several appeals I don't really have a one-on-one connection with her.

I totally agree! My T is about 20 years older than me and it works well because I see her as a role model, I look up to her and know what I want to be like when I am older. It does have the parental feeling about it but I like that because she has been more of a mum to me than me real mum has.

Most of my Ts have been about ten years older which works very well for me but my newest T is much older and I too feel like the parental feeling rather than a role model/mentor.

So definitely thinking of switching back to a T I'm more comfortable with.

I wanted someone older. Partly for the parental dynamic, and partly just because I would rather see a T with plenty of life experience and plenty of therapy practice behind them. My T has been practising for 20 years and was a teacher for 15 years before that.

As my family is such a rotten mess, I really appreciate having an older adult in my life - and it makes T feel nicely different from my friendships. My T has turned out to be perfect for me because he's old enough to have that parental feel, but much younger than my parents (he's about 20 years older than me) so it doesn't feel like he actually could be my parent.

Being in the same stage of life has been a big plus with my current T. He is 5 yrs older. He is going through some of the same things--taking care of elderly parents, moving parents to assisted living, the death of a parent, sibling squabbles RE the parents, etc. He has also gone through a divorce. All that has been helpful. My first T was 3 years younger and that was OK too, although we didn't have as much in common. I think I would want someone to either be older or no more than 10 years younger. However, if I had to see someone younger, I would approach it with an open mind.

My family doctor is younger than I am and it has not caused any problems. It seems more important that I have this shared life experience element with my therapist than with my MD. If my family doc is competent and a good listener, then that is enough. I can always go see a specialist if I exceed her knowledge in an area.

Related question: do you think age matters from the T's point of view? Do they prefer to work with clients of a certain age, or gender? Or ones with particular issues?

I'm sure some really like working with kids etc. But they probably like the variety too

I'm seeing my T today and I think I'll ask him this. I just hope he doesn't say, "I don't really like working with middle-aged women"!

I think that may have been the case with my last Therapist.