[behndblueyes]

How do u tell a counselor that you dont want to go n with any type of counselling. For me now would be the time to do it because i just got transferred and my first appointment would be wednesday afternoon. But I am just tired and dont think i can do it anymore. not only that but my money is too tight for it. My mom will start to notice.

[Fuzzybear]

If I understand your post correctly, you are seeing a new counsellor. I suggest just saying you feel you don't need counselling any more. (I feel there may be more to this that I am missing...) You could always go back for a few "top up" sessions if and when you need to.

Have you ever tried free counselling?

[behndblueyes]

I dont even think there are free services where i am. Otherwise I would be more then willing to try. Yes I am just getting another new counselor wednesday. I dont think they would take my response to not needing it anymore... bcause I just recently started and they know that i also self injure. But I guess that is better then nothing.

[Fuzzybear]

Being tired is "normal" for anyone struggling with any mental health issues (much or most of the time anyway). And wanting to give up counselling/therapy is quite normal too, I believe..... My best suggestion is to try to hang in there. As you self injure, as you said, it might not be safe to terminate counselling until you are in a better place emotionally (?)

I wish you luck with your decision.

Take care,
Fuzzy

[(JD)]

Ok, so you're asking us how to lie to the therapist? What is wrong with the truth? I mean, say your money is tight and you don't like working on improving yourself, you like to self harm and since (the T) is new, is looks like a good time to quit.

However, I would caution you to not go that route. Therapy isn't for wimps, I know. It is hard work. Where will you be in 5 years if you don't begin workingon yourself now? What were the reasons you began recently?

You don't have to answer the questions for me, but I think you should for yourself. Take care!

[behndblueyes]

no im not asking how to lie i just dont know what to say. and i dont like to selff harm... i just dont know how to communicate it correctly. im sorry :-/

[(JD)]

Don't be sorry, asking questions you truly don't have the answers to is a good thing. I just fired some back to you to help you think.

What's wrong with telling your true feelings about all this to your new T?

Like another poster said why not tell the truth. You lie and the therapist even though he/she will be seeing you they will be able totell you are lying from your tone of voice on the phone or in person if you do it in person.

There is nothing wrong with calling the therapist or receptionist and saying Im tired I need a break from therapy I will give you a call when I am ready to get back to work on my problems.

I have done that before and I a few times I got a call back saying the therapist completely understands because therapy work sometimes does take alot of commitment and energy to do.

Most of the time no return phone call or response came because the therapist was just honoring my wishes of not doing any therapy work.

I have also called and cancelled my therapy appointments and when the receptionist asked if I wanted to reschedule I said - not at this time thank you - no questions asked the receptionist said ok and goodbye.

I have also gone in to a therapy appointment just to walk in, sit down and say - I just came today to tell you I would not be back for awhile. I need a break, thank you for all you have and I will call when I want to start scheduling appointments again - and then got up and walked back out of the room and building.

Therapists don't expect a huge elaborate excuse when a client wants to stop therapy. The client is in charge of their own therapy experience. Therapists cant force a client to show up at their appointments, or even schedule appointments they just gear the therapy according to what that client needs and if the client needs to take a break then the client takes a break.

There is no NEED to explain, No clients HAVE to explain anything but they can if they WANT to.

[pamelasu]

I don't think quiting is a very good thing to do at this point especially if you are doing some self harm. That kind of thing doesn't just go away and it takes time to heal yourself. Just talk with your therapist about how you feel that you cannot afford to pay for it. There might be something that your therapist can do to help you out a little. Hang in there!

[Rapunzel]

It is true that it is your right to stop counselling any time you decide to, and you are not obligated to come up with an explanation. I think that more people start therapy and then just stop going back than actually complete all of the stages including termination and followup. So that is an option, however, I would suggest that it isn't the best option.

If you do let your counselor know that you need a break or are having trouble finding the time, money, energy, etc., or you just don't want to do any more, or whatever your reason is, then they can help you to get things wrapped up a little more smoothly so that it's not all just left hanging. I know that I'd rather complete that process, and review and understand what has been accomplished and what I still need to work on, and know what options I have if I decide that I need to do more work in the future. Sometimes they will even have you check in a few weeks later to make sure that you are still doing okay. There are a lot of benefits to proper followup, because it helps you to maintain what you have worked on in your therapy.

I've never had anyone do the termination process with me appropriately though. There were a few times that I just stopped making appointments, and didn't say anything at all (but I wished that they would have cared enough to notice and check on me), and other times that it just ended - I was told that it had been long enough and I didn't need to come back. I my classes I have been learning about the final stages of counselling (termination and followup), and I wish that my past therapists had done a much better job with that.

When I begin to see clients, I will make sure to tell them that they can just tell me if they want to stop, and that their wishes will be honored, but I would appreciate the opportunity to talk to them about it so that we can wrap things up. As a therapist, I would appreciate being told that they want to stop and not to be left hanging and wondering what happened.

[Perna]

If you haven't seen this counselor yet, I would just call the center and cancel the appointment and tell them you're "not interested" anymore. If you haven't seen this counselor s/he has nothing invested in seeing you and the clinic doesn't "care" either, being administrative. But I don't know when/how you got into therapy with this clinic. No one wants to see someone who doesn't want to be there. Just cancel the appointment and explain you've made "other" arrangements (if you feel you must explain; it's not really any one else's (including your mother's) business.

[(JD)]

It is a fine line, imo, between a T checking on the welfare of his patient and pursuing clients. The act of not making appointments generally means you don't wish to see the doctor any more. It could be unethical for the doctor to call and try to get you to come back. This would be especially true it you had said anything to that respect, I don't want to return, or even said to the secretary, I'm not coming back.

But I'm still disheartened that you wish to give up on yourself so quickly.