COME GET YOUR KiICKS ON COUCH 66!

WIki...thanks for your reply. I had already decided to buy toys for the Toys for Tots drive with T's money that she refuses to take.

The original plan when I started to see YT was so we could save up to go back to T2 for marriage counseling but that has all changed.

I know I make problems where none exist.

Suboptimal. That's a great mastodon stopdog ce couch word if ever there was one. That's going in our dictionary. Along with using double negatives.

Eta: and my comment on mkac's fault question - that's why we are in therapy, to create our own narrative. To use an outsize example, then you're saying that someone who is being bullied deserves to be bullied. Your t is saying the kids on the schoolbus or whatever are not equivalent to horse race judges, who one presumes to be fair. The kids on the bus are jockeying (sic) for their own social position - ba da bump! come on, that was funny!

ha....I think that's something that MOST of us do...not just you. I do it a lot too.

MKAC...I'm with you on this one. If one person treats me a certain way, they are an idiot. However, if 10 people treat me that way, then I am the idiot. Unless they are all treating me nicely, then they are all idiots. Right?
The only time it doesn't work is if you discount us here on PC. If 5 people in RL say you are an evil stupidhead, and 20 of us PCer's tell you you are awesome and articulate and smart and brave and it's not your fault...then we on PC are right.

I'm with Hankster on this one. It's applying logic to yourself that you wouldn't apply to others. Those kids who are mercilessly bullied day and night, told to kill themselves by people on Facebook... how many "likes" does a bullying post need to get before it's true, by the logic you put forth?

What's missing here is intent. Judges have one set of intentions when telling you about your balance. Even then, people who are supposed to be impartial are still people, and will insert their own crap into whatever it is they are saying to you sometimes.

By your logic, I am fat. (I say this because you actually know what I look like ). I'm not skinny, but I'm not overweight either if we're talking medical-wise. Pre-pregnancy, I was of a slightly lower than average, but healthy, weight (I'm still healthy, but my body sure is excited about acquiring fat stores). Yet if I pick up catalogs for my favorite stores, I look like a cow by comparison. I do not have a Victoria's Secret body, but it's really not unlike lots and lots of people are telling me every day that I'm fat -- or even, "You might be healthy, but you're not beautiful." That really doesn't make it true.

Those companies have an interest in making me feel terrible about myself. Kids on the bus have an interest in going all Lord of the Flies on the weak kids. You simply can't remove it from the equation.

ETA: Which is not to say that just because it's not true means I have a great body image and feel fine. I don't. I feel like a cow. So I get where you're coming from. I just think you're wrong .

Thanks for the input. Something to keep thinking about anyway.

On a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY note, I just found out that S can leave college several days earlier than we expected because one professor decided to make the final an in-class essay! Kind of irritating he did not tell the boy before we bought the plane tickets because now we had to pay $300 for a change fee and a different flight. But, I figure that's only $100 a day for the extra days we get to spend with S.

SallyBrown - Just read that you're expecting! CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's SO exciting!!

MKAC, about what you posted....To me, there's no one-size-fits-all answer and context has a lot to do with it.

I was always told I was a bad kid and would never amount to anything. When I'm able to look at through a wider, more objective lens, I can see a different perspective. I lived with an abusive family. Bad things happened to me which contributed to me behaving in a way that was less that desirable. It's hard, though, to FEEL anything other than that badness/ugliness when it's all I've known.

RTS - for whatever it's worth, I don't think you're making up problems. To some people it's wouldn't be a problem, but you're sensitive to these things, as are many other people. But it's a problem that you can hopefully get past... I like your idea of getting toys for the toys drive.

It's really nice to see you back, (((mu_e))).

And I just posted a wall of text in a new thread. Why can't I ever write succinctly??

Ouch! That would be traumatic all right.
Welcome to the couch!

or I could put the cash in an envelope and mail it to her. I dont want her to be able to take any credit for doing anything "nice" for me......

No. Give it to charity.

She would probably just mail it back to you. And if she is the type who would be going to take credit for being nice, then she will view your attempts to refuse the gesture as evidence of something about you, not her.
It seems to me you are getting into a power struggle over this that you don't really need to spend energy on it unless it is somehow fun. (I mean that not meanly -sometimes I enjoy battles like this and sometimes I don't)

Is that something one of your family members used to do to you -- hold anything "nice" they did for you over your head?

Hello all,

It's been a while since I posted here, but I've been reading.

Mue and Wiki, take care of yourselves
Mast, sorry t is so hard for you
MKAC, so great that your are getting your son home early!
Sally, huge congrats on the pregnancy
RTS, great idea to give the money to charity
Hey granite, Jerz, BPA, CE, Squirrel et al

Sending lots of ((((hugs)))) to where they're needed.

My husband lost his job today. It's the second time this year. I'm starting to believe we've done something horrible to deserve this.

((purpledaze))

Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Evening couch.

I am waiting for my honey drumsticks to finish cooking so I can eat some dinner. I am hungry.

I just wanted to check in. I will post more (support for others and stuff) after I eat.

Hey Ready, I did read the other post. Just to let you know if case you deleted it because you thought no one read or cared. If you deleted it because it was too much to have out there for you -- never mind! Sorry. I hope you are feeling okay either way. Big hugs.

thanks MKAC...sometimes I feel to exposed.... I sometimes think i dont have a right to my feelings and I look to others to tell me I have a right to feel a certain way...then when there are no responses...i think i shouldnt feel that way and delete... I know its mind reading but i still do it...working on it...

I decided to start a thread on the whole T2 thing... Just wanted to hear perspectives different from mine...

good news my son received his first college acceptance letter with an academic scholarship....

That's awesome!!

It is always good when they get accepted even if they decide to go elsewhere.

Hi SD...

Healed...did u make it? When does H get home?

I am trying to choose the brine recipe for this year's turkey. I keep hearing good things about the one from Alton Brown, but I just hate him. (not his recipes - I just dislike him)

H will be home tomorrow night around 10pm..it is going well.