COME GET YOUR KiICKS ON COUCH 66!

Ready..what you are experiencing is totally normal and ok. Crap, my T didn't even use the word love but used caring and connected and those even sent me into a little tizzy. I agree with MKAC-you are doing well. You just started with this T not long ago. Your doing great work. Hugs hugs hugs.

Well folks. I have to shower. Then quickly take the dogs out. Then run to get my eyebrows waxed. Then head to T for an 11am EST appt. that's 2 hours from now. Anyone wanna ride a long? I feel scared and lonely and could use some company.

See you all later.

I'll come along, Jersey.

I dont want him to love or care.... People say they love you and they abandon you...my H emotional abandons me all the time... (day 5 of polite distance)...my parents...my grandfather...even good friends...

Its not a good thing

Me too Jersey!!!

I know. It hurts. Being abandoned sucks. I think there's something coded into our genes that make us seek out situations where we risk being abandoned (i.e., relationships with other people.) I often wish I could go off and be a hermit in a cave. (Without mirrors. But with books.)

1. All the noise noise noise noise.

2. And a beer in a tree.


3. I tried reading mine a chapter of Catch 22 every visit.

4. I keep saying.

On a note related to another thread -- if your T were Jewish, would you give him a gift NOW, during Chanukah, or wait for Christmas? I think T's family does Christmas, although I'm not sure. MC is also Jewish, and I have no idea whether he and his partner do Chanukah or Christmas or both.

We got MC a nice coffee mug because he was always using this cool giant mug, and then suddenly it disappeared and then the week after, he was using a replacement mug. We thought it might be good for him to have a replacement mug already available.

I found a cool sculpture for T. It was more than I have ever spent on him - usually the gifts are small and inexpensive, although meaningful. For the first time, though, I discussed the gift with H. H thinks it is a cool present for a T (human face, but also a puzzle piece), and H said, given how much I have improved emotionally, he didn't think the expense was unreasonable.

MKAC.... Its always easier when the dates fall closer together...

personally I would give them the gift the last session before Christmas but I would wrap it in more of a generic holiday wrap... snowmen, snowflakes...

I've never ever thought to give any of my Ts a gift. Feels way to stressful and risky just thinking about it..

T emailed and said he could see me today at 4.. I don't know, my voice is going in and out, and that means I have to be open and honest and wasn't prepared to do that today.. I still had 4 days until my appointment.. I should go, right?

Yes, I think you should.

absolutely! and you should keep your appt for Friday! (ummmm not that I'm telling you what to do )

I took the appointment.

I know I know but can I please just say I am sick of chest pains that seem to be getting worse. I go for more tests on the 24 but I told the doc I didn't want medication to make me more comfortable .I am beginning to regret this decision .it wasn't as bad then . I keep thinking it must be in my head and stress because it was not this bad until after I saw him and it just keeps lasting longer . but im stressed so it is such a hard call.is it my head or is it getting worse.

Granite... can you call and see if you can get an appt with your NP or the cardiologist sooner than the 24th? It would probably be good if you could go to NP on a day that it is happening or an urgent care?

but I can imagine its very frustrating to not be sure but I would think this is one of those times you'd rather on an error of too much caution than the other way around.

(((granite))) chickie, don't ignore it. AFIB can get complicated...get yourself to urgi or the NP. Have you started on propanal or a arythimal or something yet? Sorry your in pain, chest pain is so damn scary. It's a constant "is this something to worry or not?" Better to be safe than sorry.

Welcome aboard Neut...we welcome and love all herring eating Swedes, as long as you can sing along to the Swedish Chef on the Muppet Show....lol.

to add to it I get to T to tell me t is sick and wont be seeing me .but will see me next Tuesday .F her whatever I am just so darn tired its whatever .I know same **** borring move on nothing needed here .I have a wonderful life to fall back on .right I shouldn't have any issues anyway. im just a needy **** and all that .going to mix my drugs with a bunch of alcohol and si and sleep yup that will work for the evening

Sitting outside of T's office.. Hopefully my voice won't give out and I can be honest.. We'll see.

Granite- sorry to hear t can't see you.

(((((Granite))))))

I'm so sorry, granite. Please be kind to yourself.

I'm so sorry granite. Could you try to find caring things to do for yourself?

Seriously, granite, why risk permanent damage to YOU for a screw up with your T's office not calling to give you a head's up? Please don't punish yourself for their error.

Evening couch.

I had a pretty good day today. Got to sit outside 2 periods with kids who were finished with their work, so they could play basketball and football (American kind...not soccer). It was nice and breezy out, so I didn't mind. It was nicer outside than inside today. It was a "reward" for them finishing their work. The others had to stay inside because they didn't do any work yesterday. They were mad they couldn't go outside, but maybe it will encourage them to complete their work on time in the future.

I'm sorry to everyone who had a T disappointment today. I hope next time goes better for you.

I sent T a couple of emails over the holiday and last week. She never responded to any of them (which is unlike her...usually she will at least respond she is busy and will get to it later), so I began to worry that maybe she was not well or dead or something. Thus yesterday morning I sent her an email asking if she was okay. She responded yesterday afternoon that she was and thanked me for being concerned about her welfare. She said she had just been busy the last week and a half with cooking and cleaning and having company. She also said that on the holidays she is the "chief cook and bottle washer". I know what she means by cook, but bottle washer? The only thing I can think of is she's the one who rinses out the wine or beer bottles, but that would seem odd to say you are the one who does it to me. I don't want to pry into her personal life and ask what she meant by that, but I am curious.

Granite, I would hate it if someone dove into my food. I hate that my grandma does that sometimes at restaurants without asking and I am related to her. I always make a face and she asks what's wrong. I never know what to say...so I just shrug. She'll then say, I just wanted to taste it to see if I would order it next time. Ewww....stay out of my food. I don't want your germs.

Well...I need to go eat some supper. I will hop back on later tonight.

"Chief cook and bottle washer" is a stock phrase that means she is personally responsible for everything in the kitchen, from the highest task to the lowest.

Please don't.