COME GET YOUR KiICKS ON COUCH 66!

Those are pretty cool, growlycat! Thanks for the link.

See...this is my whole issue in a nutshell. I want my family to be like in movies...I want the whoville christmas. I try so hard to make all perfect, and then am always quite let down after.
HELZ no...not Demento! Ugh. H has that on vinyl. We all writhe when he plays it every year.
Good to hear from you murray! Good luck with the group t thing.
Ick Ick Ick....I can't handle that. gross The worst offense to me is a person sticking their grubby hands in a chip bag. I mean, wth? Gross. Pour some in a cup or bowl or something, don't sprinkle your skin cells in my bag of Terra Chips. Sheesh
I purchased a stuffed velveteen rabbit for my niece, we've been reading a chapter every visit. We both adore.
And if you didn't cry at Beaches, you truly are an alien.
um....no. ha ha. I hate measuring that sh it out. grrrrr.
yes growlycat...thanks.

so T today but this morning I have yet another Christmas gathering. I am trying to be good but all this christmasing might just blow up in my face. it has that feel about it

Hello everyone.

Finally had time to read back some.

Sally and MKAC..thanks for the suggestions on the troublesome neighbor. To everyone else, thanks for hearing me. And for the hugs. I really needed to get off my chest that I'm afraid of him. Took a lot to admit that.

On diving into someone's dessert: No. Just no. Maybe if you know the person and ask first, but a stranger? No.

On Jury duty: I went once in my 20's. didn't get picked. Since then, I always just write "return to sender" on the envelope and have not had a problem so far. That's bad. I know.

On T sessions today- MKAC and Granite-if you want pocket riders I'm in. If you don't mind a city girl turned jersey girl in your pocket. It's quite a combo!

BPA-moving is hard in general. And with all the extra stuff on top of it-it makes it really hard. I do hope it goes as smooth as possible for you.

Ready: You are being so brave with YT. Hugs.

On Movies: Beaches, yes. Little Women, no. Just couldn't get into it.

Mast: hugs

Wiki: Pics are great. Glad to see you after a few days.

CC:So glad you are here.

Hello Everyone.

I hope you'll have a good session with T, granite.

My T appt this morning was so frustrating. I want a do-over. It felt as if T was mad at me for not being more fluent. I think maybe it's because I can't see him when I'm talking, and I read all sorts of things into his silences. And I was mad at myself (I just realised this, now when I was writing it) so I'm sure I was projecting like crazy.

I'm struggling with my feelings about H. On Sunday something happened that made me unexpectedly jealous. I didn't think I had it in me to be jealous when he showed an interest in other women, but clearly I do. (He did nothing that was even slightly inappropriate - he only commented, to me, in private, on how gorgeous a good friend of mine is. I happen to feel very inferior to her for other reasons, and I guess that's what caused the flare of jealousy.) But when I tried to tell T about this it felt really trite, and I sensed no reaction at all from him, so I concluded that he was probably bored, and then I started to flounder and stutter, and that's when I thought he seemed annoyed, and I launched into talking about something slightly related, but didn't manage to say what I meant, and it was all a mess of disjointed.... stuff. I'm really dissatisfied with myself.

I wish I could tell him how I feel. Sometimes I can, but not today, clearly.

Good morning Wiki and Jersey
Granite I hope this party turns out well, If I have those feelings prior to a functions I tend to think its a "gut feeling" that causes me to believe it may not go well.
Mast, I am so sorry your T experience today was less then stellar. I too have those insecurities, I think as women we all do ( with a few exceptions). Society makes being a woman a highly competative exsistence when it comes to appearance. I for one , think you are lovley and if it makes you feel better , I bet that woman isnt near as smart as you are! Beauty fades, brain power just increases!

Day 2 of the week long meeting from Hell, Im running late and I dont care.... I mean they can start without me

So I've never really understood what kind of thread this is. Can you write about anything in here?

no need to be so upset with yourself mast .none at all. today just was not a good day .maybe next week might be better .the point is you continue to try. not every day will be good .

yup.... its kinda like a check in thread , we discuss T and life in general and give out lotsa hugs and uplifting words to one another. Also just throw stuff out there in lieu of a thread sometimes. Welcome.

hi lola ya it feels like a gut feeling but that usually means im going to read a lot of my crap into nothing and make others around me miserable . and I get easily overwhelmed if I do to much of this people stuff and it backfires.

good luck with your meeting stuff .two weeks?

no.... second day of a one week meeting. Well if you know what you are gonna do then stop yourself when those thoughts start coming at ya...or take part of an Ativan...thats what I do. Gotta love modern meds.

Morning all.. was called to sub today in high school again, but unfortunately I don't have much of a voice, and still feeling pretty crummy today. So, I sent S to daycare, D is at school, and I plan on sleeping. I am still trying to figure out if I should go see a doctor or not.. I hate being sick enough to think about going to the doctors, but not sure enough if its worth going, if it is just all viral.

With my mind set these days.. I don't like the fact that I am home all day today by myself, but hopefully, I will be spending most of the day sleeping and then feeling better enough to go to basket ball practice this afternoon.

Lola- get your butt to your meeting!

Oh okay! Nice. Thanks for explaining.

Hey, neutrino, welcome to the couch. Yes, it's an open social thread where anything can be discussed, whether it's about therapy or not. The thing to be prepared for is that posts can go unnoticed, and that can feel a bit upsetting sometimes. It's not because we don't all like one another, because we do, but sometimes the thread moves too quickly, and some posts get no replies - which is never personal against the poster.

Thank you, Mastodon. Good to know. It is a bit upsetting sometimes, yes, but I understand that a thread like this moves quickly. I think this seems like a really nice thread though, so you might have to put up with me from time to time.

In my session with YT...there was more silence then I have ever let happen...and I told him I'm just fighting a war in my head... He smiled and asked if I'd like to let him in on the dialogue... I said it went something like dont say that ...for gods sake it was over 35 years ago...get over it... It doesnt matter anyway... He wont think its a big deal...stuff like that...

So we talked about my fear of what would happen and I ended up telling him that he had to bring it up first thing the next session because if he doesnt then my head says see it wasnt a big deal and even he thinks I should just get over it...

Then he asked me how it felt for me to tell him what I needed? Except he didnt word it that way... He said "how does it feel to show me how to LOVE you?" of course I hadnt been looking at him all session....so I just said "WHAT?" and he rephrased it to "care"... I had just got done telling him I didnt want his pitty .....ughh

YT is so so so like 1000% better about dealing with the yucky crap from the past then the other 2... I spent all night lining up the seam in the whole in my coat pocket... At the end he asked...you going to sew that? I said Idk its a pretty good distraction...then we talked about EDRM and how that is one of the thoughts about why it works...I said coloring works too..he said thats a good idea...you could bring in crayons and a coloring book... Then I said "We'll think about it"...why did I say we? His one eyebrow went up and I said you know me myself and I... I'm such a nut...

Excellent. I was whining only last week about feeling like a lonely alien among all the USAnians (And that's completely unfair, because everybody has always been very friendly and open and inclusive. I was just being an over-sensitive jerk.)

Well, not anymore. I wonder if there are other Swedes on this forum. Have you seen any?

The whole LOVE thing was sitting heavy in the room so of course I had to make a joke and I said its not normal for me to tell people what would help me but since thats the goal I guess its good to help you help me help me help you... Ughh I'm so weird...

No, not that I can remember. There was a Danish member who was really nice, but who hasn't been around for quite a while now.

You're not weird, Ready! Many people have difficulty with that word and that concept. Shoot, I had been in therapy for three years AND I knew already that my T loves me AND I know him well and trust him completely, but the first time "I love you, MKAC," came out of his mouth, I just sat there frozen for a while. Really, you are doing so well. Give yourself credit!

Mast...it's so easy to read into things and get down on ourselves. I hope your next session proves to be productive for you. My H doesn't tell me any particular person is gorgeous (except for some famous actress's) but he tends to do a lot of staring when we are out and about and I just tell him-good luck and that none of those beautiful women would even consider giving him the time of day.

RTS... I think YT sounds like a good one.