So I was talking to T and my glasses fell off my face and I said something like 'lol, i think god is telling me to get contacts'.

T just smiled weakly, she didn't really react to be honest.

I didn't expect laughs or anything, just a positive response.

I think maybe she didn't actually understand what I said, because i do mumble sometimes.

This has made me feel as though T doesn't like me and that we don't have a genuine rapport, because her normal 'T personality' is very warm and her voice sounds genuine, but her lack of response here makes me think that it's completely put on.

Or it may be that she's not good with facial expressions. Normally I can't tell because I don't make eye contact.

[anilam]

Or maybe she didn't want to express her opinion re you (not) wearing contacts. Cause that would what the response would be, isn't it? Or what kind of a response did you imagine?

[unlived]

No offence, but it wasnt that funny. Would you rather your T faked her response? Just because she didnt find this funny does not mean that her "t persona" isnt genuine. Honestly I wouldnt get myself too worked up over this. Not everybody will laugh at our jokes.

Originally Posted by unlived

No offence, but it wasnt that funny. Would you rather your T faked her response? Just because she didnt find this funny does not mean that her "t persona" isnt genuine. Honestly I wouldnt get myself too worked up over this. Not everybody will laugh at our jokes.

I didn't think it was a funny joke either, and I didn't want a laugh. It was just meant as a kind of a joke to cover the embarrassment of having my glasses fall off.

Originally Posted by anilam

Or maybe she didn't want to express her opinion re you (not) wearing contacts. Cause that would what the response would be, isn't it? Or what kind of a response did you imagine?

Something reassuring like . . . "That's ok, IT, it happens".

[unaluna]

Maybe she was listening to what you were saying. How do your glasses fall off your face?? Is that like spontaneous combustion? What is the context here?

Originally Posted by hankster

Maybe she was listening to what you were saying. How do your glasses fall off your face?? Is that like spontaneous combustion? What is the context here?

I turned to make eye contact and my glasses fell off. I said something and smiled at her shyly but she didn't really respond.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

T just smiled weakly, she didn't really react to be honest.

I didn't expect laughs or anything, just a positive response.

This has made me feel as though T doesn't like me and that we don't have a genuine rapport, because her normal 'T personality' is very warm and her voice sounds genuine, but her lack of response here makes me think that it's completely put on.

.

You expressed, expecting a 'positive' reaction. You received 'really didn't react', reaction. And the 'weak smile' is getting a 'negative' reaction.

And,now doubts about 'genuine rapport' are setting in. over not getting the reaction you 'expected'.

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[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Something reassuring like . . . "That's ok, IT, it happens".

But, it was just your glasses falling.


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If you were in the middle of discussing something, my guess is that your T didn't want the whole glasses thing to interrupt your discussion. Thus, the lack of reaction so the conversation could continue without interruption.

[reesecups]

I have found that a lot of T's will analyze what you said more than get amused and something. I can see my therp if I said that, thinking that I was blaming God for a very minor issue. I try not to joke to much around therps, I really think they are trained not to laugh at a lot of things said to them and to try to figure out your motivation. It can really ruin a good mood! Lol!

From how you describe the situation I would interpret it like Chris did: your T did not want to shift the focus from the discussion you were having. Perhaps she was thinking hard about how she was going to respond to what you said.

Sometimes we try to read things into our Ts' behaviour that just isn't there... but it is so easy to perceive a lack of caring, even when it's just a figment of our imagination. Been there, done that.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I turned to make eye contact and my glasses fell off. I said something and smiled at her shyly but she didn't really respond.

I dont know if it's because you're trying to describe what happened, but the situation sounds staged or contrived, like the smiling shyly. How do you know you smiled shyly? The books on how to write advise us to show, don't tell. Don't tell us "shyly", this is first person, you can tell us what you were really feeling. You wanted her to react a certain way, and that is pretty much the last thing any t is going to do, is let themselves be manipulated by us. That goes against all their training. But it doesnt mean they don't like us. Just that they're not dating us.

Originally Posted by hankster

How do you know you smiled shyly?

Because I do that a lot. I'm trying to explain that it was a nervous smile.

The books on how to write advise us to show, don't tell. Don't tell us "shyly", this is first person, you can tell us what you were really feeling.

I was wanting to cover for the embarrassment of having my glasses fall off, so I guess embarrassment.

You wanted her to react a certain way, and that is pretty much the last thing any t is going to do, is let themselves be manipulated by us. That goes against all their training. But it doesnt mean they don't like us. Just that they're not dating us.

I wasn't trying to manipulate her.

[IndestructibleGirl]

Originally Posted by hankster

Maybe she was listening to what you were saying. How do your glasses fall off your face?? Is that like spontaneous combustion? What is the context here?

Hmm. I wear contacts so only use my glasses round the house but they are ALWAYS falling off my face! I hate tight glasses so I get nice comfy wide frames, but everytime I do anything energetic like housework or even tying my shoes they slide halfway off

Back to the OP, I think you're reading way too much into this. I know how easy that is too! But really, like someone else said, I bet she just was making sure you didn't both get sidetracked into talking about the glasses, rather than whatever it was you were originally discussing.

[Perna]

I did not see a joke, I see you commenting that you may have been thinking about getting contacts because your glasses fall off. Okay, so? If I wanted to talk about whether I should get contacts or not, I would try to be more direct. If the comment were not about getting contacts then I don't see how to connect to it; not knowing what you and your T have been discussing, it could be about God/religion? I often say things without nouns and my husband does not let me get away with that.

I think if you are embarrassed because your glasses fall off, you have to say something like, "How embarrassing, my glasses fell off." What is going on in our heads cannot be known to anyone not inside our head :-) I do not think we can use shorthand comments and expect other people to pick up on what we mean. Not everyone is embarrassed by their glasses falling off, it is usually not that big a deal for me and if it were, I'd do something about it? I do not think your T had a clue that you were embarrassed, hence no comment. T did not so much not react to what you thought of as a joke, she did not get it.