Why do I need my T to say she loves me?

I can't tell you how many stuffed lions and tigers I still have---they may literally be "in the closet" but I don't plan on getting rid of them.

Maybe I will order one after I figure out what my life is going to look like for the next month. Major **** has hit the fan regarding my treatment. My mother wants me to move back into my apartment in a week and then go back to my parent's house for winter break so I'll never be alone in my apartment. I think that is an absolute recipe for disaster and setting me up to fail. I am not ready to handle being in that house and I feel so strongly about this that if she insists on me making that move, I'm going to have to go completely independent suddenly in the event that I can't get back to school next semester. So once I have that sorted out... maybe I can order one as a reward for pulling through that/advocating for myself assuming I am going to get my parents to cave and I won't be dirt poor yet financially independent.

Is your treatment team aware of this new development with your mom? I really hope they can talk her out of forcing anything.

I know from my own family that when I first started getting better in treatment they tried everything to get me to stop going. It shakes up the family dynamic and unfortunately your mom gets something out of your being "unwell". I think mine was threatened by my no longer being powerless.

I struggled with this for years. She had shown me that she loved me over and over but I had to hear the words.
Finally about 2 years ago, she says, out of the blue, " I love you Pam". It was great. But, more important, it meant that she had heard me. I convinced her through many, MANY, sessions, that I absolutely MUST hear her say the words.

Crazy, but I believe her now, and don't need to demand that she tells me. I know. Every once in a while, she'll say it again, but now I don't have to hear her to know it is true.

But I just HAD to have her say it.

I do understand.

Yes they are aware of this especially considering that my mom appears to have given up talking to me and mostly just calls my program and demand to talk to my case manager.

She can't force anything because I'm 20 years old and if she wants to force anything that I think will be super dangerous/damaging, I will have to put my foot down and cut her out