[FeelingOpaque]

There’s this paradox that seems to form as you’re sitting on that comfortable couch trying to explain why you are the way you are. The vibes coming off his tone and body language lead me to the belief, or anxiety, that what he sees for me is not what I am looking for. His attitude points toward assimilation, trying to become ‘normal’. I like who I am, generally, I just hate the control my emotions have on my psyche and behavior. When he talks about what he wants me to accomplish in therapy it makes me uncomfortable because it sound like he wants me to become like everybody instead of learning to be myself. I don’t want to get along with everybody, as if that were even possible, I want to be able to keep and strengthen the relationships and acquaintances I have now, not learn how to make friends: I know how to make friends, I chose not too because I don’t feel I’d be a good friend. He wants me to start thinking about a profession. I’m only 19, I’m not looking to waste it away on anxiety over work. I want to train myself to keep focus, have purpose, be more adventurous, less anxious. There is a disconnection between what my therapist hears and what I am trying to express. What can I do about this? How can I get what I am searching for in my therapy? And, is this just overthinking it? Am I just being paranoid or trying to hide away? Sorry for the rant.

[Leah123]

"How to get what I want from Therapy?"

I think the easiest answer is to take this post, print it out and discuss it with your therapist in your next session. He needs to know all this to help you, and you need to know that he's open to working with you the way you want, for you to decide to let him help you.

Good luck!

[FeelingOpaque]

I never got around to those specifics feelings but I did end up canceling further session. He continued to try to get me to take medication and I told him I don't want to take it, and he said he can't help me, and doesn't think anyone else one can either, unless I take meds. Then he said I'm just going to get worse unless I take drugs, so I left.

[learning1]

That sounds like a stressful ending. How are you?
I don't think one therapist should speak for all the rest of them.

[archipelago]

That sounds terrible to me. If there such fundamental conflict, I would get referred out. Not to say you should, just saying how I would react.

I want transformation from therapy. First though I want safety and to develop who I am. The transformation comes from letting go of the old things that define me but aren't really what I want. I like deep work. I'm not interested in advice or behavior modification. I want to be really understood so I can understand myself better and feel strong in that. My therapist does this. It's a good match.

[Rosondo]

Originally Posted by FeelingOpaque

There’s this paradox that seems to form as you’re sitting on that comfortable couch trying to explain why you are the way you are. The vibes coming off his tone and body language lead me to the belief, or anxiety, that what he sees for me is not what I am looking for. His attitude points toward assimilation, trying to become ‘normal’. I like who I am, generally, I just hate the control my emotions have on my psyche and behavior. When he talks about what he wants me to accomplish in therapy it makes me uncomfortable because it sound like he wants me to become like everybody instead of learning to be myself. I don’t want to get along with everybody, as if that were even possible, I want to be able to keep and strengthen the relationships and acquaintances I have now, not learn how to make friends: I know how to make friends, I chose not too because I don’t feel I’d be a good friend. He wants me to start thinking about a profession. I’m only 19, I’m not looking to waste it away on anxiety over work. I want to train myself to keep focus, have purpose, be more adventurous, less anxious. There is a disconnection between what my therapist hears and what I am trying to express. What can I do about this? How can I get what I am searching for in my therapy? And, is this just overthinking it? Am I just being paranoid or trying to hide away? Sorry for the rant.

Why don't you tell your T this is how he comes across to you, that you feel pressure from that? It can be useful to discuss that.