Couch 67 - Keep calm, carry on, and have a cup of tea.

its official , im iced in with the dog.... at least I have electricity and food ... ugggg

We're all here with you too!

Afternoon couch.

I survived the week at school. I get to work this morning and was told they needed me to go on the "World of Work" field trip. It was only a half day, but still I hate when crap is sprung on me. World of Work is a program (teachers select students to be in it) that pulls kids out of an elective twice a week to go over job/employment skills with them. They teach them how to fill out an application, make a resume, how to act in an interview, and other things like that. It's an outside agency contracted by the school board who does this. Then once or twice a month, they take them on a field trip to a local business for a tour. Before Thanksgiving we went to a hotel. Today we went to the police station. Next week (luckily they told me this time beforehand), we go to the fire station. The kids get to ask questions about what sort of schooling they need to apply for certain jobs at that place of business/field of employment. I personally think the program would be better suited for high school students, since they are at the point where they start considering what they want to do after they graduate, but I guess it's important to teach this stuff to middle school students as well. Unfortunately it is a program only offered in the middle schools. The teachers usually choose kids who have said they have no desire to goto college, or don't show potential for college, to show them that there are still a lot of possible jobs out there for them.

Let me just use this thread for brief moment to share my complete and utter fascination for how the human body works. I held a heart today. Sure, it wasn't a human heart, it was a pig's heart but they're built the same way (only a pig's heart is a bit bigger). Anyway, I held a heart today. I cut it open (it was for an assignment in my anatomy class by the way) and observed everything in it: the atria and ventricles, the arteries and the veins, the valves, the heart wall and the muscles etc. It's a very beautiful organ and it blows my mind that something so small, something that fits in the palm my hand, makes sure we stay alive and fully functional. It's so intricate and it works with perfect precision (most of the time) without us even thinking about it.

As I was sitting there with the heart in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other I couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of it all. We're such complex creatures. We're born and everything just works. Blood flows, we fill our lungs with air, hemoglobin binds oxygen and carries it from the lungs to the tissues and brings carbon dioxide back to the lungs for us to exhale. We're able to process and interpret the information from our surroundings, we're able to learn things and form new neural pathways while doing so. We're able to see, hear, feel, think, taste, smell, walk, talk etc. I'm not sure if what I'm writing is coherent enough for you to understand but the point is I'm blown away by how incredibly awesome the human body is, and if I get to spend the rest of my life working within the field of medicine/biology/biochemistry then I'll be more than fine (mental illness aside).

I can't wait until my neurobiology class starts.

And a dog!

a dog with bad gas and the fear of snow and ice, lucky me! ewwwww

A library with Nigella Lawson in it. What could be better?

The ice does suck.

it took me 30 minutes to prep my car for my 1.5 mile drive to work today (thank took 10 minutes), Id rather have snow.

Good evening couch.

Hi Healed...did you have T today? How are you doing?

Hola healed, how are you this crisp evening?

Yes, I saw T today..

He said he thinks I need to go back on Meds, suggested new doctors to try to get into because I don't like mine. Had to promise I would call or text him if I felt like I wasn't safe, I will see him again on Tuesday, he reminded me that he has the authority to hospitalize me, he said I could voluntarily hospitalize myself at a hospital about 3 hours away from here, he said that he cared for me, and he reminded me that the thoughts and emotions that I currently feel are those rooted in trauma and aren't always correct.

hey all..
Neut....that was very cool. I never stop to think about the complexities of the heart before. Amazing.

I started the day really down. Had a rough "argument" with my mother last night that proved to me YET AGAIN that I will never ever measure up to the worth of my brother (or any sibling). I am so stupid. It hurts every time. So I cried (like a freakin little baby) myself to sleep. Today I had Boston, but my D did as well, and she drove. She also controlled the radio, and we listened to Xmas music the whole trip, along with her singing every song at the top of her lungs. (thankfully she has beautiful voice). We went to Harvard Sq. after our appointments and got some shopping done. I LOVE HARVARD SQUARE. It was festive. It was not too cold. My back held up long enough to walk the whole way. I enjoyed watching D speak broken Japanese with a gentleman who spoke broken English....and they communicated, laughed and it was a sweet moment when both acknowledged that the other was doing well with their second languages.

So I am better. A glass of wine. A cuddling dog. And a crazy as sed ugly sweater to wear to the Ugly Sweater Party tomorrow night, what more can a girl ask for?

Sweet dreams and peace to my couch buddies...you all deserve both.

wiki out

good T you have Healed and meds dont have to be forever. This time of year reeks havoc on a person. I am thinking I need meds again as well and as soon as I can dig myself out to a doctor I plan on doing so.
Wiki, I am so sorry that your mom let you down again. Love the dog, they always make things better.

I don't know what to do.

Hang in there Healed... do what is best for you.

never mind!

Hi couch. Hope everyone is ok!!!!
I'm counting down going home to boston btw wikidP !!!
btw I do miss harvard square and the darling pit rats, I used to be one

I am dealing with the fact that I have been called "soft hearted" and it truly is a disadvantage in life I believe, I feel others struggles as my own and take that on as my own and the sorrow that follows as my own. I wish I knew how to separate the feeling of caring and feeling as though it is happening to me.

I don't know what it is about but I will still venture my thoughts. You can't change or fix another person. Sometimes situation projects (work, personal etc) just seem cursed.
Once, in one of the circuits where I practiced frequently, there were about 20 judges, but no matter what there was one judge that I screwed up in front of all the time - a document I filed 19 other times with no errors, typos, wrong placement etc, would, in his court, have a screw - up. If something I did was going to get screwed up, it was going to be in front of him. Luckily for me, he eventually retired.

Beaches - I don't really understand doing that, but it does not sound pleasant.
(I love calling you Beaches now).
In some ways it does not sound as though that would be helpful to the other person - I mean taking on their troubles as one's own. It does not sound soft-hearted but rather a bit over-reaching. I mean, what good does that do either party really?

It's not intentional, as soon as I hear the issue, I own it.... obviously I need therapy. I just wanted to know if anyone else felt that way. It's a hard way to live, knowing you can't fix it all and I'm starting to realize it's not always mine to fix or even feel bad if I can't.

I think we all have to live with that knowledge. I think your realization is a good first step. I do wish you could find a not inadequate therapist.

morning . heading to do some christmasing and crafting with some good people all day today .I so hope it will lift my spirits. went out yesterday with bff and that didn't seem to help . hope today id differnt