Couch 67 - Keep calm, carry on, and have a cup of tea.

Jersey, I would say it sounds like countertransference and her being so open, although I'm not sure if it's normal, it sounds nice. My xT and I had a similar conversation and he said it was countertransference on his part.

CL-Everyone needs a break every so often. I think it's whatever feels best for you. If you do decide to do it, it may take a few sessions upon your return to get things moving again. But breaks can often be very helpful. There is also the option of changing your mind as well.

Thanks CC... I may just bring it up on Tuesday and tell her she's doing enough. I have to help her see that.

Jersey- I don't know, but its refreshing to see a T being so honest with her client!

CL- I hear that breaks are sometimes needed.. Sounds like good timing right now, if that is in fact what you want to do. GL with it!

How you doing CC?

Sounds like a plan.

My T once apologized for her counter transference when she became "angry" toward my abusive biological mother. Once day I had noticed she was visibly upset. The next day she admitted she had her own issues with her mother and it got the better of her. I haven't noticed any countertransference issues since. I respected her admitting to them and calling herself out.

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Started work on my yearly video on noteworthy people who died this past year, have been doing one every year since 2008.

Sounds cool RTS
Looks like I'll be iced in for a few days, just me and the dog. I'll need to keep busy as that is a recipe for a depressive episode

CritterLady...why dont you take your post and talk about it at your next session...if you want a break that is okay but xT said he learned alot about how things were going for me in our I'm taking a break discussions... You might even find you dont need a break? i used to take breaks when T was going away soon...I think it was an I'm going to leave before he can leave me thing subconsciously...

I'm going to collapse tomorrow night. This is the second night in a row i've been up till 2am...and then turn around and get up at 6am.. 2 back to back nights of 4 hours sleep is tough... Helped my son on a school project tonight...

I'm up too late also---work is weighing on my mind…new boss lady and big big dept changes ahead….I'm just trying to wrap up current projects before I go on a 2wk xmas break. I should be winding down but I just feel things amping up…anxiety!!!

Sorry folks. I feel asleep last night. 300mgs of valerian root does that to ya. (Well me)

Thanks for the feedback on my T question so far. Would love to hear from more people on it, if anyone has any thoughts. But, I think what I'm going to do is make it into a game on Tuesday and turn the tables on T a little. I will walk in sit down and say:

"Let's talk about your text. You said you have an issue with wanting to make sure your doing enough for me. Tell me more about that"

I work all the live long day today. Gonna be a long one.

Good Everything to Everyone!

i'm awake and that is the only thing good I can say. Jumping in shower and leaving for work in 15 minutes.

i'm still trying to get some sleep. ugh

That'd be an example of countertransference, I think. I'm not an expert but from what I know, it fits the definition.

I think it depends on the orientation of the T, whether or not that's normal. An analyst might never tell you that, but others might. I actually think it's REALLY good, because for so, so many of us, a huge part of the reason we struggle is that we have taken on the problems of others as our own for a really long time, and have a hard time distinguishing between "my fault" and "your stuff". As long as the disclosure is meant to help YOU, and not just to get stuff off T's chest.

My T tells me about this stuff more and more. Over time it became clear that somehow I always pick up on what he is feeling -- but I don't always know that that is what's happening. Sometimes it's subtle, but other times, more obvious. Once, for instance, I thought he was frustrated with me when I had a hard time coming out and telling him something (pretty big) directly. When I finally told him how I thought he was reacting to me, he admitted that he was frustrated, but not at me. He was frustrated with himself because he felt like he should have been helping me articulate what was wrong and should have picked up on how big it was by how much I kept skirting around it, rather than letting me struggle through it alone. It helped me a lot to know that.

I think both transference and countertransference are inevitable, and a judicious disclosure like that can be really helpful. We don't always get a whole lot of practice in real life with people who are willing to say "Now wait a minute, that's my stuff you're picking up on."

Thank you to everyone offering to pocket ride with me to my personal t session this morning. I'll be heading out shortly. I am so anxious, I'd rather not go. I haven't seen him for 11 days now, so I know I need and want to, just hoping I can actually talk openly about what I need to today.

Thanks again.

Thank you so much Sally. What you said totally makes sense. I can now see if that's what she was trying to do. Because I did tell her in my text to her that I feel selfish in sessions and I feel like I'm not bringing anything good. So now that you said it the way you did, it makes sense why she told me that. Thank you.

I go see xT at 2:15... right after parent teacher conferences for my younger son so its not like I have a lot of time to think about it... but the anxiety is high...

And then maybe you could say, "How does that make you feel?"

Hehehe. If I want to get real daring, maybe Ill go in and sit in her chair. Okay. Maybe that's too much.

Granite....

Let us know how it goes, Ready.

Where is everyone today? Come on folks, check in!

I will get the ball rolling with a cute dog story. The other day, my daughter and I were cuddling with the young dog. She is FINALLY settling down and getting snugglier. The older dog came over and play bowed at YD. YD is a little interested, but wants to snuggle still. OD goes and gets a toy and starts bouncing around like a puppy. Now YD is excited and jumps down and starts playing also. OD is just cranking YD up more and more to the point where I was like, "okay, that's it -- go outside and play." I opened the door and YD goes racing out. OD grins at me and jumps up on the couch and cuddles up next to my daughter. Thinking back, I realized OD does this A LOT -- gets YD all cranked up and barking and then we let YD out to play and OD gets the couch and the attention to herself.

Had my t appt this morning. Was just as hard as I thought it might be. Even talked about my abandonment stuff with my father. Now he wants me to bring in my DH next Monday. Just so that I can finally tell him what's truly going on and not be so panicked every time the phone rings thinking it might be him (my father). My DH truly doesn't understand the abandonment issues. T thinks he can help explain it in a way that I just can't. True, but the last time I brought DH into a session, it was to tell him about my ED. I just don't know what to do. Okay, I do, but it's just so hard.

Thanks to all of the pocket riders today. I really appreciate it.

Aww, that is a cute dog story, MKAC.

Ready- I hope your session goes well for you.