Alright so I am a freshman in college and I live on campus. I was forced to see a therapist because I had threatened suicide at the beginning of the semester. Anyway, this is where I met the therapist. I saw her for probably two months.

At my college they only do "brief therapy" so our time was up. About two weeks ago was our last session.

anyway, the last time I saw her, she had asked me to sign paperwork so she would have permission to talk to my teachers and help me out with my missed work and all that. So I did and then as I was leaving the office, she asked if I was okay.

I said yes, kind of, then she told me I could still come to group (which I thought was a group that she led, she made it sound like she did, and I thought that was her way of saying "I know you'll miss me, you can still see me..." like maybe she cared about me and still wanted to see me...

but as it turns out I was wrong in thinking that. Because I went to the group today and sat in the waiting room. My ex-therapist comes into the room and I stand up and so does another girl. This girl is the client she's about to see. So all three of us just stand there for a second, me thinking this is group until I see the confused look on her face...

That's when my ex-therapist tells me that "another person does the group, not me" she waved at me and smiled and looked surprised to see me... which surprised me... but still. My spirits just dropped when she told me that she didn't do the group cause that was literally the only reason I went to the stupid group today, to see her, and she wasn't even doing it. I felt embarrassed and humiliated too.

But I miss her. And this "brief therapy" thing sucks because I miss our sessions. I just feel really lost without her. I have a new therapist but I like my old one better and I connected better with her, I feel like she understands me and genuinely cares and I just feel a connection with her. I'm so distraught.

What's even worse is that this semester will be over soon anyway and I'll have to leave campus and go back home for the break. I don't know if I'll ever see her again. She gave me hope.

As I said... I like my new one... but I miss my old one deeply and I feel lost. Just, what can I do? Is there anything I can do? If I showed up there and asked to talk to her what would happen?

God, I don't even know. I just feel horrible and stupid.

Please someone help me I'm really upset.

[Nerak67]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't have any great advice other than to say as you get more comfortable with your new therapist it will probably get a lot easier.

[jacq10]

(((((never)))))

Have you spoken with your old T about how distressed this is making you? Contact via email? .... and just to clarify, are you just doing the group now, or are you seeing a new T at your college? If you're seeing a new T, I don't see any reason why you couldn't just request to continue with your old T if they are still allowing you to see a T....

[Fuzzybear]

I just realized that I have her email... however, I'm not sure if they are allowed to communicate through it though. I could try, if I could work up the courage first. I'm really nervous that like I'll send her an emotion filled email about how bad I feel since having to terminate with her and then she'll just reply with some professionally cold reply. I'm really afraid of that happening, because I know they do that sometimes.

Sorry, let me clarify.

My old therapist (the one I had to terminate with two weeks ago) is the one at my college.

My new one is at the community counseling center (not on campus.)

Originally Posted by Nerak67

I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't have any great advice other than to say as you get more comfortable with your new therapist it will probably get a lot easier.

Honestly I am comfortable with the new one. She's really nice. But I just like my old one better and miss her in general.

[Bill3]

This is so hard. What if you talked to your new T about it?

[jacq10]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

I just realized that I have her email... however, I'm not sure if they are allowed to communicate through it though

I would be really surprised if this is the case.

It's worth a try?
you can do it

Jacq

[anilam]

I'd give the new T more time- two weeks is too little a time know a T.
She can help you process the loss/termination.

This must be difficult and frustrating for you. It sounds like you like the new T well enough, but are struggling with missing your old T. It has only been a couple weeks though, so with some time and perhaps some processing with your new T about this, hopefully you will start feeling better. Be gentle with yourself in the meantime.

Guys, I'm thinking right now of just calling and asking if I can set up an appointment with her today. It's 12:03 and their office closes at 5 so I have no idea if that would be possible or if they'd let me since we've already terminated and it's only brief therapy. But I'm in a lot of emotional pain and maybe if I told them that and that she's the only one I'm comfortable with maybe they'd let me come in and see her today before the office closes. (Their website does say they accept walk-ins to students who are in emotional pain or crisis. Maybe I could do that over the phone then come and see her... I don't know.)

Seriously needing a pep talk ASAP because I'm super nervous and hesitant about it and I really want to do it but I'm really scared. Please. Pep talk needed.

Originally Posted by Bill3

This is so hard. What if you talked to your new T about it?

I don't know... It's hard to explain what I'm feeling right now... sure I could talk to my new one but I still wouldn't be talking to my old one which is the only thing I want to do. :/ I'm not ready for it to be goodbye yet. There's still things we haven't talked about.

[Bill3]

sure I could talk to my new one but I still wouldn't be talking to my old one

Right. Talking to new T cannot replace talking to old T.

Possibly, though, talking to new T about old T, about your loss, can be helpful.

[jacq10]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

Guys, I'm thinking right now of just calling and asking if I can set up an appointment with her today. It's 12:03 and their office closes at 5 so I have no idea if that would be possible or if they'd let me since we've already terminated and it's only brief therapy. But I'm in a lot of emotional pain and maybe if I told them that and that she's the only one I'm comfortable with maybe they'd let me come in and see her today before the office closes. (Their website does say they accept walk-ins to students who are in emotional pain or crisis. Maybe I could do that over the phone then come and see her... I don't know.)

You really have nothing to lose by calling. The worst they can say is no, and then you're in the same position you are now.

I wouldn't necessarily get your hopes up on seeing your old T today though.... my old counselling centre had walk-in every day as well, but they would only have one or two counsellors working the walk-in. It's possible that your old T is doing walk-in today, but it's also possible that you might end up seeing a different T.

Good luck though, and I hope things work out for you today
Jacq

[Asiablue]

I know it all seems hopeless just now but it really is for the best if she only does short term. Look how attached you feel to her after just two months? Imagine if you were allowed any longer with her and then your therapy was cut short after 6months or a year? Horrible!

At least with the new T you can settle in with her, and feel safe that you can count on her to be there in the long term.

[likelife]

I really feel for you. I miss my ex-T like crazy too. I do think the advice to try to settle in with your new T, and to talk with her about exT is good. It feels ****** right now, but hopefully over the long-term, you'll be able to develop just as close of a relationship with your new T.

Originally Posted by Bill3

Right. Talking to new T cannot replace talking to old T.

Possibly, though, talking to new T about old T, about your loss, can be helpful.

I don't really think it could be but maybe you're right.

[Yogix]

Did you end up making that phone call?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

I don't really think it could be but maybe you're right.

Actually, you might be surprised at how much it might help AND how much the new therapist might understand.

Very few people understand the bond that can develop during therapy. Therapist do though.

It can be a tremendous loss when we have to terminate before therapy gets to run it's natural course.

I've been there. I moved away from my therapist and the loss I felt was very acute.

Well frankly, it was grief. Only according to a lot of folks, it was a grief that I wasn't supposed to feel. But I did.

Talking to my new therapist helped A LOT. He helped me to understand that it was grief. It would have to run its course, it was survivable.

He didn't make me feel stupid, but totally got it. Grief is a part of love. Not the best part, but certainly a part.

The comparisons between him and my old therapist nearly derailed the whole thing, but I learned that I can learn and grow and share from a lot of sources.

Different can be bad, but it can also just be different.

Instead of reaching out to your old therapist, I would consider reaching out to the new one.

What do ya think?

[jacq10]

How did it go today?

I didn't make the phone call.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

Honestly I am comfortable with the new one. She's really nice. But I just like my old one better and miss her in general.

That's not unusual. Your new T should understand.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

That's not unusual. Your new T should understand.

For me talking about a loss doesn't make me feel any better. Losing a person leaves a hole in my heart that another person cannot fill because they simply just aren't the person I want. I have an issue with feeling empty a lot. And maybe I'm just being stubborn and selfish too, but I'm not ready to let the other one go.

[CantExplain]

It took me three months to let go of my previous T. But I did let go eventually. Mostly.