My T and I talked to the client before me last week

I usually don't see clients before or after me. Last Tuesday when I got there, a couple of kids had their things on every chair in the waiting room, and they were sitting on the couch, engrossed in a computer device. I said-uh, can I sit down somewhere? One of the kids was very polite, said "I'm sorry, ma'am", and moved stuff off the chair closest to me.

Soon after my T and her client came out. The woman asked me if the kids were behaving. I told her what I posted above. She then said to the kids: "Say good-bye to Miss____", and they did. My T seemed to know them pretty well. Then I went in to have my session.

T and I talked about how that would have bothered me a LOT if it happened a couple of years ago. Once I got really upset when she commented on her next client's haircut, in front of me. But this time I was okay with her paying attention to this other client and her kids. T thought that was progress. I told her about the other woman with a child I didn't mind seeing some months ago.

I told T that I like seeing that other clients like her too. What I probably meant was that I also like, or can tolerate, HER liking other clients. I'm not so jealous as I used to be. It validates what a special person and T she is, and that she genuinely likes her other clients, and they like her too.

I'm glad I don't always have to interact or see my T's other clients, but this showed to me and my T that I'm making progress regarding my attachment to her.

I think that's huge. There were some people who actually closed the door to the waiting room, forcing me to wait out in the hall where there are no chairs or anything. I was like, ok, whatever, i get it, it's therapy, things are weird, but come on now. So YOU are now the normal person! I mean, it's relative, but it's great to see progress, isn't it? It's TANGIBLE. Something has actually changed. All that awfulness has paid off, is what it is. You DID work through it, by feeling crappy and not knowing what was wrong or weird, but you never backed down from experiencing it, as your threads here will attest. You did it with and in t, which is where it belongs.

These seem like small things, but they're not. They are the benchmarks of our progress and success.

You're making huge strides, Rainbow. I knew you could do it, each slow, painful step at a time. It all keeps getting better, I promise.

that is great rainbow!

The waiting room. The worst part of the session if you ask me. I do not like seeing who is going in or coming out. If I see someone, I always think about what kind of relationship my T has with them, and I don't like thinking about it. This is what bothers me about this whole T situation. It's like he is my best friend and I don't want to share. So, now that I feel I have worked out a lot of my problems, now I have to work on the attachment just like Rainbow8. What has to be done to detach my self from this situation, what is the therapeutic solution? If we talk more, don't I get attached more? What a conundrum! (Good word!)

People leaving session do not have to exit through waiting room. There is another exit down the hall which I use regularly. I would not want to see the next client or for them to see me.

But glad you were fine with it.

Rainbow,

I think that's GREAT progress for you! I can remember when it really bothered you to see your t's other clients or have your t mention them. Good work!!

This sounds amazing progress, Rainbow. Well done! I would really struggle with this - I think I have a way to go! I think you are doing so well.

Thank you very much, hankster! You're right. To me it seems small, but it's not! I still have to work on not getting jealous of my friend and her T who invited her to his party, but as far as MY T, I'm getting better. She's away and I keep checking the weather where she is, and feeling bad for her that it's not sunny, but it's hot, unlike the below 0 temps where I live! I want her to have a restful vacation; she deserves it! Today would have been T day, but I'm OKAY!

Thank you, Chopin. It's so nice to see you here again.

Thanks, suzzie.

I understand the problem, always. I wish I didn't have to share my T, but the reality is that it's her job, and I'm glad she's helping others as well as me. Yes, the more you talk, the more attached you can become, and that's happened to me, but there finally is a point where I feel like I have a secure attachment to my T, so even when I'm not with her, I feel it. I know she cares very much about me even though we're not friends. We connect on a very deep level in the sessions, especially lately, and that is what is keeping me secure and calm. I hope that can happen for you too.

There's no other exit in my T's office suite. I rarely see anyone else, even though there are other Ts there also. I used to feel like you, but it's helping me with reality to accept that I am NOT my T's only client. It doesn't change the way she feels about me, or the way I feel about her.

Thanks, Peaches. Yes, it IS a different feeling for me!

Thank you. I was surprised too. The other client was so matter of fact about it. That helped me too. Plus her kids were cute and polite. It was okay with me. Another time there was a lady telling her toddler about the photos on the wall in the waiting room, taken by my T. Somehow I found that touching. Before that, a couple of years ago, my T told the next client that she liked his hair cut, and I got really upset. So, it hasn't always been easy for me! I think it's only been 4 or 5 times when there has been a client who I've seen before or after me.

I would find this so difficult. It is something I know I need to deal with as I just can't think of her seeing anyone else without that painful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I know it's irrational as I know she sees other clients. But it just hurts so much. What is wrong with me? She once mentioned she has seen one client for over 11 years - I want to ask her more but obviously can't. I am so jealous of that client!