[ShaggyChic_1201]

I'm sorry I keep posting. I am in a bad situation.

I've made a real mess of things. All I wanted was Ex-H to stay away from me. I filed for a restraining order (stalking, not abuse) but now they have deposed me, asking for all correspondence, posts, and private journals. We are going to trial where I must provide evidence of every incident I alleged or they will say that I'm just crazy and try to discount everything I say. My journals describe how ex bullied me into going to sex clubs when we were first married and I feel so ashamed. They also detail a 3-year battle against depression, si and bulimia.

My T is being subpoened so she can testify on my behalf.

I had to change my user name because he'll find it out.

The only one silver lining is that all his crimes and perversions will be discussed in open court in front of his witnesses, and he will read what I truly thought of him.

[CantExplain]

What does your lawyer say?

[NWgirl2013]

This is in family court, right? He is protesting the restraining order? Is it because he is still harassing you and doesn't want to stop or doesn't want a record?

I had to get one of these for my mother, bless her soul, for elder abuse, and the abuser tried to say she was incompetent.

But she showed up in court, and all the judge did was look over the request, ask her if it was her wish to be left alone by this person, and it was done. No one questioned him or her really. The judge read everything, depositions, etc, in his chambers. It was actually very fast.

I hope it will be this way for you and you can find some peace.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Judge already said this wouldn't be fast, she kept her whole afternoon open for it. He's protesting b/c a finding in my favor takes away his ability to carry a firearm for 1 yr.

[Lauliza]

It probably depends on what state you are in, but courts tend to lean toward the person requesting the restraining order. So it seems worth the exposure of your journals, etc., especially if it means he won't be able to carry a gun for a while. I wish you luck.
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[Puglife]

I'm amazed they have the right to subpoena your journals. Also, due to confidentiality your T doesn't have to say what you have talked about, right?

[eblam81]

Wow, I wish you luck. I'm sorry for your pain and all that you are going through. This is the part that truly sucks and if he can't let go and go on with life, he's the one that's got the real problems! Best of luck to you!

[Karrebear]

You didn't make a mess of anything. You just wanted to protect yourself. Its him that has messed up. When is the court date?

[healingme4me]

I'm appalled that all your journal entries are requested. Classic sign of an abuser using abuse tactics. Saw your other post, but, in my experience, you can interview various attorneys at least getting 30 minutes of their time.

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Originally Posted by ShaggyChic_1201

He's protesting b/c a finding in my favor takes away his ability to carry a firearm for 1 yr.

It all makes sense now. Wow! I really hope it goes in your favor.

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[elaygee]

Originally Posted by Puglife

I'm amazed they have the right to subpoena your journals. Also, due to confidentiality your T doesn't have to say what you have talked about, right?

One loophole in this rule is if a therapist is court ordered then they can break confidentiality. One thing to fall back on is the therapist's license code of ethics also dictate that typically all the therapist can report is fact, not opinion.

[pleiades06]

Sending positive thoughts your way. It is amazing how relationships can be so destructive. The truth will set you free, though, at some point!!

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by elaygee

One loophole in this rule is if a therapist is court ordered then they can break confidentiality. One thing to fall back on is the therapist's license code of ethics also dictate that typically all the therapist can report is fact, not opinion.

Any idea, how many of her journals,,must arrive?? Where's the proof, of withholding some?(or parts of?) Personally, i tend to dispose of chunks of my journals, been doing this since college....

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[healingme4me]

Keep thinking about this. For intents and purposes, it's up to you, to express facts, that support harassing/stalking behavior, and reality is, such behavior is fear invoking, to anyone, anxiety, depression, ptsd,, no disorders, etc, as it is. Because, case examples, will show, i think its the Virginia domestic violence site, that defines stalking behavior best. And why, it's important to protect yourself. If you can, check it out.
It's up to him, to prove he's not a threat!
This sounds like a circular, manipulative argument, from him/his attorney.
Even, if to not remove weapon for one year, a stay away order could suffice, if he violates order, then he could lose license.
Your safety, right to not be harassed and stalked, matters, too.
Maybe, you've not been threatened with a weapon, but stalking is concerning behavior.
Stick to case at hand, with deposed items of request, leave out rest.



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[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by Karrebear

You didn't make a mess of anything. You just wanted to protect yourself. Its him that has messed up. When is the court date?

We don't go back until Jan 31st.

Just to be clear, T is only going to testify about two things - his impact on me, and observations on his behavior during joint sessions. The supoena is to allow her to share what would otherwise be confidential about him.

The other interesting ethical thing is that ex brought our former rabbi, whom we both saw for a few counseling sessions. Not sure what he intends to say and am quite curious.

Healing - I see from other posts you have had quite an awful journey with DV issues, and your advice is invaluable. I especially agree with your comment that this is a classic abuser move, and it is disgraceful that he found an attorney to go along with it. (Not surprising, unfortunately, but disgraceful).