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  #1  
Old Jan 08, 2014, 08:35 PM
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Bentay Bentay is offline
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Location: UK
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My two year CBT therapy ended before Christmas, after a four week gap my T asked me to come for a final review session to see how I'm doing (my session is next week).
The problem is, that although I really miss my T and have thought about him a lot during this break, I don't really want to see him a final time (I don't think I could bear it knowing this really is the end & I will never see him again)

Also, I'm really really worried that if my final session does not go well or if I say something wrong (so to speak) I won't be able to fix it as I will have no more sessions! This really worries me, so much so that I am considering just writing him a letter explaining why I couldn't come - what do I do, please advise ?
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  #2  
Old Jan 09, 2014, 12:34 AM
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rainbow8 rainbow8 is offline
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I think you should go because you will regret it if you don't. It's always best to have closure when you end therapy. It may be difficult, but leaving people is part of life and you can't always walk away from it. Your final session will be a chance to discuss how far you've come, what your T thinks you still need to work on, and anything else you may want to ask or say to him. I forgot: are you quitting therapy altogether, or are you going to see someone else?

If you make a mistake or forget to say something, THEN you have the option to write him about it. I wish you good luck with your session.
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  #3  
Old Jan 09, 2014, 12:37 AM
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Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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Is there a reason you would be prohibited from seeing him again if you ever felt the need?
  #4  
Old Jan 09, 2014, 08:21 PM
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Bentay Bentay is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8 View Post
I think you should go because you will regret it if you don't. It's always best to have closure when you end therapy. It may be difficult, but leaving people is part of life and you can't always walk away from it. Your final session will be a chance to discuss how far you've come, what your T thinks you still need to work on, and anything else you may want to ask or say to him. I forgot: are you quitting therapy altogether, or are you going to see someone else?

If you make a mistake or forget to say something, THEN you have the option to write him about it. I wish you good luck with your session.
Thanks Rainbow8 . I'll be finishing with individual therapy but my T has suggested I go onto group therapy.
  #5  
Old Jan 09, 2014, 08:24 PM
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Bentay Bentay is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123 View Post
Is there a reason you would be prohibited from seeing him again if you ever felt the need?
Umm I don't think I'll be able to see him again as I'm in the UK and my therapy is provided by the NHS - it would be a long process to be referred again and there would be no guarantee that I would see the same T. I think its pretty final
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  #6  
Old Jan 10, 2014, 04:52 AM
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SoupDragon SoupDragon is offline
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Yes l have thought that about ending will my T, sitting there knowing that it is the end l Imagine would feel so horrible. Of course you don't have to go, but as posted above, it may be good "practise" as in life we do have to say goodbye to people. l am also sure your T would be aware of clients having these feelings and if you could be open about them, your T may be able to guide you. Soup
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  #7  
Old Jan 10, 2014, 05:19 AM
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Nightlight Nightlight is offline
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I'm going to be ending soon because our public health system has provided all they can offer me as well. I find that it's quite difficult when it's through the public health system because it really feels so absolutely definitely final to me. Suddenly that person I trusted is no longer out there for me. It’s definitely difficult, but therapists I’ve seen always seem to think it’s important that they can try to offer closure and help a bit with the grief of moving on. I tend to react with the “please let’s rip it off really, really fast like a band-aid” (i.e. no closure session) response whenever I sense the approach of an ending.
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  #8  
Old Jan 10, 2014, 05:46 AM
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Mactastic Mactastic is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: USA
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I would go. I really, really understand how afraid you are of this ending. My T and I have spend weeks and weeks talking about it almost every time. It really bugs me that I have to find the strength to say goodbye. I think it's more damaging to our hearts when we don't have the change to thank the person that helped us so much and literally turn our backs and walk away. My heart feels heavy just to imagine it...

I would go. Be strong but gentle with yourself. Any person with half a heart would find this process hard
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Aloneandafraid, Bentay
  #9  
Old Jan 10, 2014, 02:50 PM
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Raging Quiet Raging Quiet is offline
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Does your t do private work? Some CBT counsellors in the NHS also have private practise. Maybe check with BACP (BACP Find a Therapist - Counselling and psychotherapy | It's good to talk) or UKCP.
Thanks for this!
Bentay
  #10  
Old Jan 10, 2014, 08:13 PM
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Bentay Bentay is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raging Quiet View Post
Does your t do private work? Some CBT counsellors in the NHS also have private practise. Maybe check with BACP (BACP Find a Therapist - Counselling and psychotherapy | It's good to talk) or UKCP.
Thank you for the link. The thing is, even if he did do private work I couldn't afford it
  #11  
Old Jan 11, 2014, 02:03 PM
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SoupDragon SoupDragon is offline
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l see one privately in the UK. It is a struggle to afford it, but l make sacrifices in other areas and some T's offer reduced rates. Soup
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