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#1
Jan 08, 2014, 12:06 PM
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Some of you may have followed what happened over the last two weeks. After major verbal abuse by my brother over Christmas I gave a letter about this to my T on monday. She asked if I was ok and if it could wait until our session on the 17th. I thought it could and said so. Last night was really rough and realized I could not wait that long. So for the first time in two years I reached out to her and asked for help instead of harming myself. Now I've got an additional session on Friday... Still can't believe I did it!
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 AllyIsHopeful, Anonymous43209, Bill3, Hope-Full, Karrebear, Leah123, purplemystery, Rzay4, ScarletPimpernel, unlockingsanity, Webgoji
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 AllyIsHopeful, Bill3, elliemay, Rzay4, ScarletPimpernel
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#2
Jan 08, 2014, 12:13 PM
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That's great! Congratulations on reaching out, I know it can be very scary and challenging.
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#3
Jan 08, 2014, 12:21 PM
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Good for you. Congrats on your bravery. Glad it worked out for you.
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
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#4
Jan 08, 2014, 12:35 PM
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How did it make you feel, to admit to needing help? It sounds like you are in some ways feeling proud of yourself.
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#5
Jan 08, 2014, 12:47 PM
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It made me feel very vulnerable and I hated that. But my T was great no told-you-so or anything like that, she made me feel like I did the right thing. And from her reaction when I said I couldn't take it anymore I think she read the letter... Now the only bad part is that I feel like I'm not allowed to harm myself in any way until Friday.
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| AllyIsHopeful, Anonymous200320, Bill3
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| elliemay
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#6
Jan 08, 2014, 12:58 PM
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I'm so glad you did that, and that your T reacted so well. Vulnerability sucks, though.
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| Bill3
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#7
Jan 08, 2014, 01:11 PM
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Way to go! I know how hard it is to reach out, especially to T. I'm glad your T responded the way she did, and was able to see you on Friday. I've found that "bonus" sessions like that can be extremely helpful!
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
Go ahead. Read my blog. Really. It's pretty good. |
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#8
Jan 08, 2014, 01:19 PM
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I think this is great! Good for you for being so brave to reach out. If at all possible, refrain from hurting yourself until you see your T. If you can reach out to her when you're in pain like you did, then see if you can make it a couple extra days. Hang in there
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#9
Jan 08, 2014, 02:00 PM
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Thank you all! Your responses mean a lot to me as I already wondering if I'm feeling "bad enough" to ask for that help.
And yes I'll try my hardest to stay safe until Friday. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Aloneandafraid, Anonymous200320
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| AllyIsHopeful
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#10
Jan 08, 2014, 02:30 PM
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Well Done Jordy! If you're feeling like you need to S.H then yes, you're feeling bad enough for help.
I've literally just had this discussion with my T 2 hours ago, cos i never feel like i should be reaching out to her and feel scared when i finally do. But like she says, it's good to reach out, to consider it as good self-care to do so and to feel proud for reaching out instead of ashamed.
__________________
INFP Introvert(67%) iNtuitive(50%) iNtuitive Feeling(75%) Perceiving(44)% |
| Bill3
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#11
Jan 08, 2014, 05:11 PM
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Well done Jordy!
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#12
Jan 08, 2014, 07:35 PM
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Bravo, let us know how Friday goes.
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#13
Jan 09, 2014, 03:02 AM
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I will! And knowing I have that session tomorrow makes such a difference: it helped me calm down last night and I've slept for almost 12 hours only waking up for 1/2 hour during the night. I already feel so much better!
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| Anonymous200320, Bill3, someone321
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#14
Jan 09, 2014, 08:38 AM
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thats wonderful so glad to hear it! ♥
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#15
Jan 10, 2014, 09:18 AM
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1h and 15 minutes until my session... I wish I could leave work now as I'm so nervous. But I need to finish this project. Would be a 5 minutes job if only I could concentrate!
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| Anonymous200320, Bill3, someone321
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#16
Jan 10, 2014, 11:22 AM
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#18
Jan 10, 2014, 01:06 PM
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#19
Jan 10, 2014, 02:36 PM
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I'm safe, had the time to calm down a bit.
So when I arrived at my T's office she was running late, nothing unusual with her, so I didn't think much of it. After half an hour she asks me to come in and warns me that as she tried to cramm me between two appointments she's only got 1/2 hour. I understand the reasons and can live with that. At that point I was just thankful to be there. But then she proceeds to tell me that she hasn't read my letter yet, and that she's going to quickly read it. At that point is was p*ssed! I mean I specifically told her I didn't want to be present when she first reads it! And I gave it on monday night, she doesn't work on tuesday and thursdays... I called her on wednesday for the additional session. I mean that's 48 hours advance notice. And she didn't find 10 minutes to read my letter!!! Well she starts reading it, and after the first page (out of four), says that this is going to use up too much time, and we're already limited as it is. Well duh! that's why you were supposed to read it beforehand! so she says she realizes I do that as good as I can. And tell her that since that episode on Christmas my flashbacks are much worse at night and I can't really handle them. Her response: this environment is so invalidating, you really need to move out! Gosh T, we talked about this for months! I KNOW i need to find a job and move out, even if you don't believe me i TRY to do this. But it's so hard... what I needed tonight was some short term help on how to get through these flashbacks, not another lecture on how I need to find a job and how I'm too attached to my family... And on top of that she said it's my choice whether I want to turn my life around, or count on her for emergency sessions whenever I'm struggling too much. But that she's not sure how long she's willing to do that... So basically she threatened to terminate me if I don't get a job and move out. This is the first time in the two I've been seeing her, I've asked for any extra support, I never called her, even not when supposed to, I never asked for an extra session or anything. And this is what I get the one time I allow myself to be vulnerable... |
| Bill3
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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