Shifting of the relationship.

As some of you know I keep searching for Mother figures, I had once regarded my T like that but she didn't like to hug often, those are her boundaries, and she has every right to them.

Also as some of you know I have become very fond of D, a staff member here. I had just given D a drawing and thanked her for being there for me on Sunday when I had a flashback. She calls me baby and honey, and we hug and she holds me alot, very tight hugs. She then told me she put my drawing right up on her fridge, and her daughter asked who did it and she told them. It meant a lot she did that to my drawing, like a real mom. I also got a bit envious of her daughter. I love D to pieces.

I just wonder how this is going to affect T's and I's relationship since I no longer really view her as that maternal figure. I just see her as a T, and a supporter.

ALSO here's the drawing I did for D

Such a pretty drawing Daeva!

I think that's just going to be something you have to find out. I hope the relationship with T will still be really strong. Actually, maybe it will help more that you see her just as a T, so you can be fully focused on yourself between sessions as opposed to focused on seeing her next and all the transference.

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Thanks!!!

I was thinking it may help to, maybe it's also cause I haven't been able to see her in 6 weeks as well. I jut want to see my T and hug her. I miss her. But it's like she's a stranger to me now, it's odd. I always look forward to seeing D again, I ask her when she's in next and I wait out the days. This week I don't have to wait 7 days, only two!

The reason therapist don't hug is because it doesn't actually resolve past hurts.
I'm sure it feels nice. But to me it all sounds rather dysfunctional.

I think T and are actual;y more dysfunctional. We seem to be on completely different chapters in the same book.

I long to receive a hug from mine but she won't either. Boundaries!?! Xx

I think it's great that you have two people now who care about you and are helping you in their different ways The more the better! I think D will be meeting some important needs for you that your T simply couldn't due to her boundaries and outlook, but now the thirst for her to fulfill a maternal role has died down you can take in all the help and support your T is offering in a different kind of a way. Like if D is fulfilling some of your maternal longings, you can sort of see your T as a favourite teacher or something? (my analogy isn't really working as Ts are not teachers, I know! But I mean in the same way as a child loves her mother, but can also have happy and enriching relationships with other special people, right?)

Mine hugs me, rarely. In ten months she's done it three times.

Yes, I'm hoping so too, I'm hoping it can clear up some issues I have with her and maybe I can get back some things lost to me in childhood. I've become so attached to D I wanted to name my first girl after her, Claire (D's middle name is Claire), however her daughters name is claire so GAH.