[HazelGirl]

No wonder I have avoided people! I get overwhelmed with fear once I get close to someone!

My relationship with my T has been driving me nuts, mostly because despite her constant reassurances, I am terrified she will leave. I also don't feel like I am in control of the relationship anymore, and that is scaring me. And I don't know how this whole closeness thing works, which makes me so unsure.

I guess I just want to know it will be okay in the end.

Ahhhh!!!!

[smadams]

If you trust her, try to trust her reassurances. I am quite certain she will do everything within her power to make sure the relationship is no broken.

Breathe. It will be okay.

[Rzay4]

Ask her about these abandonment issues, where did they derive from?

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by smadams

If you trust her, try to trust her reassurances. I am quite certain she will do everything within her power to make sure the relationship is no broken.

Breathe. It will be okay.

You're right. I know this. It's hard, though.

Originally Posted by Rzay4

Ask her about these abandonment issues, where did they derive from?

I know exactly where they come from. It's a major portion of what we are working through. Childhood abuse and neglect makes me very nervous and afraid around people.

[sweepy62]

I know how you feel , I always need to be reassured because of my past, my abandonment issues have been enhanced due to both my therapist leaving prematurely . I get your fears.

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[Asiablue]

It is terrifying but you just need to jump in and hope for the best. No amount of reassurances from your T will help, it's only with time can she show you she's a safe person who isn't going anywhere.

[sweepy62]

Yeah I know, but I get where your fears or annoyance is coming from as well.

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[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I know how you feel , I always need to be reassured because of my past, my abandonment issues have been enhanced due to both my therapist leaving prematurely . I get your fears.

Sweepy, I don't know if I could open back up if my T abandoned me. That would be inexplicably and overwhelmingly hard.

Originally Posted by Asiablue

It is terrifying but you just need to jump in and hope for the best. No amount of reassurances from your T will help, it's only with time can she show you she's a safe person who isn't going anywhere.

Thank you. I am trying. It's a rough journey.

[growlycat]

I get this too. In time, the trust does develop and a sense of being cared for will start to "stick".

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Sweepy, I don't know if I could open back up if my T abandoned me. That would be inexplicably and overwhelmingly hard.


Thank you. I am trying. It's a rough journey.

Thats what I been trying to say here on pc, opening up the first time with t1 was hard enough, opening up with t2 was hard, right now I am very insecure about the therapeutic relationship, and very justified, and opening up is going to be extremely difficult, not that I am not going to try, but, it affects everything. Its like being in a real relationship in real life and being left twice. I know its not the therapists fault. I know how you are feeling, I guess its in clients mind whether your therapist will leave you prematurely and , the client has the right to feel this way, because it could happen, life has changes all the time.

The fact that my old t is pushing me to open up to new t, I think is a bit unfair, but I know t wants the best for me.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Thats what I been trying to say here on pc, opening up the first time with t1 was hard enough, opening up with t2 was hard, right now I am very insecure about the therapeutic relationship, and very justified, and opening up is going to be extremely difficult, not that I am not going to try, but, it affects everything. Its like being in a real relationship in real life and being left twice. I know its not the therapists fault. I know how you are feeling, I guess its in clients mind whether your therapist will leave you prematurely and , the client has the right to feel this way, because it could happen, life has changes all the time.

The fact that my old t is pushing me to open up to new t, I think is a bit unfair, but I know t wants the best for me.

Your old T sounds like a wonderful person who does want what is best. It will take time. And yeah, I get it. It would be extraordinarily difficult. I am sorry you are having to go through that.