[stebbyneslo]

I've been in therapy for 12 years..gosh that's embarrassing. I am really attached to my therapist and have been suffering transference the entire time. She has way too much power over my life. I am tired of her having so much power. For example, if I send her an email and it takes a long time for her to respond, it practically sends me over the deep end. I obsessively check it, and I get so angry and feel so rejected. She is very warm and affectionate one minute, but then sets her boundaries the next to remind me of my place. Therapy feels so fake to me. Therapists are taught how to build rapport and make you feel like you are unconditionally loved, but its not real. I have come to believe that therapists are emotional prostitutes. I am disillusioned with therapy. Its all an act on the therapist's part. I came into therapy feeling desperate, and now I can't leave because I will feel even worse. I know I should leave, but I'm afraid it will be just too painful. Help!

[RTerroni]

Just tell her that you don't wan't too see her anymore, she'll understand, she's a Therapist I'm sure she has dealt with it in the past.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by stebbyneslo

I am tired of her having so much power. For example, if I send her an email and it takes a long time for her to respond, it practically sends me over the deep end. I obsessively check it, and I get so angry and feel so rejected. She is very warm and affectionate one minute, but then sets her boundaries the next to remind me of my place. Therapy feels so fake to me.

... I am disillusioned with therapy. Its all an act on the therapist's part. I came into therapy feeling desperate, and now I can't leave because I will feel even worse. I know I should leave, but I'm afraid it will be just too painful. Help!

I can really relate to what you are saying.

I've tried to suddenly leave, cancel sessions, not speak much etc etc. However, speaking to t and showing her what you've written may change things. Can you space your sessions apart or ask for a break to see how you cope?

[Person66]

I totally understand. I'm having the same problem with my psychiatrist, except she used to be warm and caring and now she's. Greedy and money- oriented. She has a hard time understanding that I have to sometimes pay her late do to my insurance often taking to long to reimburse me.
She always gets every cent she charges me in the end, so what's the big deal?
Now she won't see me unless I come in check in hand for bathe entire $350 fee, and sometimes spends a large portion of our session complaining!
This woman makes $750 per hour and yet still is preoccupied with money!

I'd do anything to have my old psychiatrist back, he was always flexible and didn't even blink if I paid late. He charged less for a session that lasted 15 minutes longer (45 minutes instead of 30) and instead of periodically raising his rate, he "grandfathered" me in at my original rate width only 2 increases over 10 years.
Why did he have to move to California?

These therapists are taught exctly how to manipulate people of all different personality types. We come to them at our most vulnerable and being mentally ill our judgement can be impaired.
Emotional prostitute is the perfect word for it, I couldn't agree more!

I'd venture that about 5% of them are decent moral people, but it's too hard to find them.

[Asiablue]

You may have been in therapy 12 years, but it obviously hasn't addressed some glaring issues because after 12 years there should be a secure attachment. You shouldn't have those levels of anxiety about waiting for an email and considering how bad you feel about it all in general tell me something really isn't working. You should need your therapist less not more by the time you are contemplating leaving.

[Perna]

I was in therapy 9 years, twice (with the same therapist). You should be feeling like you are making progress in your life by now, not in the same place. I would change therapies/therapists and try a different approach to my life.

[missbella]

There likely are a number of alternatives including:
. Thinking of the separation as perhaps taking a break--or permanent.
. Finding an alternate activity to do in the time slot--yoga, exercise, art?
. Finding an alternative enrichment to do on your own.

Here's one blogger on the subject of going without.
May | 2013 | TryTherapyFree

All the best.

[stebbyneslo]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

Just tell her that you don't wan't too see her anymore, she'll understand, she's a Therapist I'm sure she has dealt with it in the past.

Its not that I don't think she can handle it, its that I will miss her too much. I love her.

[stebbyneslo]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

I can really relate to what you are saying.

I've tried to suddenly leave, cancel sessions, not speak much etc etc. However, speaking to t and showing her what you've written may change things. Can you space your sessions apart or ask for a break to see how you cope?

Right now I am out of the country for 3 months, so I am on a break. She told me to email if I needed her, and she has not been good at all about getting back to me. I've tried not going for awhile, canceling sessions, taking a break, but I always end up being weak and returning. Is that what happens to you? I just can't seem to live without her, but then I get so angry about her having so much power over my emotions and think I might be better off without therapy. If I ever manage to leave therapy, I'm not going back. The same thing will just happen with another therapist. It happened with my first therapist. She had to terminate because she was finishing an internship. I was DEVASTATED. I don't want to go there again.

Thanks so much everyone for your support and thoughts about this!

[IndestructibleGirl]

Originally Posted by missbella

There likely are a number of alternatives including:
. Thinking of the separation as perhaps taking a break--or permanent.
. Finding an alternate activity to do in the time slot--yoga, exercise, art?
. Finding an alternative enrichment to do on your own.

Here's one blogger on the subject of going without.
May | 2013 | TryTherapyFree

All the best.

Missbella, this is off topic but I'm curious - are you still anti therapy in general? Reading your blog post that's in your signature, it sounds like you worked with some ropey therapists? Did you ever find anyone good?

[stebbyneslo]

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

Missbella, this is off topic but I'm curious - are you still anti therapy in general? Reading your blog post that's in your signature, it sounds like you worked with some ropey therapists? Did you ever find anyone good?

Misbella, Thank you so much for that interesting reading. It gives some validity to many of the thoughts I have had about therapy.

[missbella]

As you'll see by the ongoing discussion, many of us have had a time sorting it out.