[Leah123]

Hi all! I am looking forward to a lousy day, beginning with a procedure at the dentist's, so I thought I'd counteract the ole stress hormones with a positive thread.

Today is also the one year anniversary of my latest round of therapy. (It has been an extremely intesive year, almost daily contact and probably a solid 4-5 hours a week in session.) The prior round was 19 years ago! My therapist mentioned it might be good to talk about my progress in our session tomorrow, so I've been arguing with myself again for a while as to whether I have made any. I have, definitely some, but being in the middle of change seems discouraging at the moment, so I have a hard time giving myself credit I think.

I thought it would be fun to see everyone else's progress too, hope everyone will share your successes.

Here are some of mine:

1. I am calm enough now to spend a relaxing 30 minutes getting my daughter to bed every night, instead of the tense, angry experience it often was a year ago. (She has had serious sleep difficulties.) I still feel irritated at times, but we used to have fights and lots of disruptions... now, I mostly just sing her to sleep and snuggle.

2. I can manage my anxiety well enough that 90% of the time I no longer have outbursts from my PTSD.

3. I have reenrolled in a B.A. program after two major setbacks and am I'm most of the way through my junior year. Only a little more than one year to go, and I'm doing really well.

4. I have learned to depend on others for support more: I ask my husband for help and to share household and parenting duties more, and have engaged with relatives and reached out a couple times to make new friends also.

5. I have seen a shift in my ability to tolerate anxiety over all- I no longer have to compulsively clean house and I no longer make such poor financial choices when I feel anxious about money. (Yes, the carb addiction and one other bad habit linger, and I'm still working on anxiety big-time, but hey... I am a work in progress.)

6. I reevaluated my marriage more objectively after working for several months to figure out how my own issues and behaviors were affecting it, and I saw my husband needed therapy too, so he is now in therapy, working on his issues and parenting, so we can be healthier and better for our daughter. (The marriage is up and down, hard to tolerate, but still... progress, at least I hope I can see things more realistically now.)

7. I am back in touch with my passions and find a little time for pleasure and rest. I take naps, listen to music, write, go out, redecorated my office, indulge myself occasionally, etc.... all things I had mostly lost interest in prior to therapy.

8. I am much more straightforward with my husband, telling him how therapy's going, what I'm working on, what I appreciate about him, what I expect/want from him.

9. I am giving back a bit more, making it a priority to help others, just signed up for adopt-a-soldier, try to contribute a bit more, and reach out to others that need help, at least a little.

10. I told my mom no more 7 night annual visits! (Can't believe I forgot to list this one originally) so she'll be here for a long weekend instead this year, SO much better. (Thanks Mastodon, for your post below about asserting needs, that's what jogged my memory.)

[unaluna]

Ive noticed changes in you on here! I almost listed you as one of my favorite ts yesterday! Congrats! Im waiting for my dentist to call me today, so not quite as stressful...

Eta - okay - my success is, im feeling better about how im sharing on here. I dont feel like an outsider so much anymore. I recently mentioned this to t.

[coolibrarian]

I've been to the dentist every Tuesday of this month! I have a lot of anxiety about dental work (for a variety of reasons, which I may explain at some point), but I really needed to go. Our dentist is a very nice man, and his staff is wonderful, but the anxiety is still there, so it's quite an accomplishment for me to get all this work done without having a meltdown!

[someone321]

Wow - that's great and impressive! I am really happy for you, I hope that in some months of a therapy I will be able to write in this thread something more

[Leah123]

P.S. I hope others will share too- it doesn't have to be a concrete list like mine- there are so many goals we all have and so many kinds of progress. I think we all have something to be proud about, even like reaching out here for support is one positive thing, or showing up to therapy week after week doing the hard work!

I have started seeing a physiotherapist about the chronic pain I have lived with for over 30 years. It only took eight months from the first time that T suggested this particular physiotherapist to the point where I gathered enough courage to actually contact her... But I did it, and I have been doing my stretching exercises for almost a month now.

I have managed to assert my needs in a couple of situations - for one thing I asked my boss if I could switch offices, since I find it very stressful to share an office, and she said that she hates sharing, too, and moved me into an office with another person who is only there half a day a week. For another thing, I had a panic attack at choir rehearsal a few months ago, and instead of just staying away and potentially quitting my choir, I contacted my choir director and told him that I felt really inadequate as a singer. He was very encouraging and managed to get me to believe that he very much wanted my voice in the choir (without lying and saying that I have the strongest and bestest voice of all).

I have submitted abstracts to academic conferences twice - that's something I did not think I'd ever do again. And I gave the first of the two papers at a conference two weeks ago, and it went well, and I was pretty sociable with the other people there, too.

My T has a favourite saying: Every victory is 100% in itself. Meaning that even a success that other people might perceive as rather small is still a success, and even if it is followed by a failure, it was still a success and it can be repeated. Or something on those lines. T puts it better, but he has more experience explaining it

This is a great thread idea, Leah. Thank you!

[IndestructibleGirl]

Wow! That's some list! They are great breakthroughs - congratulations on all your hard work.

Cool and inspirational thread

#raisesglassofchampagnetoyouandyourt!

[HazelGirl]

1. I can better face the things in afraid of. I'm not perfect at it, but I have a better ability to challenge my fears rather than letting them control me (including the dentist, as many have mentioned on here...before December of 2013, I hadn't been to the dentist in 10 years).

2. I can be more honest with how I'm feeling, and I can better assert myself and my needs.

3. I am willing to risk more and dream more.

4. I feel closer to people, in terms of connection and vulnerability.

5. I understand myself better, and why I am the way I am.

6. I can tolerate anxiety much better. Even severe anxiety doesn't cause me to spiral too badly.

7. I am more accepting of myself.

8. I am better able to make decisions about my life.

9. I am more calm and peaceful.

10. I can accept other people better.

[nottrustin]

great thread!!

1) I know there are people I can trust out there to talk to.
2) I have set boundaries with family members who are toxic for me
3) I am learning that medications are the worst things in the world...(still struggle with taking them but getting there.
4) Understand the importance of taking care of myself whether through massages, weekly girls' breakfast.
5) Knowing that spending time with hubby on occasional date nights is not TAKING away from my children but teaching them that having parents not afraid to show love and spend time together is a good thing.
6) Making strides in realizing I AM a great mother not perfect but great.

[Chopin99]

I was actually planning to write a thread along the same lines when I have time. My session today focused on healing and what it looks like. I've healed a lot in the last 3 years.

That's great progress and a lot of hard work. Great idea for a thread as sometimes we forget about the positive side too.
Your list is hard to beat Leah
1. I am stronger than I was...emotionally.
2. I am more in dependant and able to cope on my own and don't rely in t as much in a crisis.
3. My depression has lifted considerably and this is my biggest accomplishment as I never thought I could get through it.
4. I can accept what has happened and try to move forward with my life

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[Leah123]

I think I'm a little less rigid and closed off, too. That one's harder to measure, maybe, but it seems in telling her all my worries and past traumas and trying to make sense of my life, after having put it away for so long, it gets easier to feel whole, and feeling whole makes it easier to just.... be open to others, compromise, relate, and be vulnerable instead of being quite so defensive and self-sufficient to the extreme.

[Flyawayblue]

Good for you. You should be very proud of yourself for coming this far.

[growlycat]

Thanks for this thread!

Things I have accomplished this past year:

1. Finally tackling my driving phobia with CBT T
2. Straightening out some medical issues/working on my overall fitness and health
3. Tolerating ambiguity at work and managing difficult personalities
4.Speaking up more at work when treated unfairly--using I statements of course

[Leah123]

It's awesome to read about these successes. I'd love to hear more!

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Great idea Leah!

1) I left an abusive marriage and then faced ex-H in court 3x
2) I now know what boundaries are and I'm enforcing mine and respecting others'
3) I'm starting to feel things again (mostly sadness right now)
4) I'm willing to open Pandora's Box and deal with my trauma (finally)

[Leah123]

I almost forgot, jogged my memory writing about cutting back on therapy this morning- I think I am through the most severe of the dissociation and suicidal ideations that emerged talking about the worst of the trauma initially. I haven't felt that bad in... probably... gosh, maybe as much as six months... that must be some progress... to get through the horror to where when I talk about it, I haven't wanted to kill myself or escape so much. (Note to self, watch the stress levels to avoid that place again.)

Bumping this so more people have the chance to share if they want. And to mention another success: two sessions ago I left the session feeling rejected and invalidated by my T, and I told him so at the next session. There is NO WAY I could have done that when I started seeing him. (He pointed out that it's real progress that I am able to tell him such things, which I appreciated.) A small success, but a success nevertheless.

[DelusionsDaily]

Ok my successes:

1) I truly feel I am worth the work I am putting into therapy

2) I am eating, far and away, more healthy than I have in my life...and I have lost 8.5 pounds in 2 months

3) my emotions are far less volatile. I manage them far better and have more peace as a result

4) I have decided to face my issues with self-esteem head on rather than running away.

5) I hide less...doing more social activities rather than just sitting at home watching tv.

[HealingTimes]

I love this thread!

My own accomplishments:

-I trust my T. I never though this would be possible.
-I am starting to like myself!
-I no longer spend all day binging, purging and SI'ing.
-I have a life! I go to work, I have a few friends, I am not so scared of people.

[justbeingme80]

Thank you for this thread. I've just found a therapist I like and am starting to work on some issues. This at least gives me hope that with time some things in my life can change.

[OneWorld]

Last week, I was able to tell T some of the fears I had that were standing in the way of me being open with her. I have a tendency to think of her as the one in charge so it was empowering to tell her what I need from her.

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