The work (Byron Katie) makes me so mad!

Good morning,

If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Regards,

Sabra

Lauliza
But you can control in how you respond to your environment and what direction you want your life to take
Um. I never had any control of my environment as a child, and I simply responded to my mothers coldness and emotional cruelty by becoming sad, lonely & depressed.
I had no control over my life.
I tried to choose my direction, when I left school at 16 I wanted to go to college/uni my parents refused, and stuck me in a factory for years. I hated it, I had a breakdown in the end.
I had no one to go to, talk to, no one to support, or mentor me. I was on my own.
A intelligent but very timid child, social phobic with crippling depression.

The problem is you see that neglect/abuse causes changes in the brain (proved by scans) causing many mental health problems.
Neglect can severely alter the way a child's brain functions, leading to an increased risk of depression in later life as well as dissociative disorders and memory impairments. Changes to the brain caused by neglect have also been linked to the emergence of panic disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder and attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/reso..._wda91912.html

If I'd had choice I would not have chosen those two narcs as parents. It must be so nice and comforting to have parents that love you.

In my life I have found very little 'choice'.

Marmaduke, I am sorry you suffered much pain in your life, and I am not saying you could have changed that. I did not have loving parents either, and I have a lot of issues because of it - severe ADD, social phobia, treatment resistent depression, chronic anxiety. For me it doesnt help to focus on how my childhood played a part in all this. It surely did, but I can not control my parents and what kind of childhood I had. Children do not have control. Adults do- maybe not over everything - you cannot control what other people do but you can control some things. It is a mindset of acceptance. It doesnt change anything, but you can change how you think about it. And now instead of just plodding through in a fog, like I have been for the last 30 years, I feel I finally can control what path I take for my future. It took trauma for me to come to this point, but sometimes thats what it takes. It lit a fire under me to finally pursue treatment that could help me take some control over my own life. If I didnt, then not only me, but my children would suffer. Now that thats been accomplished, I still need help, now its focused on helping me to reach potential I should have strived for years ago.

Neglect in early childhood absolutely affects children and their functioning. Look at the abandoned and severely neglected children in orphanages. Many suffer severe attachment disorders and much, much worse. Some get better, some end up with much worse later in life. Many people have terrible things to overcome. But its nice to think that people are able to regain hope and take back some of the control in their lives.

My new t mentioned Byron Katie today. I couldn't believe it just after I had read this thread. I was waiting to see what she said about her first before I displayed my anger towards her. New t called her a self proclaimed guru and said she hated the way she blamed to victims of sexual abuse for attracting it, she said the woman should be locked up. I was very relieved and thus made my mind up to trust my new t.

Lauliza
It is a mindset of acceptance. It doesnt change anything, but you can change how you think about it. And now instead of just plodding through in a fog, like I have been for the last 30 years, I feel I finally can control what path I take for my future.
Good post, thankyou

monalisasmile
My new t mentioned Byron Katie today.
Phew! you had me worried there for a moment. Sounds like a good T.

Same here! My heart sank when I read that sentence! haha

Wow, seems like the law if attraction is underway

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I like that quote!