The work (Byron Katie) makes me so mad!

When I was looking for a T a while back, before I found my wonderful one, a few of the ones I looked up said that they use "The Work" by Byron Katie as a part of their therapy approach. So curious as I am, I bought her book "Loving what is". I just finished reading it and I am so mad!! For anyone who is not familiar with her, that woman thinks EVERY problem we have can be solved with a technique of "enquiry" asking ourselves four questions to every problem we have. (For example: "My father didn't love me.")

Step 1 Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)

Step 2 Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)

Step 3 How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Step 4 Who would you be without the thought?

She believes everything can be healed by processing these questions. It basically put the blame, the responsibility, the bad feelings back onto the one who has the problem.

And then I came across the part where she talks about survivors of (childhood) sexual abuse. And simply put she says that the abuse was somehow "chosen" by us. That we did something to provoke it or make it happen in a way. Someone said that in one of her guru sessions she was very proud of a young woman who said she had written a letter to her father apologizing for being a "*****" as a child. Excuse me? Is this for real?
How can millions of people buy, support, believe and live after her stupid ideas? (Yes, judgmental, but I am angry right now!) How can therapists who are trained for years and years incorporate something in their practice by someone who has no psychological training whatsoever?

Does anyone know her work and what do you think?

I don't know her work, but she sounds like a moron.

Yep, sounds like she's right up there with those brainiacs who feel that every physical illness is a manifestation of an unresolved emotional issue.

The author sounds like a jerk and a moron. Personally I'd avoid anyone who uses this for their practice.

Shes a victim blamer.
I think SHE has serious issues because to think a child brings abuse on themselves is plain warped .
I reckon she is a narcissist, she is cruel and had has no empathy.

I couldn't agree more. I am baffled by the success her books and (very expensive) seminar are. To me she fits the description of a guru perfectly.
I just am so surprised at how many therapists use her approach. It's incomprehensible to me!

It sounds like a technique that can be useful in some situations, overgeneralized and taken to an extreme.
I've read an article about those 4 questions, but didn't remember the author (I also never ever heard the idea that child sexual abuse is chosen ... and I must add, I strongly believe in people's responsibility in their own destiny, but come on now ... I also believe in common sense ). I actually tried the 4 questions on some minor to medium issue I was facing (probably minor since I don't remember what it was). It provided me with a little bit of new insight. That was all. I think it can be a good starting point (but not in something extreme like trauma). I don't think this kind of exercise in and of itself would help most people to change.

Besides, there is no one side fits all when it comes to something as complex as human mental health and well-being.

Maybe she is successful because it is convenient for abusers to be able to blame the victim.
They will buy her books and support her. If you were an abuser, and wanted to get off the moral hook such beliefs are very convenient.
Its not your fault after all, that 5 year old child was a *****!
Bill Roache, a actor in Coronation Street accused of sexual assault and rape believes this rubbish. Wonder why? Because it means whatever he does no matter how wrong it is, is wait for it---------------someone else's fault.
Coronation Street Star Bill Roache, AKA Ken Barlow, Says Victims Are To Blame For Sex Abuse
This woman is a disgrace.
And a abuser in her own right.

Wow, I read the article and I am stunned and offended, I can't actually believe what I read!! That is insane!!
Yet there are many, many people out there who blame victims of sexual abuse by saying the provoked it somehow. That just makes me nauseous!

Found this, which makes byron katie sound like a cult leader, using brainwashing techniques to make people follow her.
One person's experience with Byron Katie; mimicking cult tactics | The (f)Law of Attraction

I know of one person I respect highly (NOT a victim blamer or abuser) who really likes Byron Katie, so I can't totally discard everything she says. It might be useful for some people, for example, those who are rigidly over attached to their own points of view.

For those of us who already question our own realities too much, I feel like this stuff could be poison. And the idea that child abuse was chosen is quite bizarre. Kids act like kids, which yes can be very challenging behavior, but the point is that adults are supposed to protect them regardless. If a kid tried to cross the street without looking, and the adult with them let them do it, would anyone say the kid "chose" to be hit by a car? Or would they wonder what the hell the adult was thinking?

brillskep;
I strongly believe in people's responsibility in their own destiny,
Why?
People have little responsibility in their own destiny. Your genes, your environment, good/bad parenting, whether you were born privileged (like the new royal prince George) rich or poor, none of which you decide or choose as a child.
George will probably be King one day, is he responsible for his destiny? No not really.
Genes and environment determine 'destiny' choice has nothing to do with it.

I've read her stuff and I do think the approach can be very useful with CERTAIN people. I think the concept is on reframing your thoughts so you "own" the things that happened in the past, since the past can't be changed (acceptance basically). For some people this really can be empowering. But its definitely a judgment call on the part of a T whether or not to use this approach, and I'm leary of a T who subscribes to one mode of thought or theory anyway. I think bits and pieces of her work can be incorportated into therapy successfully while other parts are ignored. Some of it is not too different from reality therapy, which is also not for everyone either.

She does have a directness about her that comes across as arrogant, and her choice of words are harsh and in some cases terrible. It depends on the client themselves and where they are in therapy in determining if this approach would be helpful or not.

I agree with Brillskep, people can take an active part in their destiny. You can't control everything - genes and early environment are set, and you cannot control your past. But you can control in how you respond to your environment and what direction you want your life to take.

My T once said that theories about mental health can be a good servant but a poor master. Meaning that seeing everything in terms of some theory or another, and classifying everybody's problems according to the same framework, and thinking that the same set of exercises will help everybody, is a very bad idea. But some theories can help us approach things from a new angle, and lead to good insights.

So, yeah, what most others have said

no but that's one but I can check off my list of not reading

~Ashley~

Had a very similar discussion with my T. I say show me a self help guru and I'll show you a psychologist flunkie. That might be harsh but yeah, I totally agree about having a formula that is supposed to be one size fits all. She strikes me as incredibly annoying too.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Wow....

She is a disgrace. There is one interview with a gay man and she can't even bring herself to look at him. It find her utterly offensive like a big pile of horse manure. I hear you can order elephant dung online now, anyone know her address?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Some people rather than work on themselves, live their life's trying to 'fix' others without clue what that entails.
They don't anger me, it actually makes me feel sad for them.

I had to report a member once who turned every single reply all over PC into an advertisement for Byron Katie I did get the sense it was allmost cult like trying to " recruite" new people. Just happy my gut instinct was somewhat true after reading this thread.

It's not just cult-like, it is a cult. Its basis seems to be money rather than faith, but it operates exactly as a cult does. The Cult Awareness Network has quite a bit of interesting info about the organization.

Elephant dung PAPER but not sure she could read it

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Did allot of reading on her, very dangerous woman she should be sued!