[Teddy:)]

Do you ever find yourself becoming overwhelmed by the whole therapy process? I find I am in this battle with myself over saying I want to change and actually taking steps towards change.
It's a really hard place to be in, on the one hand I want to change because i have discovered what avoidance has stopped me from doing in my life, but then on the other hand everything is so unknown to me and I can't seem to trust it enough to just let go and see where it takes me.

This whole process has unravelled everything that I once believed in, I have so many regrets about my past choices. I thought I was making a the right choices, but I have found out that I wasn't, I was actually doing myself more harm then good. In realizing this I have in a way lost my ability to trust my own decisions, if I have made things worse for myself before, how can I now trust that I won't do the same in the future.

I just don't know whether I can handle it anymore, I just wish I could go to my sessions, talk about stuff and then she waves her magical wand and everything is fine. I didn't realise how hard therapy could be.

I went through a phase like that where therapy was all-consuming and I couldn't think about anything else. I talked with my t about it of course. We did twice weekly sessions for a bit during that stretch. To me it seemed like yes, I had to be consumed with it, I had to kind of "un-ravel" as you said so I could put myself back together again the right way this time. Something like that. The most important thing to me is that when I got all overwhelmed and all-consumed and wanted to quit because of it, t offered the twice-weekly thing instead of letting me quit - and what that did, instead of making it worse, made it MUCH better because of the whole "T containing your process" thing. I had her to contain it twice a week, instead of only once, and that made it more manageable. Not sure I make sense but I tried. I wish you all the best with this yes therapy is very hard work and I think that we are all very brave for doing it. If more people in the world were brave like us and did this work it would be a much better world. You know? So keep up the good work. You can do this! (btw I totally relate to the magic wand comment. I have asked my t several times "why can't you just wave your magic wand and fix me?" to which she always replies "You know that's not how this works. And besides, you're not broken." One of the BEST things she ever said to me that I will hold in my heart forever.)

[unlockingsanity]

Teddy, wow. I could have written your post myself.

For me, I've found that to start the process towards change, I have made small, manageable short term goals. For me, this includes taking as many jobs as possible (I work on a call-in basis). My therapist is supporting me through this by moving my sessions around my work hours and sometimes we may reschedule several times.

I've also had to learn to accept that yes, I've wasted part of my life, but I don't have to waste the rest of it. It's forced me to really consider what I want from life vs. living for someone else all the time. It's hard to change perspective, so it does take time.

I want to encourage you that it can happen though, because it's happening in my life.

[Teddy:)]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

Teddy, wow. I could have written your post myself.

For me, I've found that to start the process towards change, I have made small, manageable short term goals. For me, this includes taking as many jobs as possible (I work on a call-in basis). My therapist is supporting me through this by moving my sessions around my work hours and sometimes we may reschedule several times.

I've also had to learn to accept that yes, I've wasted part of my life, but I don't have to waste the rest of it. It's forced me to really consider what I want from life vs. living for someone else all the time. It's hard to change perspective, so it does take time.

I want to encourage you that it can happen though, because it's happening in my life.

Thank- you so much for your insightful words, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in thinking this and it is encouraging to know that you have been through it and come out with a new perspective, that's what I am hoping for