My therapist has offered me a job

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happend.

Where I live she would loose her licence and you would be left without a job, money and a T.

What´s up with helping you with boundaries? She may just be looking for a vunerable ( I don´t know you) person to boss around as a PA and make HERSELF feel good for helping a client.

Offering you a job seems to be crossing a boundary... so I don't get that. As far as what she meant I would interpret that as don't look for her to be your therapist when you're at work, i.e. keep it together and all that.

This whole thing doesn't sound entirely right to me, but I might be missing something. I thought T's kept therapy and other kinds of relationships separate, and a boss employee relationship would not be therapeutic in my mind...

Should you take the job? Totally follow you're gut. I think it's best to do what you want because life is short.

Thank you all so much for replying, with all the reasons about why this is dangerous - wow, I didn't realize it was that alarming an idea.

She did check the idea out with her supervisor.

I don't honestly think I care about having her as a boss who knows far too much about me. That doesn't bother me. Maybe it should?

I think the key thing for me is, like people have said, what if we have a falling out in 'work' mode?

She has never been a blank slate, so I do know quite a few bits and pieces about her life anyway, which has been extremely helpful to me, in not being tempted to hold her up as some kind of perfect saint in my own mind. I don't think I'd have attached as much to someone who shut me out a lot.

My therapist has made it very clear that there's no pressure attached to this, I'm free to say no and if I don't like it after a day or a week I can go. It's part time and can fit round my other commitments, and not long term, as hopefully I'll be made my full-time offer for a job in my chosen field in the next couple months.

Her view is if we are very honest with each other we can resolve any difficulties that might occur, I think. She also thinks it will be good for me for us to be close.

I don't know. I felt empowered when I decided to try it, because I know I could do it well and I felt like it would allow me to exercise that part of me and be useful. Hmmm.

wI admit, I don't know ehat PA is short for.

But here are some of my reactions knowing that your therapist is offering you to work for her:

You CAN'T keep your therapy and work entirely separate. Your relationship continues whenever and wherever you are working together, whether you are together as therapist and client or as boss and employee. What I've learned from experience is that what happens in therapy will influence what happens in another setting and what happens in another setting will influence what happens in therapy. The best you can do is talk about it and be open with each other, if both of you are willing to do that.

There is a dual relationship and a conflict of interest I think you will need to consider, knowing your therapist and how she might deal with it. Most obvious issues to me are, what happens if she is unhappy with your services - will she let you know that as your therapist or as your employer? Might she try talking to you from both positions at once? And how might you feel about that? Also, what happens if someday, for some reason, you decide that it's best for you to quit? How might that affect your therapeutic relationship? What happens if you need to talk through your decision to quit with a therapist? Would she be as open to all possibilities and options you have, as she would be if you were going to quit a job that's not for her? What happens if she fires you? Would she stay neutral with you in therapy if, like several people do, you might need to bring work-related issues to your therapy? And what if (I don't know you so this is just an example) say you needed to work on work-life balance and decide that it's healthier for yourself to work shorter hours, will your therapist really help you with that even though as your employer she needs you to keep those hours/ Again, I'm sorry if my example doesn't make sense, I don't know what PA stands for.

The point I'm trying to make is that, while if she offers you work when you really need it that's a nice gesture and could be helpful, there are many things to consider here. Not just what I wrote above. Overall, I would consider whether I could take the difficulties that come with it as well as my and my therapist's openness to talking about what happens outside the session to the last detail so you both know where you stand.

I'm a little surprised though that she is offering you work. I've heard of other clients whose therapists showed them job opportunities with others, maybe put in a good word, not so much offer work where the therapist is the employer. But I think it does happen. You could also agree to do it for a limited time until you can find another job, if you want. That being clear from the beginning might save you a lot of trouble.

PA is a Personal assistant.

Come on, every person with common sense knows this is a bad idea. And most of the people who replied here have listed all the reasons why. Your therapist says that it won't be a problem if you're "honest with each other" - Really? How honest can you be in such a situation? You are exposed in a way that is NOT helpful to a therapeutic relationship, you are dependent in a way that is not helpful, you are in danger of huge transference issues and so on. This could actually be so very harmful that it might leave you broken in a big way.

"I don't honestly think I care about having her as a boss who knows far too much about me. That doesn't bother me. Maybe it should? " YES!! It should.
Because... well, why doesn't it bother you? Do you want her to be that huge part in your life that everything else revolves around? Is that the reason why you consider of doing it?
I believe A LOT of patients would love to see their T's on a daily basis, have more in common with with them than just the sessions - but the reasons for that are almost always rooted in their original problem.
And THAT is the problem in such a relationship.
You will become very dependent in many areas of your life - you emotional life, your work life - your personal life - suddenly it will be all about the T. You will get insight into her work with others, which might not be helpful at all. You will get insight into her mood changes, very human responses, that might confuse you.

I am sorry, this is a huge NO! For your own sake, your own health, your own value of yourself - please think carefully about this and don't accept for all the wrong reasons. Your T sounds utterly unprofessional to even suggest this. There is a reason why it is against the law in many countries. And the reasons are there to protect you. So protect yourself please!

I wouldn't suggest working with your therapist.

What if you see how much she cares about her clients? It might cause jealousy or it might cause you to feel like she cares about others more than you. Or the opposite - she might complain about some of her clients and make you worry over whether or not she even likes you.

I'd take the job, and find a new T. Gosh, what if work is stressing you, how do you vent with your boss?

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It certainly is not the conventional way to handle matters. I guess for me the question would be how much risk am I willing to gamble. I think odds are against it paying off. But if one is willing to risk a lot, it could be interesting.

A reason to loose a license for - at least here.
A very, very bad idea... :/

I disagree with it being common sense to say no to this job offer. I definitely can see how it would be highly tempting to accept - since from what I've gathered you don't have money to cover your basic bills. It's Maslow's hierarchy of needs, IMO....Can you accept and find another T to transition over to slowly? Would this job pay enough to help you out of your financial situation?

I would think it would be impossible to keep business and T separate. This is a person whom you have told some very painful and personal information. I would also think she is also able to read your body language and facial expressions. The people I work with (I presume I do work in mental health) have no idea when I am having an emotional and "bad" day because I keep on my happy face and tell them things are going great. T on the other hand I can tell her that things are going well and she knows when it is not true by my body language so she will "okay now how are things REALLY going" I wouldn't want my coworkers to have that ability....

Also what if you happen to come upon your own records. I know where I work that is not allowed. We are required to stay out of our personal records (we have access to all hospital records). Would you be able to do so??

I said it's common sense to know that it's a bad idea. And I believe that. If it was purely out of financial reasons, then perhaps accept the job and find another therapist. I mean even that might cause problems - huge ones even - but at least the dual relationship issue, the ethical issues etc. would be less of a problem.
I think you used a good word, Freewilled - tempting! Yes, it is very tempting in A LOT of ways and for a lot of reasons but almost all of them, except the very basic financial reason, are in my opinion everything else but good.

Good point - common sense that it's a bad idea and not about it being common sense to say no. I still think it comes across as a bit harsh to tell the op it's common sense though. It sounds like if someone thought saying yes might be ok, they have no common sense (?) idk.....I'm sure it just triggered me. We all have different opinions on stuff and I believe that's ok.

Nobody has asked so far (I think) whether you have looked elsewhere for a job yet. Maybe there are better options than working for your T?

I would worry that this could be disastrous. Although her intentions seem pure, and she means well, it will not be possible to keep the therapy and employee thing separate. It may very well cause a lot of trauma for you because you will have to try to carry a dual relationship, and I worry that it *will* affect your therapeutic relationship. Imagine that she has asked you to do something for her at work. Let's say you really screw it up, and it causes her trouble. Now you're going for your therapy session. How do you avoid all the feelings? Say there is a therapeutic rupture? That usually happens periodically (and sometimes frequently) throughout the therapeutic relationship. So.. how do you work for someone who IS your therapeutic relationship, but there has been a rupture that needs to be worked out in session. But now you're at work, and you're feeling all the weird painful feelings that ruptures can cause?

Technically, it is universally unethical for a therapist to have a dual relationship with a client. And that cardinal rule is primarily for the protection of the client. And if the therapeutic relationship you have with her is important for your well-being, then no doubt you'll want to protect it. In order to protect it, you may have to decline her well-meaning offer.

Just my thoughts...

Right. I'm taking issue with this - with the fact you called my common sense into question. Afaik, every other poster was kind enough to point out the potential pitfalls without resorting to a scoffing personal remark.

Psych Central, after my therapist's office, is probably the place I let it all hang out the most. I feel safe here, and able to vent and bounce ideas and whatnot, and it really is unnecessary to make those kind of judgmental statements.

FYI (not that I should have to explain myself to you, but I am choosing to to back up what I have to say) I have led a very independent life with quite a lot of risk taking behaviour (I only know this in hindsight) and always been able to talk or charm my way out of dangerous situations, mercifully mostly with success. So no, it's NOT immediately apparent to me that this is considered a huge massive deal. I posted here looking for advice - and I got it. But your remark about 'common sense' pissed me off

YOUR issues are DIFFERENT from mine. That does not make it okay for you to adopt a superior tone.

I am the first person in my family to have psychotherapy. I am from a culture that is not au fait with it. All my knowledge is from reading, pretty much. And because my therapeutic relationship has not adhered to other standard boundaries (for example, my therapist and I say 'I love you') and yet has helped me an incredible amount, that means I view other standard boundaries with a degree of flexibility. Because this is my learned experience.

I am very sorry that I have offended you, and again, I did not say that you have no common sense, I said that it's common sense to know that this is a bad idea. Perhaps that was a stupid thing to say! I wasn't actually attacking you, but I do see how my words may have come across. But I was really only trying to help.
I sincerely apologize, it was a poor choice of words! I am sorry!

I edited because I want to say something else.. I think I assumed you were in the US and here in the US this kind of dual relationship would not be allowed and I guess I assumed something that might not have been right. So in my (perhaps to blunt way) the common sense part was because I thought it IS common sense. I didn't take into account your experiences or background and I apologize for that.

But again, I never meant to offend you, I just agree with almost everyone here that this needs to be a very thought through decision and that it carries a lot of dangers. But I do see how my first sentence comes over, now that I read it again it was blunt and unnecessary. Sorry!

In light of your last session (session before last? I'm not sure), do you think there is a risk that if you turn down this job offer, your T may use that against you as a way you are not committing fully to therapy, or not doing your half? You know your T and I don't, of course, but I do wonder if the job offer isn't a way for your T to angle for payment for her services, and I worry that if she has that kind of motivation (conscious or unconscious), if you turning the job down would complicate or end your therapy.

I don't have any advice, just food for thought.

Thank you. No, I am definitely sure she won't use it against me if I said no, she simply wouldn't do that. She has gone to great lengths to stress that I don't have to take it, she genuinely thinks it would be a good idea - I am going mad with frustration waiting for my 'real' career to kickstart once a few things have fallen into place, and am poverty stricken in the meanwhile. She thinks it would be good for us to be close, that it would actually be good for our relationship.

I work part time at the moment. The hours are not fixed and it is almost impossible to get something to fit round them, but I have to prioritize it because it is opening the doors to the interviews I'm doing at the moment. I am waiting for a permanent position in another particular company to become available (I should have started in February and it's been delayed). Because of nerve damage in my legs, I am not able to stand all day in a shop or a bar, so unfortunately cannot pick up casual extra work that way.

I wish you well.

I mentioned this to my Therapist today and she told me while she is personally against it she doesn't see anything wrong with Therapists who may offer their clients a job.

l wonder if deep down, you too were uncomfortable with this, hence the posting?

IMO, your T is encouraging dependency here, which l think is different from attachment (which l know can be helpful).

Dependency is very disempowering and l would be concerned that your T and Supervisor do not readily see this themselves.

Is your T UKCP registered?

Initially I would have jumped at a chance like this. To work with T. To learn more about her professional world. But, in the end I know I would not do it. It may change the relationship we now have. I might see her in a completely different way than I do now. Nope, not I.