[lenjan]

My first T was recommended by my pdoc. Since then, I've gotten referrals from one T to another, and in the case of my last one, I got who they assigned me at the clinic. (Best therapy experience of my life, btw.)

Now I am in a brand-new town and haven't seen a pdoc yet. But I'm pretty desperate for a T. The ins. co. gives me 20 whole visits, like that's going to do me any good. So I opened the phone book and called the one who advertised "sliding scale" and "private pay guarantees absolute confidentiality." She listed her cell number, so I gave a call.

It seems to me that if you use a cell for work, you should answer it like you were sitting in an office. She answered with a VERY abrupt "hello," and I was so taken aback I wasn't sure I had the right person. She talked over me and didn't ask very many questions.

Am I wrong in thinking these are bad signs?

I'm meeting her Tuesday after work -- handily enough, her office is right across the street from mine. But I'm already worried enough to keep calling around. So how do you pick a T?

Candy

Hey.

I read somewhere that it can be helpful to have 6 sessions before deciding whether you are going to keep working with someone or not.

It can take a bit of time to get to know each other. But that being said, sometimes you can tell fairly much straight away that it isn't going to work out.

I spent quite a lot of time trying to find someone to see here... I started with the phone book. Nobody advertised that they offered sliding scales or student rates or anything like that. I'd just call them up and say that I was looking to see someone and then explain about my financial situation. The student rates that they were prepared to offer were still far too expensive for me and so that was that.

(I should also say that there is a shortage of health professionals and hairdressers and gardeners etc in my region).

I went to a GP and asked for a referral for a p-doc. I thought a p-doc might be able to refer me onto someone (or agree to see me themself). That wasn't working out... I contacted crisis assessment services and ended up getting a referral from one of the workers there. Referred on... Referred on... Then I found my t.

It can take a bit of time and effort to find someone...

One lady came highly reccomended indeed. I wasn't impressed with her over the phone, though. She sounded like she was doing something else and was distracted when I called. Like you found. I guess the trouble with cellphones is they do have a tendency to go off at inconvenient times. Could be that that was what happened there. She could have been in the bathroom or she could have forgotten to turn it off in a session or maybe... There are lots of things that could be going on there.

Can you meet with her and see how it goes?

[January]

Candy,

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
private pay guarantees absolute confidentiality."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That statement alone would be enough to keep me from going to her. I don't care what kind of payment she receives, it is her job to keep everyone's case in complete confidence!

She sounds totally unprofessional. I hope I'm wrong, but that's just my take on it.

Hugs,

Jan

[phillygirl]

I read that differently than you did, January. I took 'private pay' as meaning no insurance involved and from that, there is no permanent record connected with you through insurance. Maybe I'm wrong but that's what it sounded like to me.

[lenjan]

That's how I took it too, phillygirl.

I dunno. We'll see how it goes Tuesday. I knew by the 3rd week that I was going to do well with my last T, so I guess I'll give this one a chance.

[Perna]

I think with a cell phone (which I think everyone has these days) it's hard to tell what's happening on the other end. I'm surprised she answered at all, my T had the whole message, "I'll call you back," etc. I'd wait until I saw her in person before I decided what she was like and whether she would work out. Her cell phone is probably both her personal and work phone (and may be a phone others in her family use, my husband and I only have one) so it might not be practical for her to answer other than "Hello." If her best friend calls her on it is she going to want to answer "professionally?"

[JonB]

It doesn't sound too good. I'm very bad about going with my gut feeling. I would consider going ahead and meeting and see what your gut tells you when you're there in person. I can usually tell quickly if I'm going to work well with someone.

I would still keep calling around and maybe even meet another T or 2 just to see who gives you the most "warm fuzzies." Then, if you meet her and still don't like her, you'll be ahead of the game at finding another T.

Good luck.

[Rapunzel]

I'd say meet with her, ask questions, and see what you think. I wouldn't make a good impression over the phone probably either, because I don't do phone that well. So I'd give her the benefit of the doubt there.

The line about private pay and confidentiality is fairly standard, actually. Confidentiality does have limits, such as if you want your insurance company to be billed then they will require some information. She's just saying that you have the option with her of paying privately so that she isn't required to share any information for billing. I'd want to know if she accepts insurance if you do want to use your insurance. Some Ts only accept private payment, and some only work with insurance, or medicaid, or whatever. You just have to ask them.

first I contact my insurance to find out what therapy agencys are in my area that is on their approved coverage list. then I set intake-consultation appointment with an gaency and take with me a paper that I have previously filled out that has -

Why I feel that I need to be in therapy
What my problems are
Some ideas for how to solve those problems with a therapist
what I want from a therapist
Male or female therapist
any questions that I want to ask such as -

cost
agency protocal for suicidal behavior
agency protocal for self injury behaviors
emergency numbers

then I go to the intake and get assigned a therapist.

I keep a running journal about my serssions and questions and so on for a month and then when the month is over I look back on my journals and decide if I want to continue with that therapist or continue looking.

If I continue looking I cancel my next appointment and let the therapist know I will no longer be scheduling appointments with them as I am looking into my other options. or I meet with my present therapist and let them know what my problems are that is the reason why I am going to change therapists so that they are not left hanging in the dark, then I say goodbye and move on to the next therapist.

I also use the book the courage to heal which has a chapter on choosing a new therapist that has questions and so on for looking for a new therapist.

[(JD)]

I think considering the circumstances, you might want to give her a real try. I know many ppl who are terrible on the phone, but great in person. You don't know the situation in which she was talking with you (you called her) so I hope her "talking over you" and not asking many questions was for your sake

Any T at this time of year is a good thing I think... and it takes many sessions/weeks to really become settled with one another, imo. Good wishes!

[biiv]

hey Candybear,
i agree with the others that have said you cant be sure what the T was doing when she answered. when i was looking for my T i rang her cell and she was quite abrupt and scary too. turns out she was sitting in traffic talking on the phone and when i met her in person she was such a dote. lovely and we ve clicked really well. she didnt ask me any questions really at that first call either but asked a lot when we met. id say it cant hurt to meet at least once. in fact, unless your instincts are screaming no after that meeting, id agree with the others that meeting a few times might be a good idea before you make a decision. if it makes you feel more comfortable though do keep calling around as well and you can even set up more appointments so that if it doesnt work out with her you have alternatives without having to wait for ages again. i did the same thing and then cancelled two other appointments when i clicked with this T.
i really hope it works out with her. id love to hear how it goes when you do meet. good luck!
ps myself makes a good point about knowing what you want to say during the first session. it can make it a lot easier!